i hate when people say “i wish i have/had twins”
- Thread starter diddle
- Start date
andreworknay
New member
@rushamania Ahah, same. I've commented multiple times about this, but my go to is usually "No, you don't. You think you do, but you don't".
gentlebutfirm
New member
@gentlebutfirm This is the best way to put it. It’s the Hollywood version of twins that people are wanting. It’s not Hollywood. I LOVE my boys with all my being and I do not regret for a second having them. However, there’s nothing easy about it. I also hate when people would tell me I wish I had twins, because I also had a very difficult pregnancy. I know they don’t mean any malice though. So I usually respond with “no you don’t” and a chuckle or just a chuckle and nothing else. 
gentlebutfirm
New member
@teaberry For sure there are Hollywood moments and plenty of them. But in between can be a lot of stress and heartache. I have accepted that my twins just by existing bring joy to people who don't know us or them. And that's pretty cool. So I let them enjoy their little moment in the street becuase why not.
@diddle I feel similarly, your feelings are valid. I was actually surprised at the responses you’ve gotten, but reflecting on when I have shared similar feelings in the past and the response I get…I’m not.
It’s okay to not like strangers making unwarranted comments, which I believe is the point you’re making. I also dislike when strangers make unwarranted comments. Don’t let anyone convince or guilt you into feeling opposite.
It’s okay to not like strangers making unwarranted comments, which I believe is the point you’re making. I also dislike when strangers make unwarranted comments. Don’t let anyone convince or guilt you into feeling opposite.
mariskawisse95
New member
@diddle Twins are enchanting to people so I get it. Heck I was enchanted before too. I have two little besties and I wouldn’t change it for anything but it’s frigging hard sometimes and we didn’t even have to deal with any pregnancy issues or nicu time. I think sometimes it can rub the wrong way because the outside world doesn’t get the hard side we’ve experienced and all the stress that comes with it.
onthisrock
New member
inconditusunus
New member
@diddle I feel the same way and these are my second (and third) kid(s). I love my babies but my oldest is 4 years older and I was just getting into the swing of a fully potty-trained and sleeping through the night kid with a predictable schedule. My husband and I had just bought a house and the month after we moved in, boom, we got pregnant. We didn't get to enjoy our house or really make it our home yet because I was too sick during the pregnancy. I feel like I missed out on months of older kid's life too. But I love all of my kids fiercely. I'm happy they are here
@diddle People are just trying to be nice. I understand what you mean though because I mean having two at a time? It’s mind blowing and the twins will have a built in friend that they grew up with since conception 
it’s fun for people and for us it is exhausting but this too shall pass and when you see other mamas with twins you will be in awe because it’s so fun seeing double.
it’s fun for people and for us it is exhausting but this too shall pass and when you see other mamas with twins you will be in awe because it’s so fun seeing double.princeadewale
New member
@diddle Our boys are 2. NOW I feel really lucky to have twins but the pregnancy was terrible, the birth and nicu stay was traumatic, and the newborn stage was just hell. I remember someone saying to me how they wanted twins and I replied with “if you had them you would change your mind” probably not my best response.
Now I feel blessed, but I would never want to go back through it again!
Now I feel blessed, but I would never want to go back through it again!
@diddle I don't regret twins at all. However, the one thing I do wish, is that I could expand our time to the equivalent of having two separate kids. We have gone through hell and back again and I still don't regret it.
However, I don't like how time passes so fast but yet they both had to share the same attention, I don't like that my wife and I had the same rules for leave at birth as if we just had a standard pregnancy. I don't like that people address our children as "the twins" when they are still separate individuals.
And most of all, I don't like people who say they had close pregnancies and "that's basically the same, right !?"
However, I don't like how time passes so fast but yet they both had to share the same attention, I don't like that my wife and I had the same rules for leave at birth as if we just had a standard pregnancy. I don't like that people address our children as "the twins" when they are still separate individuals.
And most of all, I don't like people who say they had close pregnancies and "that's basically the same, right !?"
joedetroit
New member
@diddle Many people say they wish they had things, they don’t actually want. If someone tells you that (about anything you own), they’re trying to give you a compliment.
“Wow, I wish I had curly hair like yours!” says the stranger who isn’t a slave to the humidity each day, that I have to deal with.
Our babies are 6 weeks old and I at times regret my decision to have more children. I have one teenager, and two adult children from my previous marriage.
I hear a lot of comments now such as “Better you than me!” or “I wouldn’t want kids in the world we have now.” Sister….you can’t win!
But I’ve been a mom long enough to know that some days having kids feels like a blessing, other times a curse, or the feeling can yo yo back and forth throughout the day ha ha ha.
Eventually, they all move out though, and you are thankful for all of the time you had with them, even the hard years.
And hey, you never know….you may find yourself 20 years down the road from now, bumping into a young mom with twins and saying “Oh I wish I had twin babies again!” ; ) NOT!
“Wow, I wish I had curly hair like yours!” says the stranger who isn’t a slave to the humidity each day, that I have to deal with.
Our babies are 6 weeks old and I at times regret my decision to have more children. I have one teenager, and two adult children from my previous marriage.
I hear a lot of comments now such as “Better you than me!” or “I wouldn’t want kids in the world we have now.” Sister….you can’t win!
But I’ve been a mom long enough to know that some days having kids feels like a blessing, other times a curse, or the feeling can yo yo back and forth throughout the day ha ha ha.
Eventually, they all move out though, and you are thankful for all of the time you had with them, even the hard years.
And hey, you never know….you may find yourself 20 years down the road from now, bumping into a young mom with twins and saying “Oh I wish I had twin babies again!” ; ) NOT!
simonymagus
New member
@diddle I second the hospital thing. My twin B went straight to NICU after birth because even though they were 37 weeks, she only weighed 3lb 12oz. Her twin brother weighed 5lb 15oz so he got to stay in our room and then come home with us. We have a 2.5 year old at home too so we were back and forth to the hospital trying to see all our kids. They wouldn't let either of them into NICU.