@renegadelegion Make sure to only slash 3 so insurance won’t cover it 
Just found out husband of nearly 7 years has had an affair - we have a 3.5y/o and a 17m/o
- Thread starter renegadelegion
- Start date
-
- Tags
- moms
@renegadelegion Make sure you do it in the sidewall. Non repairable then. Also, a box cutter or similar with a new blade will do the trick. Just don’t run your hand along the cut as there can me metallic material there.
growinginchrist1
New member
@growinginchrist1 Hahahaha. I just work for a tire manufacturer and am intimately familiar with how they’re put together.
jesterdeal
New member
@renegadelegion Well it is your car too, so don’t go destroying your own property and making yourself appear deranged in court (you are not, he is an asshole… but still)
sunshinepj
New member
@renegadelegion delete this now
@renegadelegion I’d trade that shit in ASAP and get any car you’ve ever wanted (within practical limits.)
warriorofthelord
New member
@renegadelegion Screw driver does the same job and would be stronger for punctures. I mean....so I've heard.....
@alipius12 I second this comment. But I might just be crazy.
@renegadelegion I had not been cheated on. But I am a child whose father was a cheater. I believe the first time he cheated on my mother, I was 5 and my older brother was 6. They had been married for about 8 years. High school sweethearts. It all blew up because my mom decided to go to the bar he was spending all of his time at after work, about 40 minutes away from my childhood home. She was tired of him coming home drunk. Passing out on the toilet. Forgetting to pick me up from my dance classes. Forgetting my brother at football practice. She thought he was just an alcoholic. But his other woman was a bartender at this bar. I don’t know all the details, don’t know how long he had been sleeping with her. She attacked my mom with brass knuckles. My mom tried to make it work with my dad, she didn’t want to tear her family apart. My brother and I spent a lot of time cuddled up on the couch crying while mom and dad were yelling at each other in their room, throwing things ..the neighbors would even come and get us until our parents were quiet. They finally split when I was 8. He moved in with the bartender, so he was still sleeping with her all that time. Because of my father, I believe once a cheater always a cheater. More goes into why I believe that, but I’m not going to lay out all of my childhood trauma and daddy issues here on Reddit lol. The point is, staying for the kids does more harm than good. It is very hard to love and trust after that trust has been broken. Therapy is an option, but if you don’t think you can get over it and trust him ..don’t make yourself or your babies suffer trying to keep the family together.
@js123 Im so sorry this happened to you. My father also cheated on my mom and it was a complex situation. He would bring me along to hang out with the women and then tell me not to tell my mom. He was also abusive to my mom, but she didn’t leave him until he started to be abusive to me. I had anger at my mom for a while for staying as long as she did (til I was 13) but I was so grateful and proud of her that she did leave. It messed me up a lot with self-esteem and trust issues to see how easily someone could cheat. I look just like my mom and I think she’s a great woman so that also made me feel like no one would ever be loyal to me. Parents need to set and hold boundaries not just for themselves but for their children.
rafaelgarcia
New member
@renegadelegion Not me but my SIL. Her husband had an affair when their kids were 3, 7, and 8 (maybe earlier, too).
He was suffering from mental health issues. Refused to work on things. Ultimately he ended it, while SIL was actually trying to keep the family together despite the fact that it was him who cheated. Divorce wasn’t the outcome she wanted. She was scared because she was a SAHM. Terrified of money issues. Scared because she never imagined herself divorced. But he left her no choice so she pushed on. From my perspective, I was glad they split. He was treating her terribly. She carried the mental load of their household and relationship. He was a massive burden on her.
Now, one year on, she has a solid job that she likes and a new boyfriend who seems fantastic. She has some friction with her ex, like the kids having different rules at different houses, etc. but overall she is thriving and the kids are doing great.
He was suffering from mental health issues. Refused to work on things. Ultimately he ended it, while SIL was actually trying to keep the family together despite the fact that it was him who cheated. Divorce wasn’t the outcome she wanted. She was scared because she was a SAHM. Terrified of money issues. Scared because she never imagined herself divorced. But he left her no choice so she pushed on. From my perspective, I was glad they split. He was treating her terribly. She carried the mental load of their household and relationship. He was a massive burden on her.
Now, one year on, she has a solid job that she likes and a new boyfriend who seems fantastic. She has some friction with her ex, like the kids having different rules at different houses, etc. but overall she is thriving and the kids are doing great.
adviceplease
New member
@renegadelegion I have experience with this. We were together for eight years and we had two kids as well . I actually found out that I was being cheated on while I was pregnant with my second. I decided to stay because I truly did love him and of course I wanted to keep my family together and have both parents around for my kids. So we decided to make it work for about a year. And within that year I didn’t even recognize myself. I was so depressed so unhappy and to top it all off I was a stay at home mom, so I really did not have any money to leave in the first place. I couldn’t trust him when he left I would get anxious while he was at work. and I think the reason why I decided to leave for good says a lot about the situation. I left because I saw that he had taken his cologne to work with him and he has a physically demanding job, I didn’t even question it. I just packed up all my stuff and I left while he was at work, didn’t even warn him. It’s so hard to trust again after you get betrayed like that and I at a certain point you have to wonder if it’s even worth it to continue living like this. I will say I am so much happier now that I don’t have to deal with that even though I quite literally had to start my life all over again. I moved me and my two kids back in with my parents and had to quickly get a job and put my kids in daycare. I’m not telling you to leave him, but I will say you might find yourself in a better position, emotionally and mentally if you do. I was truly turned into a person that I was not while I was staying with him after finding out that he was cheating on me. I’m definitely taking this time to heal and unlearn my toxic traits to be the best version of myself, not only me and my kids and hopefully eventually my next partner, if I ever start dating again. Which I will say, I was also scared of no one wanting me because I have two kids and that really hasn’t been a problem for me at all.
renegadelegion
New member
@adviceplease Thank you for this. It’s simultaneously my worst outcome and my best outcome.,
ramonguitar
New member
@renegadelegion I guess the big question is, can you ever trust him not to do it again? This relationship may be over, will it always be at the back of your mind that he’s cheating with somebody else?
renegadelegion
New member
@ramonguitar This is the huge question, will the trust ever come back or will I be able to fully ever accept what he says. Right now I don’t know. I feel so stupid.
ramonguitar
New member
@renegadelegion Don’t feel stupid. You didn’t do anything wrong (he did) and I don’t blame you for wanting to try to keep your family together, either. Counseling may be a good idea to see if you can figure out whether you can trust him again. If you can’t, it may be better to cut your losses and move on than stay in a relationship where you are questioning his every move.
@renegadelegion Don’t feel stupid. Very, very few people go into a relationship/marriage thinking they’re going to get cheated on. You had an expectation of monogamy, and he broke that, not you. You trusted him, and trust isn’t stupid. It’s beautiful when it’s earned and honored.
I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry.
@renegadelegion It all depends on the amount of your husband is willing to do. It can take YEARS of intense work to get “past” this affair. My husband had a long EA when I was pregnant and after. He has not put the work in the repair trust (granted he has other major issues). We are 6 years down from d-day (term from infidelity subs) and I still cannot trust him and I’m starting think it will never get better because he doesn’t do the work needed to make it better.