texanbaptist90
New member
@ashe17 My son is the same way. I spoke, cried and sought help. Everyone told me that he might have ADHD. I took him for psychological evaluation and he was fine. No ADHD and what all I lost was, money and time. Life is back to square one.
More than anything this is an attitude issue. After hitting lowest phase in my career, in my marriage and relationship with him, what I have decided is, he is destined for his life. I am not responsible for his destiny.
I got into the trap of ‘fixing’ him because he was and still is unimaginably lazy and feels entitled. His laziness spilled over not just into chores, but his academics as well. At one point I was spending my 401k contributions on his tutoring hoping that he will change himself.
The fact is, we have to become an outside observer of our own emotions and become stronger inside. Some kids are a real challenge and they WILL take time. I spent on tutors, therapists, gadgets, extracurriculars just to motivate him. OMG, he is a drain on time, energy and money.
Now, I took a step back. To keep a check on his entitlement, I told him very clearly- you don’t show responsibility it’s your life at stake, not mine. This gave him a slight reality check. No rewards or consequences system works in my circumstances. So I try to be realistic and honest with feelings.
I know I didn’t help much, but remember his life is his destiny. We are just caregivers and should try to nurture emotional stability if possible. My son is 15.
More than anything this is an attitude issue. After hitting lowest phase in my career, in my marriage and relationship with him, what I have decided is, he is destined for his life. I am not responsible for his destiny.
I got into the trap of ‘fixing’ him because he was and still is unimaginably lazy and feels entitled. His laziness spilled over not just into chores, but his academics as well. At one point I was spending my 401k contributions on his tutoring hoping that he will change himself.
The fact is, we have to become an outside observer of our own emotions and become stronger inside. Some kids are a real challenge and they WILL take time. I spent on tutors, therapists, gadgets, extracurriculars just to motivate him. OMG, he is a drain on time, energy and money.
Now, I took a step back. To keep a check on his entitlement, I told him very clearly- you don’t show responsibility it’s your life at stake, not mine. This gave him a slight reality check. No rewards or consequences system works in my circumstances. So I try to be realistic and honest with feelings.
I know I didn’t help much, but remember his life is his destiny. We are just caregivers and should try to nurture emotional stability if possible. My son is 15.