@mickaela My almost 2 year old has only woken up past 6am a handful of times in his life (all when sick or having a growth spurt). Normally it’s 5-5.30am but can be as early as 4am.
We’ve tried everything (different nap times, bedtimes, snack before bed, wake to sleep, sleep training, night light, pitch black, different meal times) and nothing makes a difference. We’re just living with it and have adjusted as needed. I have low sleep needs so he’s clearly got it from me.
However 6.30pm is quite an early bedtime. We do 7.30pm as us saying good night and he’s asleep by 8pm. He is more likely to sleep to 5.30am at an 8pm bedtime.
He sleeps 11 hours a day but still needs a daytime nap. So for now he’ll nap 1.5 ish hours and sleep the rest of his sleep at night. Perhaps when we drop the nap he’ll go to 11 hours at night.
lots of physical play before bedtime. Jumping, wrestling, tickling. Lots of kisses everywhere and bear hugs.
consistent bedtime routine (brush teeth, read a book)
good sleep hygiene (dark room, white noise)
warm whole milk before bed (or a filling snack)
gro clock. Every morning when she wakes up early say “red is sleeping” and keep the lights off. You can stay in the room or go in an out but keep saying “red is for sleeping”. When it’s time to wake up (6am), turn on the lights and point to the clock and say enthusiastically “yellow means wakeup! Good morning!”.
It will take a few weeks to a month to get it, but this is what has worked for us!
@mickaela Going to bed at 630 and rising at 4am is not bad in terms of total sleep. I would just commit to the later bedtime and give it time. You are trying to shift her circadian rhythm and biological schedule so it will take time. And be painful.
But for the solidarity part, my 21month old recently started waking up at night, asking for milk and then wanting to hang out for one to two hrs. It's brutal. We know we have to cry it out but I don't want to.
@mickaela My son has always been an early riser, he was waking up at 4-4:30 am for awhile. Let me tell you, it has been difficult. I have no advice but I am with you. He is going to turn 18 months on Friday, he just started to sleep until 5-5:30 am and we call that a win for us.
We have tried everything, cap naps, not capping naps, earlier bed times, later bed times. Nothing has worked for us. This kid just likes waking up at the same time. Today after days of waking up at 5:30 he wakes up at 4:30. He sleeps great at night and goes to bed without any issues. So husband and I trade off mornings. If I wake up with him early then I go to bed early like 8:30-9pm. Its the only way we felt like we function, we can have dinner together husband and I get some time together and then husband gets time to himself to clean or do whatever he wants. Then the next day we switch.
@mickaela Is there something in the air right now? We’re going through this and several of my friends are too! I am DREADING putting our clocks back in a couple weeks, what are we going to do, start the day at 3 Not a lot of suggestions but solidarity
@mickaela You have fantastic advice here, and I think most of it will help you. I have super early risers too and it’s really freaking hard. If nothing works, the other possibility (and it can suck) is to figure out how to adjust to it.
If she sleeps at 6:30, you sleep by 8 or whatever. Shift as much housework to the morning (or your partner and you switch off). If your someone that enjoys being outside, put her in the stroller and go for a walk at 4 am. She’ll fall asleep and you at least aren’t trapped in your house . That’s not an answer for everyone - but it makes me feel more like a human / “productive” to walk a few miles in the morning.
There are probably actual solutions that will work for you. But if not- you may need to adjust for a short time until she grows out of it. Hugs though. It’s not easy.
@mickaela Solidarity. My almost 16 month old has been sleeping like trash since I went back to work in August and my husband took over primary care during the week.
I have no advice, only hope that it gets better soon for the both of us because sleeping in 2-3 hour stretches is not working for me.
@mickaela My kid is an early riser. He started waking at 4 when he was right around 18 months because he was needing a slightly later bedtime and an adjusted nap schedule (for the record nap from 12:30-2:30, bedtime at 7). Once we got that all figured out, he went back to his usual 6-6:30am wake-up. Which is still early but within the realm of acceptable.
@mickaela I think you need to start going to bed at 6:30 too I know it's impossibly hard but I would go to bed the instant your child does. Your partner can do night chores like morning meal prep/kitchen clean up, etc and then you let him sleep in the morning.
This saved us for the year that our child woke at 4. If it makes you feel better, we had one twin that never fell asleep till midnight or 1 and the other twin woke at 4. It was rough times and we learned to sleep any second our child was asleep, no matter how weird that time would be.
@mnike OP only has one child though. Personally it would have made me feel even worse not to have a single moment to be awake and myself, that's all. Those couple of hours of time to myself did and do help me feel human.
@jamesmason10 Then you were not that sleep deprived I was literally falling asleep while driving and once set my house on fire because I was so sleepy. I was not human. I was just pure, unadulterated exhaustion.
Honestly my kids are 11 now and I still go to sleep when they do. I haven't watched a TV show or a movie in over 10 years. Sometimes I miss hobbies and other things I used to do. But... Sleep disorders are hard on parents so I'm practicing radical acceptance. We've done the gamut of specialists and sleep clinics and sleep consultants and it's not improved anything and railing against it will not change anything.
But I stand by my advice OP. Exhaustion makes depression so sleep at any time you can. I pray this will be a short-lived stage.
@mnike Well no, I didn't have twins, and OP doesn't either. My daughter was a terrible sleeper, still isn't great at six, but of course it's not the same as having two. There's nothing to say OP's child has a sleep disorder, and she doesn't have two, she has one child who wakes early, not even during the night, she doesn't need 10 hours sleep every night.
Anyway, I was just sharing that a little adult time is really important to me. I'm sorry things were so hard for you but most people can and should take a little time for themselves.
Not a lot of suggestions but solidarity
. That’s not an answer for everyone - but it makes me feel more like a human / “productive” to walk a few miles in the morning.
I know it's impossibly hard but I would go to bed the instant your child does. Your partner can do night chores like morning meal prep/kitchen clean up, etc and then you let him sleep in the morning.
I was literally falling asleep while driving and once set my house on fire because I was so sleepy. I was not human. I was just pure, unadulterated exhaustion.