My 9.5 yo daughter used my laptop & didn’t know I could see her google search on my phone
- Thread starter knowledgeableindividual
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katrina2017
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jcislove2331
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@thegunhost That scene resonated with me…my zayde let me drive his Oldsmobile when I was little and I nearly hit the only thing on the lot, a big ol tree. Only time I remember him raising his voice about something, telling me to turn the wheel.
@knowledgeableindividual Lol if my parents only knew what was going on in my internet search history back in the 90s! I was in chat rooms doing not so innocent things…
The bond you have with your daughter, to express this is going to seriously come in handle as she develops. You’re in a good spot and doing a great job
The bond you have with your daughter, to express this is going to seriously come in handle as she develops. You’re in a good spot and doing a great job
rexmegabizz
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@quint Omg. The moment we had internet in the 90s, I was ALL up in those MSN chatrooms with pedos. I freaking knew it and as a kid I thought it was so fun. I would download model photos or scan magazine pictures of girls and send them. Looking back, I'm like how naieve and what a scary ass world it was back then online. I shudder at the idea of my kids now getting online, but also feel a sense of security with more adult protections.
knowledgeableindividual
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@knowledgeableindividual When I (21F) was your daughter’s age, I innocently googled “Harry Potter and Hermione kiss” because I liked looking at HP themed candy, and I just wanted to see if there was a giant Hershey’s kiss with my favorite characters on the wrapper. It sounds far-fetched but that was really what I was looking for, lol.
My dad saw over my shoulder. He banned me from using Google after that, which looking back was extreme and ridiculous no matter what he thought. I realized he misunderstood, but little me was I guess too upset or embarrassed to explain. Anyway, I just wanted to say this story is very wholesome, and you sound like a lovely parent!
My dad saw over my shoulder. He banned me from using Google after that, which looking back was extreme and ridiculous no matter what he thought. I realized he misunderstood, but little me was I guess too upset or embarrassed to explain. Anyway, I just wanted to say this story is very wholesome, and you sound like a lovely parent!
knowledgeableindividual
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@thechange Aw, I’m so sad for younger you. That’s the worst feeling as a kid when you get in trouble for something unfairly, especially for something as innocent and sweet as that!
@knowledgeableindividual Thank you 
katrina2017
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@thechange I just read your comment and thought, "She's 21, did Google exist in its current form when she was 9/10?"
Then I remembered I'm 20.
So, yes, it did.
Then I remembered I'm 20.
So, yes, it did.
@knowledgeableindividual My nearly 10 yo asked me last week if I knew about touching yourself "there" and it felt good. She said her and her best friend were talking and both shared that they had each experienced this, just in different ways. My daughter asked if I had ever done it as well. So we had a very age appropriate, and body-positive conversation about it.
It was awkward for me. But I was so proud of how I got past that.
Growing up, my mom never talked about this stuff with me. The closest I got was my mom screaming at me when I was 14 and asked about tampons, demanding to know if I was having sex, because tampons were only for girls who had sex. It was scary, and I NEVER went to my mom about anything having to do with my reproductive health ever again. Thank God that never truly backfired on me.
I know this makes my mom sound like a monster. But I know this came from how she was raised. And her mom really was in an abusive monster. She tried so hard to do better as a mom, but there were certain areas she failed. Like this.
Despite my own trauma with my mom, I resolved to do better my daughter. Inside, these conversations can feel incredibly triggering. But I work so hard to project a calm, kind, honest and factual demeanor with my daughter. That conversation we had earlier this week gives me hope that I'm doing alright with it.
Right after I answered her questions, she shared that her friend talked to her mom about it too, and her mom said the same things I did. I see her mom as a role model for creating that honest, open, trusting space for conversation with her daughter, so this was really affirming.
And honestly, if I can do that, given how I was raised, I think just about anyone could.
It was awkward for me. But I was so proud of how I got past that.
Growing up, my mom never talked about this stuff with me. The closest I got was my mom screaming at me when I was 14 and asked about tampons, demanding to know if I was having sex, because tampons were only for girls who had sex. It was scary, and I NEVER went to my mom about anything having to do with my reproductive health ever again. Thank God that never truly backfired on me.
I know this makes my mom sound like a monster. But I know this came from how she was raised. And her mom really was in an abusive monster. She tried so hard to do better as a mom, but there were certain areas she failed. Like this.
Despite my own trauma with my mom, I resolved to do better my daughter. Inside, these conversations can feel incredibly triggering. But I work so hard to project a calm, kind, honest and factual demeanor with my daughter. That conversation we had earlier this week gives me hope that I'm doing alright with it.
Right after I answered her questions, she shared that her friend talked to her mom about it too, and her mom said the same things I did. I see her mom as a role model for creating that honest, open, trusting space for conversation with her daughter, so this was really affirming.
And honestly, if I can do that, given how I was raised, I think just about anyone could.
knowledgeableindividual
New member
@michaeljs That is some seriously good parenting that she came to you like that. I have a very similar background with my mom, she came from MASSIVE trauma and she really tried to do better but still failed in some pretty spectacular ways. May our own children be unburdened by the generational trauma we had to carry.
On a lighter note, I am laughing at your daughter not being sure if you knew about touching yourself and that she might be letting you in on a big secret!
On a lighter note, I am laughing at your daughter not being sure if you knew about touching yourself and that she might be letting you in on a big secret!
@knowledgeableindividual Good God, it's like reading about my mom. She's kind of said some things about her childhood that I think are JUST registering as abuse, several decades later, because those generations were fucking crazy. She certainly hasn't recovered from the emotional damage her old ass father still attempts to inflict on her. And she, like your mothers, tried so damn hard and didn't do the shit her parents did, but also failed me in such massive ways. INCLUDING reproductive discussions.
creationmakessense
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@michaeljs
This makes me happy. It seems like abuse cycles through and repeats itself over and over through the generations. I'm glad she tried to do better by you, even if she didn't get it all right. That sets you up to do better still by your kid, which is the important thing.
I wish more people did this. Thank you for your story.
This makes me happy. It seems like abuse cycles through and repeats itself over and over through the generations. I'm glad she tried to do better by you, even if she didn't get it all right. That sets you up to do better still by your kid, which is the important thing.
I wish more people did this. Thank you for your story.
@creationmakessense I think it’s much more common for people growing up now to break the generational abuse cycle because of the internet. There are so many resources to at least learn about trauma and self healing. It’s up to us if we want to accept that we have issues and trauma that we need to deal with.
It’s so nice to hear about other people breaking the cycle of abuse.
It’s so nice to hear about other people breaking the cycle of abuse.