@sofie My husband hasn’t really been supportive with me wanting to set up a little nursery corner in our room. We’ve got piles of laundry and cat hair everywhere and it’s just not a big deal to him.
I work 8-9 hours a day, 7 days a week while he’s unemployed (and I can’t take a leave because we’re understaffed) so it’s really difficult for me to take care of setting up the nursery. I feel like it’s a reflection of how unprepared I am to be a mother.
I know the baby wont know or care about how the nursery looks but just seeing the piles of baby stuff still in their boxes and the chaos of our room just makes me feel like a total failure. I’m due pretty much any day now, too.
@derek23 I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. If you’re able to charge him with specific tasks, that might be helpful (tomorrow, I need you to unpack these boxes and put them here). But as for you, maybe try to reframe your mindset - you’re working 7 days a week to better prepare and support your baby and that is a huge accomplishment! It speaks volumes about your dedication to motherhood and your love for your child. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, but from where I’m standing, it sounds like you’re doing more than most people are, good job!
@sofie My OB literally told me this yesterday - that don’t let consumerism get you, all you need is diapers, wipes, and a bassinet. I am 33 weeks and it made me feel much better!!
@sofie Lol … with my first her room wasn’t setup until she was 5 months old and ready to go in there. With my second that I’m pregnant with now, he’ll get a corner in my room until he has to room share with his sister. I laugh when I see nurseries… as beautiful as they are, it’s probably the nicest it will ever look on the picture ever again if it’s even used at all lol.
@sofie When we had our first baby we were renting a house and the landlord didn't want us to do too much. It was cute, but I didn't love it. Now we have a house of our own and I want to go all out with the nursery. It's so much work and he's not even going to use it for awhile (hopefully...our daughter moved into her nursery early because she was such a light sleeper). And my daughter (now 3) is insisting that her brother is going to sleep in her room, so the nursery might just become a play room until he's older. It's all overwhelming, so I'm just going to finish the new floor and call it good enough until he's older.
@sofie We don’t have a nursery, she has a small set up in our bedroom and the rest of her things throughout our apartment. But my husband is still WFH with no sign of returning and needs an office more than she will need a whole room. (Would be quite cross if I’m trying to sleep and he’s handling an issue in the middle of the night on the phone/computer)
My MIL tried to shame me a bit for not having a room for her and it’s so frustrating. This is just the season of life we are in. When she’s ready to be in her own we will have it for her, but until then things are fine as they are.
@sofie Thank you. My baby is 19 months and still doesn’t have a nursery. He came early (29 weeks) and we had very little prepared, having just moved and in the planning stages with a major construction project. As soon as he got out of the NICU, covid happened, which halted the construction project, and the price of lumber has that on pause still. We still live in the downstairs of my house only and Theo sleeps with us. We figured at this point we will shoot for his own bedroom by his second birthday…
I do get sad about it at times, I dreamt about that nursery for years and years, and although I do want more children I don’t know if I will be lucky enough to conceive again. But at the end of the day, having a nursery makes no difference to Theo’s happiness and health, and that’s all that really matters. Life doesn’t always go as planned and having a baby has hammered that point home even more for me.
@santosrodolfo28 A bedroom for a happy little 2 year old will be just as fun a place to design and enjoy, and honestly a newborn doesn't appreciate the work you put in, but a 2 year old probably will!!
@sofie Our son is 17 months old, and has been in his room since 2 months old. So it gets a ton of use, but it is purely functional. It has not been painted, there's no decals or pictures or stuff on the walls. I had plans but we never got around to it.
@inheretic Would you mind expanding on your sleep situation? I feel like I see more commonly that people keep their babies in their own room for longer citing safe sleep, but I do see others that choose to move them to their nursery younger. How did you guys make the decision?
@sofie So after doing research we decided the benefits far outweighed the minimal risk.
Our son was such a noisy sleeper, so I never got any sleep with him in the room, and we likely intervened too soon thinking he was awake when he was not. Basically noone was getting enough sleep and it was wearing on us all so much. I would find myself often engaging in unsafe sleep practices just to get him and me some sleep. Not to mention he had colic so his waking hours were already tough, adding the sleep deprivation was really rough.
Putting him in his room we all slept better, and I found my PPA/PPD issues improved massively. He was much safer in his crib in his own room, and the waking hours were more bearable too.
@sofie Thank you. I'm low key freaking out about the nursery, or lack thereof. My mom is getting cancer treatment and staying with us for a while, but this means that she is staying in what would've been the nursery. I'm sad about not being able to nest, sad about my mom, and worried about the logistics of how everything is going to work in a few months' time.
@sofie This! My "nursery" is the corner of my master bedroom. I'll decorate a little but it's going to be very utilitarian. He's gonna grow up so fast it will need to change fast too, so I don't want to do anything too over the top decorations wise.
@sofie I have a 7 week old and still haven’t set up her nursery. I didn’t see the point when she’s going to room share with us for the first year. Have a bassinet and somewhere to change the baby and you’re good to go
@sofie To anyone wondering what it’s like on the other side, I have a 3 year old and and 2 month old. I hardly ever used any kind of nursery. It’s a total rip
