Just found out husband of nearly 7 years has had an affair - we have a 3.5y/o and a 17m/o
- Thread starter renegadelegion
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- moms
@renegadelegion That sub is pretty intolerant of staying together but had great support n resources if you choose to leave r/asoneafterinfidelity is great if you’re considering reconciliation
@renegadelegion Good luck, I know it’s so painful right now, wishing a much happier future for you and your family 
marching4christ
New member
@renegadelegion My ex husband had an affair when I was pregnant. I didn’t find out about it until my little one was 13 months old. I squashed it and tried to convince myself it wasn’t that bad for many reasons. The main one being because I was desperate to keep my family together and have the life I thought I would have. It didn’t work out for us in that way.
Despite this, I’m now much happier and have a renewed idea of what I want life to look like for me and my little one who is now 6. I have my independence and I feel like I value myself. I was terrified when it actually ended: I didn’t know how I would cope financially, emotionally etc.
I understand why people stay and I wish that could have worked for me. But I now believe that wasn’t the life I was meant to have and I genuinely feel this is a better fit for me.
I’m not telling you what to do here- just offering up my experience to hopefully reassure you either way. The only advice I will give is to let yourself feel all of the emotions at some point. Not processing it for the horrible experience it is will not help in the long run. Good luck
Despite this, I’m now much happier and have a renewed idea of what I want life to look like for me and my little one who is now 6. I have my independence and I feel like I value myself. I was terrified when it actually ended: I didn’t know how I would cope financially, emotionally etc.
I understand why people stay and I wish that could have worked for me. But I now believe that wasn’t the life I was meant to have and I genuinely feel this is a better fit for me.
I’m not telling you what to do here- just offering up my experience to hopefully reassure you either way. The only advice I will give is to let yourself feel all of the emotions at some point. Not processing it for the horrible experience it is will not help in the long run. Good luck
renegadelegion
New member
@marching4christ Thank you for this. I appreciate hearing this, like.. even if I leave, I can come out better off mentally. I’m so sorry this happened to you too.
marching4christ
New member
@renegadelegion Thank you. That’s very lovely of you to say. I’m so sorry for you too. You absolutely can and will come out better no matter what you decide. Please take care of yourself and don’t be pressured into decisions and remember, you are allowed to change your mind. You should hold the reins now which is incredibly daunting but powerful too. Go after happiness for you and your children will be happy too.
katrina2017
New member
@marching4christ This is how I view it too. If he’s going to go out of his way to be unfaithful, maybe this isn’t the life that I thought it would become. Getting angry and vengeful is totally valid, but once you’re on the other side of that it helps to know that life will go on and can still be good (maybe better).
1/5 partners of pregnant women will cheat. This happens to a lot of people. It’s not right and I wish it were zero, but if it happens to you just know that you’re not alone.
1/5 partners of pregnant women will cheat. This happens to a lot of people. It’s not right and I wish it were zero, but if it happens to you just know that you’re not alone.
@renegadelegion Only you know if this is something you can live with forever. This might sound dramatic, but I would burn all of his belongings in the front yard.
renegadelegion
New member
@alipius12 Honestly may slash his tires, as this is apparently where some of the romance happened. Just need a good knife, in all seriousness.
gearedtogo
New member
@renegadelegion well minimum he's getting rid of the car.
sikreto123
New member
@renegadelegion Alexa play Carrie Underwood Before He Cheats
lalabelle62
New member
@sikreto123 Kerosene Miranda Lambert
noelenrik00200
New member
@renegadelegion Only slash 3 of the 4 tires so insurance won't pay to fix it.
@renegadelegion Sis like he was banging in the car?? Don’t leave an inch of fabric on the seats either. Destroy that mf 
jesterdeal
New member
@jesterdeal And a car his kids probably ride in. It’s a no from me. I feel for op
jesterdeal
New member
@jesterdeal I’d be making him buy a new car, new seats, then I’d set the mf car on fire. Twice 
portiaraylee
New member
@renegadelegion I know someone who used a turkey brine injector to spray water from canned tuna into his car. He was cheating on her repeatedly in said car and is where he got caught more than once. It was mid July, and the car had leather seats.
%EE%81%80kingjazzblue%EE%81%81
New member
@portiaraylee This is genius!