Karens at the gym told me I shouldn’t be working out because I’m pregnant

[quilly]

This is the second time this has happened. I let the first time slide since I was just thinking it was one ignorant old lady.

But some time passes, another woman asked if she can speak to me and she told me that she notices that I’m pregnant and I shouldn’t be here and I should be home in bed eating and watching television. I was being a smart mouth and asked her “are you a doctor by any chance?” And she said “no but I’ve been pregnant before and I’m much older than you, I do know that you should be home resting and letting your husband take care of you.” I felt so shocked and insulted. Why do people think pregnant women aren’t allowed to exercise? There has been so many people that believe this myth even my own friends and family will sometimes not let me do simple tasks like carry groceries out of my car because they think this is too much for me to handle. I’m not even heavily pregnant, this is so ridiculous.

No, I’m not deadlifting or doing anything serious at the gym. I’m doing simple exercises and light cardio. I’ve talked to my doctor about this don’t worry, she actually recommends pregnant women to exercise daily for at least 30 minutes. I’ve always put my health as a priority, I’ve been exercising regularly since I was 18, I’m 25 now. I don’t like being lazy. At the end of the day, I’m healthy and my baby is healthy.

Everyone needs to calm down lol. I’m baffled how everyone thinks it’s actually healthy for ANYONE, pregnant or not…to stay at home and in bed all day and have little to no movement especially while pregnant? I’m pregnant, not disabled.

I know I can just ignore it but this is just irritating that people especially people that I don’t even know are approaching me and confronting me about this nonissue. I feel like so many people care that shouldn’t care. I feel like they are trying to control or police my body.

 

[seditthis]

@quilly The problem is that the older generation got terrible advice!

so if you want to do the work you can validate that it used to be like that, because they couldn’t tell when it would be important to stay inactive and when it’s better to exercise. “but we’re so lucky now, they can tell when you need to stay still. And they also found that if you don’t have to stay still it’s actually better to exercise! crazy how things change, right?”

I legit think this is trauma: they were shamed & controlled during pregnancy & unfortunately they internalized it & are passing it on.

 

[waffleone3]

@seditthis Upvoting this because it is such a gracious and kind response. I work out at a rural YMCA - the clientele is predominantly the “silver sneakers” club. I’m proud of them for being there, women of that generation had it rough. They were given terrible advice and many still don’t understand how terrible it was.

 

[seditthis]

@waffleone3 yeah I wholeheartedly agree

& thank you!

 

[hailsatan420]

@seditthis I like this approach a lot.

 

[seditthis]

@hailsatan420 thank you!

 

[adit]

@quilly I’m finding out that people have lots of ideas about pregnancy that aren’t correct. My MIL has been pregnant 4 times and didn’t know you can drink coffee (a limited amount of course). My BIL asked if I should be sleeping on my stomach when my husband sent his family a cute pic of me passed out in front of our AC when I was barely 12 weeks. My SIL asked if it was safe to use an iron to iron clothes because it might cook the baby. My other BIL asked if I’ve thought of changing my diet while pregnant because I was the only one at the table who ordered a salad (a salad with peppered tenderloin, pita bread, slivered applies, bleu cheese, and roasted tomatoes).
Luckily I’ve made it 21 weeks at the gym without any comments from strangers. My family knows me better but obviously my in-laws have lots of questions as our baby is the first in the family.
Just be confident and if you feel good and happy about what you’re doing, just smile and wave.

 

[lcnolen2022]

@adit Okay the ironing one is wild though Did she think you were ironing the clothes while you were wearing them?! (ouch!)

 

[adit]

@lcnolen2022 No we were actually all ironing napkins for her wedding.

 

[rationalchristian]

@adit oh man you should have taken the out

 

[quilly]

@adit Oh wow that’s crazy! I don’t know where all these silly pregnancy myths come from. I feel that they all get this information from TV shows that were from like 20+ years ago. My husband also thought I couldn’t have coffee or spicy food until he actually started doing research.

 

[virgy]

@adit There are some things pregnant women should avoid to eat, among those certain cheeses, so your brother in law might not have been completely off there. Obviously consult your doctor. But there is science behind this one.

 

[adit]

@virgy Yeah I’m not really sure what he was getting after. I know some soft cheeses hold risks. I haven’t eaten cold lunch meats or uncooked fish. I talk to my doctor about my diet when I see her and she’s had no issues with any of it.
I think people see you eat once and have no idea what the rest of your day eating looks like and judge. Like just because I had a healthy salad for lunch doesnt mean I didn’t have a bunch of chicken, rice, and beans and a chocolate protein shake for dinner.

 

[ajfoyt]

@adit Depends on the country and the safety of the food supply. Animal products allow more bacteria in the us, so they're more likely to be dangerous during pregnancy. Most of Europe, for example, vaccinated chickens against salmonella. So funny eggs are safe. Some countries require sushi-grade fish to be flash frozen, so farmed salmon sashimi is considered safe. It's the same with some meats depending on the country.

 

[alotanor]

@quilly My OB’s recommendations were to not try to PR anything and stop if it didn’t feel right. I kept working out/lifting throughout pregnancy and I have a healthy kid and a healthy pelvic floor. I credit my fitness for my easy postpartum recovery. As someone else said, you can be nice and try to educate or you can just tell those Karens to f right off

 

[tacarbon]

@quilly Even if you were deadlifting!! People need to mind their own business. I can’t imagine caring enough about what a stranger is doing and going up to them to comment on their business?? You do you mama!

 

[cuth6et]

@quilly The older generation smoked and drank during pregnancy. Didn't they also take coke in their soda?

 

[00sweetpea00]

@cuth6et Haha, great point. Excellent. Medical advancements change. Medical advice changes. The older ladies thought they were in the right.

 

[friendlyagnostic]

@cuth6et Came to say this.

 

[billyherman45]

@quilly This is why I’m glad that a. no one I know, knows about my pregnancy and b. We have a home gym.

Unsolicited advice, especially from a stranger, is one of my biggest pet peeves.