I had forgotten how different I am from other parents

[marycris]

I recently had a baby. She is 5 weeks old today. She’s so amazing and I love her so much. I also have Bigs, ages 21,19,
17. Whom I diligently and successfully AP parented them to now. Yes, your babies will still want them cuddles from an attached mama as bigs. They still love getting snuggles with mom on vacation in with blankets lol Old habits die hard I was on the peanut app for my bump group and it was all fine till babies started arriving. Women talking about leaving their newborn to CIO when they are less than 3 weeks old bc they “couldn’t figure out” what they needed. Talk of sleep training. Of “Velcro babies” among other horrifying things to hear of mothers of e brand new babies. I tried to stick around and give some good advice but the pain and tears that came from reading their disconnected posts just lead me to deactivate and delete the app. There’s no use in reading things that upset me. How dare those mothers bc they try 3 things leave their brand new tiny scared baby to cry alone. Talks about sleep training… disgusting. I just can’t. I’m glad I left. I’m glad for this group. I’m glad to remember how different I parent then other parents and it’s okay to not be around those type of parents. I had completely forgotten. This is just a rant. So glad to have this group who is attentive to their little babies. AP hugs for you all

 

[ghancock1210]

@marycris People ask me all the time about baby’s sleep schedules, feeding, CIO, etc., and I honestly couldn’t tell you. The babies sleep when they’re tired, eat when hungry, are pretty much on me most of the time. I love it. We know from Bigs that this time is over before we are ready.

 

[maryj94]

@ghancock1210 I have the exact same response, and am often faced with judgement.

*How dare I not have a sleep schedule?!

Hey, I’m old and still don’t like sticking to a schedule, how on earth could I expect my little man to be more strictly scheduled than I am!?

*have you tried CIO to get him to sleep better?!

Nope! I had a baby to care for him 24/7, not 12/7.

*he’s just tricking you into always holding him!

Good try… but research has proven that babies’ brains aren’t developed enough to know how to manipulate you.

 

[ghancock1210]

@maryj94 “He’s tricking you…”

Hahahah well I guess he knows how to push my buttons! Hahahaha

 

[lovethechrist]

@ghancock1210 I always was like nahhh I consent, we both love the snuggles equally!

 

[kyeshamblin]

@ghancock1210 My husband and I talk about this every once in awhile. Someday will be the last cuddle, the last time they hold your hand or ask to be picked up. It sure makes those endless nights at bedtime easier when you think of it that way.

 

[anthonycon3131]

@kyeshamblin Aaaaand I cried.

 

[marycris]

@ghancock1210 Exactly !!! This baby time will be over sooner than we know it. The sleep deprivation won’t mean anything as much it as means to our babies to be responsive.

 

[stevenmcg2005]

@marycris When my 9 month old was only weeks old my mom was trying to get me to just put her down and walk away right after she would fall asleep but when I did that a few times she would immediately wake up. I came to the conclusion that my tiny bubs wanted to be held and slept the best when she was on my chest and feeding often. My mom was horrified that I didn't agree to just leave my bubs alone and was giving her contact naps. As she got older and older the naps on the chest started to go away and I would take a picture every time she did it because I knew that any day now she wasn't going to do it. The one day she fell asleep while nursing and gently pushed me away, asking to be put down. And just like that the contact naps on the chest, falling asleep while laying her head on my shoulder, nuzzling her head to fit under my chin were over. We still co-sleep and my husband and I enjoy it because we know that soon enough it will be over and she will be on her own. But for now we cherish her snuggling up to either one of us at night (she sleeps in the middle of us). She will roll to my husband and snuggle his arm or roll to me and dream nurse. It goes by so fast and we want to savor every moment and we are raising a healthy, child with healthy attachment. You can never love a baby too much or show it too much love.

 

[jslade]

@marycris I didn’t realize “Velcro baby” was a horrific term. My baby was stickier than Velcro so I called him my “super glue baby”. It was just a way to describe how much he needed to be held but it didn’t mean I treated him poorly or loved him any less.

I let him be his super glue baby self because I didn’t want to regret not taking every single chance to hold him that I could. And I absolutely don’t regret a thing! He’s 13 months old now, we coslept for the first 11 months and he still nurses, although less now. He’s so confident and independent, you would never guess he used to be so sticky

 

[katrina2017]

@jslade I call mine velcro too but I love that he is . He’s always on me.

 

[kyeshamblin]

@katrina2017 We called ours a koala baby. His little brother is less sticky but still a cuddle bug.

 

[jslade]

@kyeshamblin Koala baby— love that!!

 

[godsendwoman06]

@jslade It's only a horrific term because of how people use it as a perjorative. I called my son "milk leech" but I always meant it with fondness, and never complained about him wanting to nurse so much.

 

[xuanang01]

@godsendwoman06 I call mine the boob barnacle

 

[aybuqui]

@xuanang01 Same. And milk monster.

 

[movingon]

@godsendwoman06 I can see how it might be used as a negative term

 

[katrina2017]

@jslade I love calling my daughter a Velcro baby. She is now a toddler. Still a Velcro baby. It’s just cute to me. Sometimes I call her Koala too.

 

[lovethechrist]

@jslade I called mine my marshmallow baby haha

 

[jslade]

@lovethechrist Sweet and sticky! I’ll keep that one in mind for the next one!!