I’m scared of my husband going back to work on Monday

[kenprays]

@marialavender 7 weeks into having my baby wa s probably one of the worst places I’ve been in my life. I had a really difficult infant too - at night me and my husband would wear noise cancelling headphones and pass the baby back and forth for hours and hours. I had really bad anxiety too and remember thinking we had made a huge mistake we could never take back.

For us it got SO much better at 3 months. He just seemed to hate the world a whole lot less and started smiling at us which was super cute. He’s 8 months now and while he’s still not what I would call an easy baby, we’re universes away where we were.

If I can suggest anything, get support any way you can. I joined an online moms support group for postpartum mood disorders and it’s been really great. I also got on meds which for me has been a game changer - I’ve had severe anxiety for a long time but no longer was able to manage without meds. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I hope you can hang in there and get any support you think would be helpful. You’re not a bad mom, just human. So many people have been through this even if they don’t talk about it.

 

[marialavender]

@kenprays Thank you. I think I am finally going to try a therapist.

 

[leonica]

@marialavender Really happy to hear this! If you’re not sure where to start, find a practice which has a few therapists and call reception and tell them your situation. It’s what I did and they were able to recommend someone perfectly suited to me. It really helps to feel like you have someone on your side whose job is to help YOU. Everyone else will be focused on the baby, which is a good thing, but you need looking after too.

 

[leobarros98]

@marialavender The newborn phase blows. My mantra was “time is elapsing.” Your job is to try to help this angry tiny human figure their shit out. If you’re trying, you’re doing fine. And better yet, TIME IS ELAPSING! Your kid will be less of a basket case later and so will you. My experience was similar to yours. “I’ve made a huge mistake.” But once I got this beautiful child into part time care, life is good! Yes it is still hard sometimes. But those people who say “just wait” till toddlerhood or whatever, they are WRONG. If you have a rage baby, everything gets easier every day. Right now, terrible. Get all the support you can. If you can afford occasional care, get it. You will make it through and your child will be safe, secure, and healthy. Absolutely sucks. But literally easier every week.

 

[marialavender]

@leobarros98 Thank you. I have been considering hiring a babysitter 2x a week for a few hours.