i hate when people say “i wish i have/had twins”

[leaviathan]

@diddle Op you are superwoman! So much respect!

 

[msgtcjl]

@diddle I always ask them why, and then tell them I have a spare set if they want. That usually shuts them up

 

[cevans07]

@diddle I get pissed by the "I always wanted twins but then was so grateful I didn't!" ...like how do they expect me to respond to that? People say stupid shit to twin moms

 

[5dmkiii]

@diddle I vaguely wanted twins and always wondered. But I was happy with my 2 daughters ~2yrs apart, and teenaged stepson. I'd accepted I was done having kids and moving on to my next phase.
Never did I expect to end up with b/g twins on the patch birth control.

I'm happy and blessed...but the first 4 months or more absolutely SUCKED and I feel most, almost all the same as you op. I just didn't have a blood disorder. Though I hemmoraged after surgery-so a fight either way perhaps?

Even now at times twins is just a tsunami wave of extra stress when I'm at my wits end

 

[deathdefeated]

@diddle I have twins, couldn’t imagine not having them. My biggest pet peeve is hearing sob stories about how hard people had it. Sounds like everything turned out good. Focus on that and say thank you.

 

[kevinpet]

@diddle I’m right there with you… I delivered our b/g twins in January and when people realize they’re twins and it’s a boy and girl, I get the “you’re so lucky! a boy and girl!!! what a blessing. now you’re done having kids, huh?” And like you said, don’t get me wrong one bit, we are very lucky and blessed to have boy/girl twins but it is SO hard. I became preeclamptic at 34w and they were delivered prematurely via emergency csection. they were rushed to the NICU because they weren’t breathing. this was a shock to me because I also was going to appts 2x/week when pregnant with them and they were completely healthy. my recovery was awful, I ended up having to go back twice to be seen. then once we get home, 3 weeks later we’re back at the ED cause my daughter is projectile vomiting after every feed and my son could hardly breathe. both get admitted and my daughter ends up having pyloric stenosis and has surgery and my son was being monitored on oxygen. they diagnosed him with bronchiolitis even though he tested negative on the respiratory virus panel and none of us were sick. they’re discharged after 2 days and a week later, we’re back at the ED because my son is still retracting and has an increase work of breathing. they admit him again, give him oxygen, and discharged him after 1.5 days, saying it’s bronchiolitis after another negative respiratory virus panel. a week later, we’re back because he’s still having retractions, poor guy was struggling to breathe on his own. he was then admitted for 2 weeks where they did so much testing to discover he’s in respiratory failure and diagnosed him with interstitial lung disease. my husband almost lost his job because he stayed home with twin sister while I stayed at the hospital. now he’s home on oxygen 24/7, meds, chest PT, and appointments almost every week but life has surprisingly calmed down and I am finally able to enjoy them. sometimes I feel like I was “robbed” from that “newborn bliss” stage everyone talks about.

although I can’t relate to your experience completely, I can say I understand you and hear you. having twins is tough when other challenges arise, plus navigating postpartum (I can’t believe I survived the newborn stage tbh). but like I said, don’t get me wrong, I love these babies with every fiber of my being and yes, we’re so lucky, but the life of multiples is challenging and I don’t think people who don’t have multiples realize that. I think the reason it bothers me is because people see the two babies and yes, they’re so cute and it’s a blessing, but they don’t give recognition to how challenging it is.

 

[chrisola]

@diddle I never wanted twins- to be honest, I never thought I would be a good twin mom. I had a really hard time wrapping my head that we were having twins my entire pregnancy-- now, I can't imagine it any other way. I feel so lucky, and my husband and I often look at each other in complete disbelief that 1) we have identical twins 2) we survived newborn stage without a mental breakdown 3) that we made these little guys.

No pregnancy is a guarantee, so I am so grateful that we were given such a special and surprising gift!

 

[nikka]

@diddle And I hate being a twin

 

[maylicia]

@diddle I’m impressed you’re in medical school at 20 . And having twins on top of it - damn! I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have finished law school (which I was certainly not in at 20) if I’d had my twins while enrolled. Good for you

 

[diddle]

@maylicia not sure why this is downvoted, thank you. i thankfully qualify for childcare subsidy. i’m unmarried to their father, he provides for them financially but isn’t on “child support” so in the eyes of the law; i’m a student, with twins and no help. i pay $1 a week for childcare due to my income. score!

 

[maylicia]

@diddle No clue why I would get down voted . I’m genuinely in awe that you’re pulling it all off and am applauding you!

I also hate it when people tell me they wish they had twins or hope they do. It’s risky, expensive, and for me personally, was a life-threatening pregnancy and delivery. The first year is a killer. I am thrilled with my babies and love them, but didn’t wish for this (and wouldn’t for anyone else).

 

[jerseyhabibi]

@diddle OP please don’t get offended. I had a singleton pregnancy. This was my first pregnancy and it was high risk. I ended up with severe preeclampsia with HELLP syndrome and almost died. I gave birth at 28 weeks. She was a micro preemie and fought for her life at the NICU for over 10 weeks. The last month of my pregnancy is traumatizing and in fact so is my labor and delivery. NICU itself was hard and traumatizing. I wish and want another baby. I know I can’t and won’t get pregnant again after this. I wish I had twins so my daughter could have a sibling.

That’s just my POV.

 

[jasonstawnos]

@diddle I look them dead in the eyes and tell them my life is hell and I wouldn’t wish twins on my worst enemy