iamscience
New member
@charity78777 I get that too. Times are certainly different. I had some grandparents say “give him cereal so he can stay full” umm no thanks 
I’m so tired of hearing what other people did/ are doing with their babies
- Thread starter charity78777
- Start date
-
- Tags
- new parents vent
wolfgang85
New member
@charity78777 Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with people. We are that family they are talking about. Our baby at 5 months already traveled abroad 3 times, been on a bunch of boat rides etc. etc.
But it’s ONLY because our baby allows us to! He is super chill, good sleeper, good eater, good with changes etc. My nephew would have screamed forever on any of these activities at this age. He would have gone wild if the parents took him places and out of his routine.
Now solids is very much a thing you need to get a green light from your pediatrician in a first place?! We have been cleared for solids at 5 months as the baby reached 8 kg. We were also told that it is unhealthy for a baby to sit earlier than 5 months, and solids before baby sit is also a big no no. So tell them to shut their windows and stop talking completely if they are about to give pressure on dangerous shit.
But it’s ONLY because our baby allows us to! He is super chill, good sleeper, good eater, good with changes etc. My nephew would have screamed forever on any of these activities at this age. He would have gone wild if the parents took him places and out of his routine.
Now solids is very much a thing you need to get a green light from your pediatrician in a first place?! We have been cleared for solids at 5 months as the baby reached 8 kg. We were also told that it is unhealthy for a baby to sit earlier than 5 months, and solids before baby sit is also a big no no. So tell them to shut their windows and stop talking completely if they are about to give pressure on dangerous shit.
@charity78777 My salty takes:
4 month old is too little: "That's great their baby was ready for that then. I'm sure they had someone they trusted driving the boat. That must have been a fun family milestone. My baby isn't there yet, and that's fine!" If they didn't get the dig, they weren't listening.
4 month old is still on breast milk: "Every family is doing what they feel is right for their baby. What is right for X family can and maybe should be different from what is right for mine. We aren't the same people, after all."
Babysitting overnight: "I would love to have people I trust to watch my baby overnight." Anyone who hints they should have that privilege and tries to guilt parents deserves the truth in the form of a verbal smack down.
Traveling: "I love that X family got to do that. I wonder how exhausted the parents were from that. For Christmas, I am gifting myself comfort and joy. I am also getting myself some peace. Tis the season." And if they retort, sing "Falalalala la la la laaaa" over them. Smile. Tis the season to spread joy and be home with loved ones. Remember, guilting people is not an act of love so those peeps are tellingyou that seeing a baby where they are is more importantthan yours or the baby's well being. You're supposed to spend that holiday with people who you love and who make you feel loved. Staying home can be that.
Keep advocating for that adorable baby of yours.
4 month old is too little: "That's great their baby was ready for that then. I'm sure they had someone they trusted driving the boat. That must have been a fun family milestone. My baby isn't there yet, and that's fine!" If they didn't get the dig, they weren't listening.
4 month old is still on breast milk: "Every family is doing what they feel is right for their baby. What is right for X family can and maybe should be different from what is right for mine. We aren't the same people, after all."
Babysitting overnight: "I would love to have people I trust to watch my baby overnight." Anyone who hints they should have that privilege and tries to guilt parents deserves the truth in the form of a verbal smack down.
Traveling: "I love that X family got to do that. I wonder how exhausted the parents were from that. For Christmas, I am gifting myself comfort and joy. I am also getting myself some peace. Tis the season." And if they retort, sing "Falalalala la la la laaaa" over them. Smile. Tis the season to spread joy and be home with loved ones. Remember, guilting people is not an act of love so those peeps are tellingyou that seeing a baby where they are is more importantthan yours or the baby's well being. You're supposed to spend that holiday with people who you love and who make you feel loved. Staying home can be that.
Keep advocating for that adorable baby of yours.
charity78777
New member
@charity78777 In the beginning my mom didn’t understand why I didn’t want to go with him to a restaurant. Tbh he’s 14 months now and I still don’t like it because he gets fussy. So when he was about 3 months she kept bugging me about it so I caved in and said fine but you watch him the whole time then.
Joke was on her because he got fussy the whole time and she spent half the dinner walking around outside the restaurant with him while I ate and drank wine. As she was outside with him looking in I waved and did a cheers with my wine glass lol. Her food got cold she barely got to enjoy it and I just kept staring at her with the biggest smile lol.
It’s just hard going out in general. I try not to be a hermit but man life is just easier with them at home. To this day the crying in the back seat makes me all anxious.
Joke was on her because he got fussy the whole time and she spent half the dinner walking around outside the restaurant with him while I ate and drank wine. As she was outside with him looking in I waved and did a cheers with my wine glass lol. Her food got cold she barely got to enjoy it and I just kept staring at her with the biggest smile lol.
It’s just hard going out in general. I try not to be a hermit but man life is just easier with them at home. To this day the crying in the back seat makes me all anxious.
@charity78777 I always say “how great for them!” And walk away. Does the trick, usually only takes people a few times to realize I have no interest in comparing my child/parenting to others.
@charity78777 I really don’t like that. It just rubs me in the wrong way. HOWEVER before having a baby I was one of these people, it’s terrible I know. Now with my own I actually did apologize to my friend for all those times.
charity78777
New member
@lohman446 OMG me too. I was one of those “my kid would NEVER” people and I have eaten my words so many times since becoming a mom
futuretrainee
New member
@charity78777 What things do you do with the baby? Are they concerned about PPA? Or are they trying to have more of a relationship with their grandchild? But are ineffectively communicating these concerns?
charity78777
New member
@futuretrainee No. They see the baby almost every weekend. They just want everything on their terms. For example, I repeatedly tell them they are welcome to visit her here or we can do day visits at their house. (We live less than ten minutes apart) But they like to day drink on weekends and don’t want to worry about driving back and forth. They like to do late dinner parties and don’t like my rule about having to have her home by a certain time at night. Or when I say that my parents’ dog (who has a bite history) has to be confined if they want us to bring the baby over. (“They just need to get used to each other!”)
charity78777
New member
Honestly I think a lot of times grandparents just forget about the challenges and monotony of baby-rearing and just remember the highlights. It could be biological. I was shocked the other day when my aunt told me she had forgotten how painful breastfeeding was until I reminded her about how I had struggled with it.
sonofmatthew
New member
@charity78777 I think it’s biological. I stopped breastfeeding 8 months ago and already forgot how much it hurts (though I remember how hard it was). I’ve also forgotten the newborn phase even though I had a rough time with PPA. I can’t imagine how much our memories will warp after a decade or 2!
@sonofmatthew Its the lack of sleep! It blurs the memory.
I also know childbirth was awful but I can't feel the memory anymore, if that makes sense.
I also know childbirth was awful but I can't feel the memory anymore, if that makes sense.
dianeblessed
New member
@sonofmatthew I'm pretty sure if we remembered how tough having children was, everyone would stop at one I hated being pregnant and had a tough birth but when I see my daughter I'm like "oh yeah, I want another one of these asap"
I hated being pregnant and had a tough birth but when I see my daughter I'm like "oh yeah, I want another one of these asap"wiiiseiiers
New member
@charity78777 I agree.
Also, my in-laws are not "old" by any means but they also treat all children as if they're the same. My daughter was a demanding baby. My nephew, who's three months younger, was the opposite and the definition of easy-going. Instead of recognizing that, just like adults, all babies are different, we'd hear, "____ will sit on my lap for an hour without making a fuss" or "Why won't she just fall asleep in the car? ____ will sleep anywhere."
Also, my in-laws are not "old" by any means but they also treat all children as if they're the same. My daughter was a demanding baby. My nephew, who's three months younger, was the opposite and the definition of easy-going. Instead of recognizing that, just like adults, all babies are different, we'd hear, "____ will sit on my lap for an hour without making a fuss" or "Why won't she just fall asleep in the car? ____ will sleep anywhere."
@charity78777 Breastfeeding was the one time I was grateful for my unsensitive nipples. Like, you can pinch them hard and I'm usually just "stop pinching my nipples." AND IT STILL HURT IN THE BEGINNING. I'm also not looking forward to teeth, seems masochistic to me.
vanillaface
New member
@thehunted I had a hard time with nursing, and was sensitive to the pain.
Also dreaded him getting teeth — but surprisingly it didn’t matter at all. He was careful and didn’t bite me. The teeth didn’t make things any different.
Sometimes if there’s a bad latch or it felt off I would take him off and try again for a better latch, that’s it.
Hope your experience becomes easier too!
Also dreaded him getting teeth — but surprisingly it didn’t matter at all. He was careful and didn’t bite me. The teeth didn’t make things any different.
Sometimes if there’s a bad latch or it felt off I would take him off and try again for a better latch, that’s it.
Hope your experience becomes easier too!
katrina2017
New member
@charity78777 You're totally reasonable here.
chris_pattz
New member
@charity78777 Could’ve written this post myself. Just learn to not give a shit about what they do. Like for example, I was comparing my best friends baby with mine. They took him out, loads of places , trips etc etc and he’s only 1.5 months old. They also chose to not vaccinate him (idiots) and dropped him twice already. Just coz they’re going out and doing all this stuff, doesn’t mean they’re not screwing up in other departments. So I just learnt to not care abojt what anyone does or says they do with their baby and I’ve been living a much happier life haha
@charity78777 I used to work for child and family services. All of these situations sound pretty bad for baby especially the feeding solid food before 6 months. Many parents HAVE to travel, but if you have the privilege to stay in place to keep baby safe, X family can stuff it.