@kayjones87 I think it's worth looking at the division of parenting labor.
Men often do the fun parts and leave the nagging, discipline, and emotional labor to us. This is not only a problem because it leaves us unfairly burdened, but even more so because it robs us of feeling joy in our children. And it robs our children of experiencing our love in a way they can understand.
It's a lot easier to just play with kids when you aren't thinking of the other things you still have to do, and also noticing a million little things you have to correct because the other parent won't (no, don't put that so close to your brother's face, the dog didn't like that, no pencils in our nose!).
You can't get into the right headspace, and it feels boring or stupid.
And of course, our kids don't like us as much. Why would they? They don't understand that their dad is shirking his duties. They only understand that their dad pretends to be a dinosaur who is going to eat them, while their mom is fussing at them in the same moment for running in the house.
If this is what the division of parenting labor looks like in your house, it's most likely the problem.
Men often do the fun parts and leave the nagging, discipline, and emotional labor to us. This is not only a problem because it leaves us unfairly burdened, but even more so because it robs us of feeling joy in our children. And it robs our children of experiencing our love in a way they can understand.
It's a lot easier to just play with kids when you aren't thinking of the other things you still have to do, and also noticing a million little things you have to correct because the other parent won't (no, don't put that so close to your brother's face, the dog didn't like that, no pencils in our nose!).
You can't get into the right headspace, and it feels boring or stupid.
And of course, our kids don't like us as much. Why would they? They don't understand that their dad is shirking his duties. They only understand that their dad pretends to be a dinosaur who is going to eat them, while their mom is fussing at them in the same moment for running in the house.
If this is what the division of parenting labor looks like in your house, it's most likely the problem.