Just my critique of that day care Medium article that is always circulating this sub as it relates to nannies and familial care

[aiden92]

@monchito Agree about the politics. Profs in my grad program were in this area and one would frequently use these findings to form a republican agenda.

 

[sabresong]

@dkeefe I think a lot of the idea that toddlers are better with family comes down to an assumption that either caring for young children is necessarily completely unskilled work or a rejection of the value of ECE education, with both tied into demeaning of "women's work" in general).

Would my dad do better electrical work on my house than a licensed electrician? Would my mom provide better medical advice than a doctor or pharmacist? They'd both be able to direct more attention to it if I wanted- is that all that matters?

Similarly, is my parents' house safer than a licensed daycare? Is my MIL as skilled at watching children as my daughter's preschool teachers who are both getting masters in ECE? And it never seems to come up that a SAHP of a 2yo might also be caring for newborn, sleep deprived, and exhausted when I'm sure my the teachers in my kid's daycare must have more energy than me at 40 and surely more than the grandparents in their 70's.

Another factor that never appears in these considerations is screen time, which is known to be a negative. But a SAHP of 2+ kids pretty much always resorts to screen time during the day and a quality childcare center will not do any. There is also a known achievement gap with children from poor families who are "watched" by family who sit them in front of the tv all day- the gap that is minimized by universal pre-k.

So basically the assumption is just because someone is your family, that means they are good at watching children.

 

[david3r1]

@sabresong This. It’s completely idealistic to think parents or grandparents are always better than day care.
In some cases that may be true, but most grandparents I know use screens a lot.
I’ve had nannies, grandparents and daycare watching my kids and I prefer daycare by far. A good daycare will provide activities that are not easy to do at home, like painting, arts and crafts for example, that most grandparents are not comfortable doing in their house.
It all comes down to how involved the people watching the kids are. You can have a shitty daycare, or a wonderful nanny, an impatient grandparent, a tired mother….
Each person should choose what fits best in their reality. Those generalized “studies” only bring extra guilt in the mix

 

[sabresong]

@david3r1 Totally, my 3yo does a lot of activities at preschool/daycare and is always trying to get me to buy the Montessori “work” that she does there so we can do it at home too. But it’s totally impractical to replicate at home for space reasons if not money! And her teachers are so skilled at putting together the work and I guess teaching them how to do it!

 

[lutheranhess]

@sabresong Fantastic comment! Thanks for putting all that into words!

We've been very happy with group daycare for exactly these reasons

 

[moshia]

@sabresong With ratios so highly touted, it also seems unreasonable to assume that children being watched by their parents are receiving 1-1 care when only-children are a minority. A mom watching her three children of various age ranges and needs is doing a better job than an infant room teacher who is designing age appropriate activities for three infants?

 

[grace4nan]

@sabresong Amen. One of my favourite phrases is looking after children all day is a job, and it's not one I'm suited for. I never even considered the fact it's likely because I'm not educated in any aspect of it.

My kids teachers at daycare are all so great. My son is lucky to have them and so am I.

 

[bcs90]

@sabresong Well it’s a study it can’t dive into specific circumstances. It’s the best science can do for something so wildly variant (caretakers)

 

[monchito]

@bcs90 It’a not a study. It’s an article that tries to synthesize a number of studies. Even within a study, it is possible to dive into and even control for specific circumstances. You see this a lot in social science…”Controlling for X, Y, and Z, we have found that A is significantly higher than B.”

 

[david3r1]

@bcs90 Of course a study can dive into specific circumstances.
You can compare grandparents that use screens vs grandparents that don’t use screens. You can compare public vs private daycare. You can compare SAHM with a support network vs SAHM with no support whatsoever.

 

[edwinoel]

@bcs90 I think that it's really not the best that science can do since it's presenting such weak data without caveat.

It's concerning since it'll get posted here and other subs and users will take it at face value.

 

[ligeia]

@bcs90 It’s not a study.

 

[mcewan_15]

@dkeefe Nannies vs grandparent child care. Hmm it seems to me it would be difficult to come up with a more precise indicator of socioeconomic status.

 

[silentstrider31]

@dkeefe i'll be honest, it feels like i'm reading something entirely different from you.

But the way the article is phrased lacks nuance and tries to suggest that anything beside relative care is a detriment and I do not believe the science is there.

I don't see this at all, the article doesn't even really go into childcare other than daycare until more than halfway down the article, then they go into multiple case studies specifically about daycare and there's only one section comparing the non-daycare childcare options.

To me if feels like this is an article spending 90% of its time talking about how bad daycare is and with the last 10%, giving a cursory attempt to rank order the other options.

But you're seeing that this 10% doesn't contain much substance and conclude this article is pushing an agenda about relative care and they dont even have the sources to back that up when the reason that part is sketchy is because its an unimportant side point.

Sure it'd be great if the author actually got the side point correct but it feels weird to say you HATE the article while completely ignoring the main point and 90% of the content.

 

[crr]

@silentstrider31 I’d say the author shouldn’t have included the side point since it doesn’t have any support

 

[silentstrider31]

@crr One part of one part of their side point doesn't have any support.

 

[hunor999]

@silentstrider31 Yeah, I agree, I'm also not reading what OP sees. It sounds to me that OP has guilt lens - my 1st reaction to the medium article was also very strong, but I later understood that this is my own guilt because I'm not able to leave my child at home or with family. We all want to do the best for our children, and knowing that you might be doing something that is not optimal for them hurts. But I've realized I'd rather know this, and try to mitigate it in ways that I can.

Leaving this article herehttps://www.nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-uncomfortable-truth-about-daycare

 

[hunor999]

@monchito Personally I'm as far from conservative as possible. But where does the bias show in the article?

 

[onthemoveto]

@hunor999 It’s sprinkled throughout. For example: “Just last year, an important study found that the culturally liberal outlook of almost all social psychologists had biased the studies and conclusions they reached. It is likely that a similar outlook, and in particular an unwillingness to present findings that may interfere with women's progress in the workplace, has similarly harmed the work of developmental psychologists regarding daycare.”

That’s intentionally leading the reader without any evidence to back it up other than “an important study.”

 

[girlperson]

@dkeefe Thank you! My son is in full time daycare (at a center) and he is thriving. I know it’s anecdotal, but he has spent extended periods of time with grandparents and, while they love him, he is getting so much more out of his daycare. They taught him baby sign language and when we showed the grandparents, they were all so surprised “that babies can do that these days.” My son is learning, socializing and is in a safe space where there are regulations and people who love my son outside of our family.

Every time that article circulates, I feel like a bad mom.