@katrina2017 Yes, so there’s options what kind of jobs you can accept. Merchandising has been fun, fixing the displays, setting out whatever stock is in the back and then submitting before and after pics.
You can do mystery shopping where you get reimbursed and fill out a survey about the place.
Edited to add: I just took my toddler with me and we did a mystery shop at a truck stop by our house and had lunch. I just kept her out of the pictures so it was a win win lol
@colby1122 Where I live in the USA schools are desperate for aides. Part-time jobs helping students in various class settings. Generally any required training is provided after hiring. Maybe something to look into?
@chole1 I get this feeling. Like, I respect anyone who becomes a stay at home parent. But I think we can only appreciate them because we go through it. We have so many people in society who hasn’t gone through it and are just assholes ready to tell us how it “should” be. And even know we know we’re valuable to our family, it’s a little bit of a knock to the self esteem when so many people speak/post negative opinions. Especially when we know how much work we are putting in and just how mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted we are because of our commitment.
I'm finding the idea of trying to fit the school schedule hard. This week they got off early yesterday and home today. They'll be home next Friday. How would I explain this to an employer?
@daryle Being a SAHM and married to a doctor, I feel like I'm hit with a double whammy. It's like everyone just forgets that I supported us both while he went through medical school while putting myself through nursing school, so you know.. I'm a licensed professional too
@19ana89 My wife is a physician and I worked my ass off to support our family during her training. The best part in my situation however is that the mother tends to be far more interested in parenting and her children than the average dad.
@19ana89 I'm the exact same. I'm an RN who supported us all through medical school and residency. My oldest was 1.5 and I was pregnant with #2 when my husband finished residency and got his first high earning job (but still with a lot of medical school debt). I put my son in daycare to work part-time up until that point because we still needed the income. Everyone forgets that. None of my extended family remembers that I supported us and that I juggled it all while my oldest was a baby.
I graduated summa cum laude from my nursing program and worked in high intensity environments, ending up in the Cardiac Cath Lab where I pulled 20+ hour shifts at times and took overnight call right up until I delivered my son at 36 weeks. I literally was at work and felt some leaking that I thought might be the beginning of my water breaking, but it wasn't bad so I finished my shift and then walked over to L&D and was admitted for delivery. And yet, my extended family on husband's side feels the need to mention "he works so hard, his job is stressful" to me sometimes like I don't have a clue? His job is hard and stressful, and he works rotating shifts so the hours are difficult.... But I did that too for a long time. No one remembers.
This morning when talking about what she wants to be, my 4 year old daughter said, "girls don't work." So yeah I'm working on that with her right now. To my knowledge no one has ever said that to her, but I'm always trying to be aware of the lessons she's learning from what she sees happening in our house.
@19ana89 Ugh that's terrible. I can only imagine the comments you get. I'm not married to no doctor that's for sure but I did spend four years of my life abroad getting my degree to become a translator so I usually get the opposite of basically why am I wasting my potential. And I really feel that clearly if I sacrificed my dream career for this it must be pretty important to our family so why do I even need to explain myself. But people just don't get it.
@denise1961 I've learned to brush off a lot of the comments like "oh it must be so nice to be married to a doctor" "you're so lucky" etc. They just see the nice house and cars.. they don't see my husband leaving early in the morning and not coming back until later in the evening, the debt from school, or our daughter waking up and asking where daddy is every day of the week.
@19ana89 Yeah my husband is an engineer, so a lot less school, but we had our daughter while he was still in school. I worked full time and did most of the childcare and housework while he was in school because we were very focused on him doing well so he could get a good job. It was a few years of hell for us in a lot of ways. It was so hard. I remember after his graduation we were walking to the car and I was crying and he was laughing. We were both so relieved it was over. The work paid off. I always wanted to be a SAHM and we worked hard to get where we are now. But dang it was rough.
@19ana89 I feel this so hard. We met when he was midway through residency but I have a degree and credentials. I’m no dummy. My husband helps run a family practice and works in some capacity 7 days a week. My son already has less time with his dad than we’d like - I want him to at least have his mom.
@19ana89 Lawfirm partner wife here. Also was an SLP for over a decade before having my son right before Covid. My husband actually asked me to consider quitting because we didn’t trust Covid precautions at public schools with an infant at home. I’m so fortunate because he would be the first person to defend the work I do in the home with our son. I also joke that if he divorces me, I’ll just start charging him for what I do and put him in the poor house.
I lean hard into the gold digger/trophy wife talk because I’m exhausted, pregnant, and plus size. I’ve literally told a snobby dad at my previous job (who though public school employees were his personal servants), “I’m a trophy wife. Can’t you tell??”
@19ana89 Definitely feeling this…I passed two different state bars and worked as an attorney supporting him during his residency and now I want to be there for my son but THERE’S SO MUCH JUDGMENT. Is it wrong that we are fortunate enough to have a parent at home to be there during sick days and school breaks, someone to attend concerts and games and my husband can work his long hours and high stress job without worrying who’s taking care of our young son?
@daryle I’m a SAHD, and I often get treated like a total loser/gold digger although I do 95% of the kid stuff and housework. My wife is great at her work and very successful, and loves what she does, but needs extra help for it to be as such. That’s where I come in, but since it doesn’t look like what is expected from many fathers, I often get little nasty comments.
@choosehappiness Things are changing. I'm fortunate that my family is supportive even if they do ask targeted questions on occasion. I suspect they would ask if it were there opposite way around. The thing I really noticed about being a SAHD is that older men have talked with me about wishing they had spent more time with their kids. They followed this by mentioning they were glad younger guys have the option to be with their kids more. These conversations mostly happened before COVID when I went out grocery shopping with the kids more often. Little words of encouragement really make a difference and those sometimes still happen. I live in a suburb that was rural two generations ago and still has much of the chat with strangers mindset. Enjoy your time with your kids!
I’ve literally told a snobby dad at my previous job (who though public school employees were his personal servants), “I’m a trophy wife. Can’t you tell??”
