I don’t like my daughter’s friend. And they’re 7
@olly91 Nope Im not the one one. IF I dont like a little kid I tell them about their behavior or call them out when they are little A$$holes. I have 5 children and have raised all of them to be fair and treat everyone with respect etc. So If a little kid is rude they will know, my kids are raised to catch that rude behavior too. Sometimes my kids will even speak up . I have successfully turned 2 little A$$holes into awesome young adults by calling them on thir sh*t simply by being at my house all the time over 15 yrs....
katrina2017
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katrina2017
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@katrina2017 Always a good first step but OTOH what makes you think this isn't where she heard those things? Kids don't just naturally come up with that stuff all on their own.
katrina2017
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@katrina2017 Fair enough. Just thought it worth pointing out this didn't come up all on its own.
@olly91 Just set down the law tell her that kind of behavior is not allowed in your home and try to be specific but relatable. (We like our house or were ok with eating at home.) tell her u love having her over but your house is different than hers and that's ok. But if she don't like it we can both go talk to your parents or she doesn't have to come play anymore. Sometimes bad cop ends up in the best light.
katrina2017
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@olly91 Some people are shitty. As a parent you can’t be your kid’s friend. If you let your kid hang out with shitty people then it becomes more likely for your kid to become shitty. Be the bad person once and cut it off completely and take all of the blame, or you’re stuck with the consequences forever.
katrina2017
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coramay79059
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katrina2017
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@olly91 I don't understand when people say "I don't like x child". They aren't a fully formed adult. I'm just always confused by this. I think this says more about the adult or just the language they use to describe not liking the child's behavior.
When my kids have a friend like this, I constantly talk about how every home and family is unique and some people live in a apartments and some people live in mansions but we are all people. Say, "well, I'm not sure that's a nice thing to say." Or whatever you can to demonstrate that in your home,you expect them to be respectful. If a parent is just fine with your child being in your home, then you have a right to tell them when they are being disrespectful. This particular case sounds like her parents are super judgey and she's repeating what she's been hearing for years. Her parents probably have a lot of rules about how to live life and she's pointing out what she was taught was not okay. Like paper plates, come on. However, some kids have anxiety and it comes out as sounding judgemental because they are expressing how uncomfortable it is to be in a different place than their comfort zone. She is learning a lot being in your home and I wouldn't doubt that one day she will be thankful that her friend's mom showed her a different life and guided her to say more kind things. She is probably criticized at home for bullshit like hair and clothes and old fashioned table manners.
When my kids have a friend like this, I constantly talk about how every home and family is unique and some people live in a apartments and some people live in mansions but we are all people. Say, "well, I'm not sure that's a nice thing to say." Or whatever you can to demonstrate that in your home,you expect them to be respectful. If a parent is just fine with your child being in your home, then you have a right to tell them when they are being disrespectful. This particular case sounds like her parents are super judgey and she's repeating what she's been hearing for years. Her parents probably have a lot of rules about how to live life and she's pointing out what she was taught was not okay. Like paper plates, come on. However, some kids have anxiety and it comes out as sounding judgemental because they are expressing how uncomfortable it is to be in a different place than their comfort zone. She is learning a lot being in your home and I wouldn't doubt that one day she will be thankful that her friend's mom showed her a different life and guided her to say more kind things. She is probably criticized at home for bullshit like hair and clothes and old fashioned table manners.
@katrina2017 Just because they're not adults doesn't mean they can't be assholes. There was a type of child I didn't like when I was a kid and that's the same type of child I don't like now. Just because they might one day stop being an asshole doesn't mean we have to like them now. OP should be empathetic and try other options since this behaviour is not something actively dangerous, of course, but they don't have to like her.
katrina2017
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@shamakwa Well, we'll just disagree on that. Kids aren't assholes. They are growing, changing people. I'm pretty harsh on what I think about adult assholes. But kids only know what they know and are learning to think and socialize. Plenty of mean kids grow up to be jerks, for sure. But saying a child is an asshole is putting them on a adult level, of which they do not belong.
@katrina2017 Kids are definitely assholes. I had enough of them bullying me to be sure of that.
godsgatekeeper
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@olly91 I’m shocked how many people are not suggesting that you stop the relationship. If you believe your kid is wrongly influenced, it’s your right to take your kid away from that environment, in this case, no longer invite the other kid. You can’t solve for other people’s problem. Your child is your responsibility and you should empowered to make sure she is raised correctly; this includes her acquaintance