I can’t handle bedtime anymore

[sandiamoon]

My son is 3 and it takes almost 3 hours to get him to sleep. Every. Single. Night. I’ve tried a long list of “suggestions” and none seem to work.

We cut screens at 5:30-6:00. Dinner and playtime then around 7:00 we start getting ready for bed. Same routine as always, start to finish. By 8 he is either hyper as hell or mad as hell, sometimes both. Even after melatonin. Every 5 seconds he asks for water or says he has to pee or that he is hungry. The peeing I can’t really ignore, but I try to ignore the other two. He gets plenty of food before bed, even more when he’s having a growth spurt. Tonight he ate non-stop from 5-8.

I’m just at a loss. We have tried reading books. We have tried singing songs. I even tried “cry it out” but it doesn’t really work that well with a toddler. The more I struggle to try to get him to calm down and sleep the worse he gets.

I am tired and I am angry and I just don’t know what else to do.

 

[latuwr]

@sandiamoon Cut screens earlier (I’m not judging screen time, just knew the light effect lasts longer than we realize).
When is nap time for him and hour long does he nap? That can play into it a LOT; sleep begets sleep.
What’s in the bedtime routine? Maybe it needs a change. Example: everyone says to have bath time as part of bedtime routine, warm soothing... NOPE, not with my older child. I literally cried when I finally read somewhere that some kids are stimulated by bath time rather than relaxed, it’s just rare.
I’ve been through this. You’ll make it.

 

[ignissusignissium]

@sandiamoon Try to fake sleep for a bit.. my mom would turn off the lights n put disney songs... it was nice and relaxing.

I’m not a parent but that’s what my mom used to do w me.

 

[victoriousnikky]

@sandiamoon Wear him out more during the day? Burn off some of that damn energy. Do yoga and mind-relaxing exercises midday so it’s not tied to bedtime, and then start incorporating them. Set a good example by doing it, too. No screens etc. Ask your pediatrician?

 

[armorandswordwilling]

@sandiamoon Try melatonin.

 

[dave88372]

@sandiamoon I was usually lying next to my kids until they fell asleep. Or go to sleep with them. It might have dread it then and thought its a waste of time, cursed cause of all the work i could have done instead. Now they are almost teenagers and i miss these moments. It will get easier and your child soon won't require all this attention.

 

[jeromecoates]

@sandiamoon My oldest kid has had sleep issues her whole life. Both my kids stopped napping way earlier than anyone else I knew. Nothing worked much except that I can tell you it got WORSE if she didn’t get enough exercise or if I tried to wake her up earlier in the mornings so she’d be “really tired” by nighttime—she WAS really tired and that just resulted in hysteria instead of sleep.

Later, she was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. It makes sense and it’s helpful in that sense, but since I would never medicate her (she’s a teen now), it wouldn’t have changed the experience of dealing with it when she was a toddler and bedtime was a nightmare for me and her both.

The only kid I ever heard of with worse sleep issues was my co-worker’s son. They hired a specialist and I have no idea what it cost, but it fixed the issue.

 

[mmeyers8181]

@sandiamoon Alas, I don't have any good advice for you, just sympathy. My son was just terrible at falling asleep. We tried wearing him out, we tried letting him nap more, we tried cry it out. He just won that battle consistently. When he was about three the only way he would go to sleep would be me walking and singing to him. Nothing else worked. Sometimes he'd be trying to sleep and just not able to and then I'd see him rear his head back and I'd know he was going to try to head butt me because there were nights that the only way he could get himself to sleep was by literally crying himself to sleep. Man, it was tough to take. So you really have my sympathy.

One thing that was almost a guarantee for a good long while was riding in the car with soothing music that he liked (which switched from time to time, but was always different from the songs he wanted me to sing to him). After his mom left when he was four or five the sleep drive was, for a long time, the surest way to get him out. So if you have access to a car that might be an option worth trying? I had to give up on that method as a nightly ritual within the last several months, though, because where I live I sometimes have to park a block or more (on rare occasions as far as 5 or 6 blocks) away from the house, and it just got too hard to carry him that far.

He's seven now, and still isn't great at getting to sleep all by himself, but we've got a routine together that involves a story, some quiet time, occasionally melatonin, and a particular documentary TV show that combines soothing music and interesting visuals and that's become a pretty sure thing.

 

[barry16]

@sandiamoon Have you tried a few drops of lavender essential oil on the pillow?