@bytehoven We’re getting married next year. I weirdly feel like I’d have have more “say” when I’m a wife rather than a girlfriend, even though we’ve been together for years.
Ultimately, I don’t want to push him into something he doesn’t want to do. That’s not fair and I wouldn’t like that if it were the other way around. I’m drip feeding it at the mo with him. I think he needs some time to come round to the idea and then we’ll think about a doctor’s visit.
@nocalove It’s obviously his body & his ultimate choice, but I would like to add that my dad refused to have more kids (my mom wanted) & also refused a vasectomy. My mom had a tubal ligation done in her early 20’s that ended up causing severe (endometriosis?) problems that I don’t know how else to put it but completely ruined her health. To cure her endo problems she was told (by a forceful doctor) that her only option was then a full hysterectomy. Which has since caused such a massive hormone imbalance that she is constantly struggling with everyyy system in her body especially energy, weight, temperature, focus, etc.
Now I admit, I may be uneducated on the current procedure & practices & a bit alarmist here due to bitterness. I don’t know how often problems occur, but I do know that if my dad had the vasectomy instead (simple but painful outpatient procedure vs abdominal surgery) than I would have a healthy mom who hasn’t struggled for the past 25 years. Vasectomies do not cause the same scale of problems.
@nocalove My husband got a vasectomy and the doctor said that if we change our minds things are accessible, to put it nicely. I had a horrible pregnancy and we were definitely OAD. I was going to get the IUD but the doctor scratch me during the process, it hurt so bad I backed out quickly. The vasectomy was so easy for him, he got to sit for the rest of the day playing video games while I got him snacks. He mentioned to his buddies he had it done they were actually impressed with him and started talking about other friends who had it done. Half of my husband’s coworkers have had it done and they work construction. The stigma seems to be more in their head than in real life. He’s parents were more upset than anyone else around us, but that’s none of their business.
@nocalove Vasectomy all the way. Husband got his done proudly at 2 weeks PP. Could have gotten it done a week before the baby even arrived. Took 10 min. He was "laid up" for a day.
@nocalove I had my tubes removed. We originally wanted more than one child, but after multiple miscarriages we said screw it and my doctor was the one that first mentioned a bilat. salpingectomy because she knew that we had been through a lot and that we were done. When she did my last D&C she did it then. It's nice to know that we won't have to go down that road anymore, and hey if I drink too much wine I don't have to worry about an oops anymore Also, it lowers your chance of cervical cancer by about 60%.
@nocalove I probably have nothing supportive to add as I'm firmly on the vasectomy train for my husband. I've absolutely had enough bullshit side effects from birth control over the last 9yrs of our relationship and then this pregnancy just seals the deal that I'm pretty firmly OAD. I really don't think I can go through another pregnancy without losing my sanity. I'm 39weeks and I'm so fucking sick of being pregnant. I don't know how women do this multiple times. I told my husband if he ever expects sex again he will wear a condom or get snipped. I'm not going through this shit again and I'm definitely not putting my body through the bullshit birth control brings any longer.
@nocalove I've enjoyed my nexplanon arm implant, because I've had a mirena escape through my cervix. The next best option is sterilization for either of you.
@nocalove My husband is unable to get a vasectomy due to health reasons or else he would. So I am getting my tubes cut out! It’s happening in a few weeks and I’m so excited! I’m in the USA and my insurance actually covers it (crazy right?). I’d definitely talk with the doc and see what they say
@nocalove My husband was really reluctant to do this too. I had to mention it a few times and explain my points of view, and finally he got on board. We went to our first consultation a month ago. We're postponing it for now because I got cold feet, not him lol. GL!
@nocalove I plan to ask my dr for a hysterectomy at my 1 year postpartum follow up. I have some prolapse after my son and I just want everything gone. Take it all out, I don't care if I go through menopause early.
@nocalove I mean you could do a tubal ligation (assuming you have tubes. I don't anymore. It's why I'm OAD), but my husband got a vasectomy, and he actually said his life is easier because of it. He doesn't have random pain in his balls anymore.
I also get the permanency aspect, and it is a big one to wrap your head around (we've been sterile for 3 years and it still feels weird), but I'd go with either sterilization option if you're truly OAD.
Also, it lowers your chance of cervical cancer by about 60%.