i hate when people say “i wish i have/had twins”

diddle

New member
my biggest pet peeve is when i’m out and about with my twins (didi boys, 3 mo) and strangers say

“oh my goodness! i wish i had twins. you’re so blessed.”

do not get me wrong, i am very happy with my life now. but when my boys were first born, that first month i legitimately thought i ruined my life. for context, they’re my first children, conceived on the depo shot, and im 20, in medical school.

my pregnancy was filled with anxiety from all the high risk appointments, 2x a week at one point. i was always in the ER because i have a blood disorder similar to sickle cell and needed weekly iron transfusions. i would never ever wish that anxiety onto a woman, not knowing if your body will fail you or your children.

and then recovering from a c-section while getting absolutely no sleep. (i thought i would die from exhaustion, that’s not even an exaggeration. i was contemplating admitting myself to get mental health care at one point in the early weeks.) :/

then my twin A was hospitalized while twin B was not. i saw twin B for 45 minutes a day for a few weeks, having to lie and say he was breast fed so the hospital would let him into his brothers inpatient room. (do not get me started on how hospitals are not understanding of twin parents, and how certain rules literally make 0 sense)

we finally have a sense of normal and both babies are healthy, eating well and out of the hospital. but please do not tell me you wish you had twins. they’re not novelty items. they’re the hardest thing i’ve done in my life, but i am beyond blessed to have been gifted with the opportunity to have twins.
 
@diddle I feel like this might be somewhat unpopular (or maybe just not seen as often on this sub) but I feel incredibly lucky to have twins, I have always wanted them. Don’t get me wrong, newborn time was difficult but I totally get what people mean when they say they wish they had twins because that was once me and I just feel like I got super lucky.
 
@katrina2017 I’m so glad I had twins. I am so glad I don’t have to go through a singleton pregnancy and birth twice to have two kids. I absolutely understand the desire to have multiples.
 
@katrina2017 Yes I feel so lucky too because I wanted two kids and dreaded losing my freedom during pregnancy 2x.. going through the newborn phase 2x... I often call baby B my lucky charm. My sister had a horrendous first pregnancy but really wants #2 and is pregnant again. I feel lucky even with my intense MoDi twin pregnancy.
 
@katrina2017 I feel this way too, I feel lucky we had twins, even tho I didnt wished for twins and I was so worried during pregnancy, but at the same time I felt blessed.
 
@katrina2017 i feel now i’m able to say that i am blessed to have my twins. i feel super accomplished with the fact they were born at 38 weeks, 6lbs and 5lbs 11oz. i think i sometimes let the difficult times eat me up. their smiles are definitely the bandaid for the rough days. everyday gets a little easier.
 
@katrina2017 I didn’t WANT them but I had a funny feeling all my life about having them. They run in my family sporadically so I always joked that I might have them. Boom, first pregnancy.
 
@katrina2017 My twins aren’t here yet but I’ve literally always wanted twins. I already have two kids so I’m aware it’ll be absolute chaos and exhausting but I couldn’t be more thrilled. It hurts my heart when people ask if I was upset when I saw both of them on the screen when they hear it’s twins, like no I was straight thrilled.
 
@susannahlily i wasn’t upset that they were twins. never. i think maybe my post is missing the concept i was trying to make; my fault. when i saw the twins on the screen for the first time i actually couldn’t help but laugh 😅 nerves LOL
 
@diddle I think it’s cute lol. Naive, but cute. I’d rather those comments than the “good luck”, “poor you”, or “you’re doomed” ones.
 
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