@oddduck123 For the SaHW part it was interesting. I had to have a TON of faith in my husband, it was hard and frankly only bc of the style of work contract did I agree to the ‘ get married and move to a Muslim based country’ . We had both been married and divorced previously, and after about a year of dating were in no rush to do it again, but for the work opportunity did it.
Adapting to not having a job was harder than I thought. I jumped into hobbies and eventually started making 6-14 loaves of sourdough and baked goods just to keep busy.
As far as our son, I blame that on Covid
. We couldn’t travel. The borders were closed for over 300 days and we couldn’t do weekend trips to Europe and Asia like we had planned. My iud started slipping and had to be removed, so we moved up our plans for children.
Pregnancy and the early baby stage wasn’t fun. I spent the first 2 trimesters in Saudi, and my ob was not reliable. I leaned on my Reddit bump group and 2 friends ALOT. We flew home to drop me off at my dad’s for the last of my pregnancy. Our insurance would cover 100% of the birth of if I had him in the USA, ( death benefits are much lower if I was home vs in Saudi). My son was born early bc I was an adult with so supervision, drank club soda due to water aversion, and developed pre eclampsia. Son was born at 38,3 by induction and it went great.
My sister had warned us about tongue ties and at 2 days old told us that my sons was severe and should get it checked out at the dentists office she works at. It was a bad experience due to the staff, and caused marital issues for us. After talking with our pediatrician and Lactation consultant, I forced the issue bc I having the procedure in Saudi wasn’t an option, and I wanted my husbands support before he flew back to work.
Family was strained due to the fact that my dad, who I was living with is an alcoholic and was trying to convince me to switch to keto before and after my son was born. I had no help and was doing it alone. 4-5 appointment a week and no sleep. Our friends stopped talking to me the day my husband flew back to work. I moved to stay with my mom, but she’s a workaholic and my stoner brother lives with her. So I was sharing a bed with my mom, then moving to the couch after the overnight feed. I asked my mom to watch my son once, he was 3 months old and I needed to go to the dentist. She immediately handed him over to my brother who was high. I didn’t sleep for 3 days while making plans to fly to my husbands parents in another state.
That went well, they had 2 spare rooms and I started to settle into parenthood. Baby’s passport came in at 5.5 months and we flew back to Saudi. Eventually hired a nanny 2 mornings a week so I could have any break. We had no village, as the work colleges ignored us unless told to be nice, so we hired one.
We moved back to the USA permanently when my son was 16/18 months and my mom and sister moved states away 4 months later. It has taken almost 2 years for us to feel settled back home. Finding routines, and making friends is HARD. Still isn’t amazing , but it’s our life.
Being flexible has been the biggest bonus. Our general plan is to have a 2nd child and when all are in school then revisit if I want to go back to work. Right now I make sure everyone has food, clean clothes, and there’s no hidden food under the cushions. The benefit of being able to support my family is amazing, even if I feel that the coat doesn’t fit right some days. Out of the options this is what happened, and I’d prefer not to have to work and be pregnant at the same time , so any thoughts of the workplace will have to wait till we finish having kids.
Adapting to not having a job was harder than I thought. I jumped into hobbies and eventually started making 6-14 loaves of sourdough and baked goods just to keep busy.
As far as our son, I blame that on Covid
. We couldn’t travel. The borders were closed for over 300 days and we couldn’t do weekend trips to Europe and Asia like we had planned. My iud started slipping and had to be removed, so we moved up our plans for children. Pregnancy and the early baby stage wasn’t fun. I spent the first 2 trimesters in Saudi, and my ob was not reliable. I leaned on my Reddit bump group and 2 friends ALOT. We flew home to drop me off at my dad’s for the last of my pregnancy. Our insurance would cover 100% of the birth of if I had him in the USA, ( death benefits are much lower if I was home vs in Saudi). My son was born early bc I was an adult with so supervision, drank club soda due to water aversion, and developed pre eclampsia. Son was born at 38,3 by induction and it went great.
My sister had warned us about tongue ties and at 2 days old told us that my sons was severe and should get it checked out at the dentists office she works at. It was a bad experience due to the staff, and caused marital issues for us. After talking with our pediatrician and Lactation consultant, I forced the issue bc I having the procedure in Saudi wasn’t an option, and I wanted my husbands support before he flew back to work.
Family was strained due to the fact that my dad, who I was living with is an alcoholic and was trying to convince me to switch to keto before and after my son was born. I had no help and was doing it alone. 4-5 appointment a week and no sleep. Our friends stopped talking to me the day my husband flew back to work. I moved to stay with my mom, but she’s a workaholic and my stoner brother lives with her. So I was sharing a bed with my mom, then moving to the couch after the overnight feed. I asked my mom to watch my son once, he was 3 months old and I needed to go to the dentist. She immediately handed him over to my brother who was high. I didn’t sleep for 3 days while making plans to fly to my husbands parents in another state.
That went well, they had 2 spare rooms and I started to settle into parenthood. Baby’s passport came in at 5.5 months and we flew back to Saudi. Eventually hired a nanny 2 mornings a week so I could have any break. We had no village, as the work colleges ignored us unless told to be nice, so we hired one.
We moved back to the USA permanently when my son was 16/18 months and my mom and sister moved states away 4 months later. It has taken almost 2 years for us to feel settled back home. Finding routines, and making friends is HARD. Still isn’t amazing , but it’s our life.
Being flexible has been the biggest bonus. Our general plan is to have a 2nd child and when all are in school then revisit if I want to go back to work. Right now I make sure everyone has food, clean clothes, and there’s no hidden food under the cushions. The benefit of being able to support my family is amazing, even if I feel that the coat doesn’t fit right some days. Out of the options this is what happened, and I’d prefer not to have to work and be pregnant at the same time , so any thoughts of the workplace will have to wait till we finish having kids.