Scared about vaginal birth.
- Thread starter misha100
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propeace101
New member
iamnobody58
New member
@misha100 The hospital where I delivered was so against a csection that long story short, my son died because of it. This was in the US, in a major hospital. That was my first baby and I wish I would have known this kind of thing happens. I’ve now met so many women with the same exact story. I don’t share this to scare you but I share this to make you aware sometimes doctors get really pushy about vaginal deliveries. I would have a very serious conversation about what YOU want and what will make them move to a csection. I can tell you that me being in labor for 3 days and pushing for 4 hours meant absolutely nothing to these people, even when my baby was clearly in distress and he paid for it with his life. ETA- I had a second baby a year after and did an elective csection, it was a fantastic experience. Surgery was a breeze and recovery was very easy. Will do another csection for my third.
@iamnobody58 Oh my gosh I am so sorry 
It's horrible. People like that shouldn't continue in the medical field at all. Absolutely horrible. And another example of wanting to control women's bodies with catastrophic outcomes.
It's horrible. People like that shouldn't continue in the medical field at all. Absolutely horrible. And another example of wanting to control women's bodies with catastrophic outcomes.cajuntinman
New member
@misha100 I was also scared to go through a vaginal birth - the idea of pain, tearing, recovery was just a lot to digest. I will say, once I was given drugs for the pain part, the rest wasn't so bad but YMMV. All through pregnancy I had to stay open to being flexible and, truthfully, I had initially leaned towards opting for a C-section. In the end, I was able to make it through and, 11 weeks later, I am feeling pretty good. I had GD and gestational hypertension as well as having a high BMI. Good luck, hoping you can find a solution that feels good for you and your birth.
dutyandthebeast
New member
@misha100 An elective csection generally refers to one that is booked ahead of time, rather than emergency. Having had a csection, they are definitely not pain free. It’s like any other major abdominal surgery and recovery is longer than a vaginal birth. For liability reasons because of the risks associated with them being higher than a vaginal delivery, most OBs won’t do them unless there’s an indication for them. That said, with my first pregnancy the plan to have an elective csection wasn’t made until about 35 weeks anyways and considering that 1 in 3 births is a csection you may just end up needing one anyways.
I would much rather have a vaginal delivery this go around if I can.
I would much rather have a vaginal delivery this go around if I can.
@misha100 Just so you know, C-sections also hurt. A lot.
Recovery time is also longer. It’s major abdominal surgery.
(Source: My baby was born in March. I went through 22 hours of labor and ended up needing a C-Section anyway due to complications, including labor stalling at 9cm for 4 hours and baby not dropping to 0 station.)
You’re having a baby. There is going to be pain. Unfortunately that’s just how it is.
Recovery time is also longer. It’s major abdominal surgery.
(Source: My baby was born in March. I went through 22 hours of labor and ended up needing a C-Section anyway due to complications, including labor stalling at 9cm for 4 hours and baby not dropping to 0 station.)
You’re having a baby. There is going to be pain. Unfortunately that’s just how it is.
loveedifies
New member
@misha100 I was scared too. What got me thru it was 1. Epidural and 2. Women have been giving birth for centuries…I’m not an exception to that fact. Plus in the moment you gotta do what you gotta do, the baby HAS to come out they can’t stay in forever! I had my baby vaginally and was told beforehand that it all comes down to how good of a pusher you are. My daughter was out in 45 minutes. I was pushing like hell. The pain with an epidural was tolerable and after she came out literally everything hurt wise stopped, not from an emotional standpoint but I mean physical, it just disappeared. I had a second degree tear which got stitched up, never hurt or felt it. Within the hour I was ordering food from the cafeteria! Then shortly after they moved us to the aftercare room. You will feel so proud of yourself when it’s over. I know I do.
@loveedifies Thank you for sharing your experience. It gives me hope.
mattfaria12
New member
@misha100 I'm having a scheduled c section for medical reasons (I had surgery to address a chronic pain condition and my surgeon told me I should only be getting c sections if I chose to have children). I'm otherwise healthy and have had a healthy pregnancy so far. My OB told me that I didn't need any special reason to decide to have a c section. She actually said that if that's what I wanted, I could walk into any hospital to deliver and demand it.
I don't know that every doctor will comply with that sort of thing, but if she's refusing to consider a c section for you and you really want to have one, you should consider switching to another doctor.
I don't know that every doctor will comply with that sort of thing, but if she's refusing to consider a c section for you and you really want to have one, you should consider switching to another doctor.
@misha100 The c section is a serious surgery and there are certain benefits for both mum and baby for vaginal delivery. The are number of pain management options including walking epidural or continuous epitural significantly help. Pelvic floor and breathing exercises at any stage of pregnancy can also help to be prepared for the labour. I would suggest discussing all pain managment options available for you with your OB and/or midwife making a birth plan. And if birth does not progress, baby is in distress, or any indications show up on the way you might end up with c section after all. It doesn't have to be anything majorly wrong with pregnancy, often it is enough that the labour does not progress.
Also, discuss possibility to eat and drink during labor. I am based in Europe where it is encouraged to have a meal and drink water while in labor, but I heard it is forbidden in US.
Also, discuss possibility to eat and drink during labor. I am based in Europe where it is encouraged to have a meal and drink water while in labor, but I heard it is forbidden in US.
simplysteff
New member
@misha100 I had a c-section with my first and probably will with my second, too. (I produce big babies.) It was technically elective, in that I wasn’t in an emergency when we made the decision, but both the OB and MFM recommended it, and I wasn’t keen to try vaginal birth. (My biggest concern was failed vaginal followed by emergency c-section, which had a high likelihood given my kid’s size.) It was easy enough, as was recovery—until 6 weeks postpartum, when my incision reopened. I then had to go to the wound clinic weekly for three months, and it was awful. Couldn’t get it wet, couldn’t exercise, and had to have my mom (a nurse) change my dressing twice per week. It stunk. I’m pregnant with #2 now, and we suspect we’ll do a c-section again but haven’t solidified on that yet. I mentally can’t handle the reopening again, so the OB is coming up with a plan to minimize the risk. So, a c-section has challenges to consider, too.
@misha100 I was bullied into an induction over a scheduled c section and I regret it. Yes it’s major surgery but I felt fine 10 days pp. not everyone has a hard time recovering.
Also, you should be allowed to labor the way you want. I’m tired of women being bullied into a labor they aren’t comfortable with.
Also, you should be allowed to labor the way you want. I’m tired of women being bullied into a labor they aren’t comfortable with.
fingerstowar
New member
@misha100 I am 100% pro c-section based on my own personal experience.
I found out I have a massive fibroid right above my cervix, within the uterine muscle. In fact, I was referred to MFM because of it. As soon as I found that out, I was advocating for a c-section. Emergency sections after laboring are common in my family and I knew from the jump I didn’t want to recover from both an emergency surgery and laboring.
My OB at one point made a crack at an appointment that was something to the effect of, “wouldn’t it be great if your fibroid moved so we could deliver vaginally?” I transferred care to the MFM the next week.
The plan was an elective c because of the fibroid. It wound up being medically necessary as my son was breech the entire time and was born early at 37 weeks due to gestational hypertension.
I am not mincing words when I say that my delivery and subsequent recovery have been a breeze. I did not have any complications and was walking around the neighborhood with the stroller by about 8 days postpartum. In fact, my first pp period started this week (I’m 6 weeks pp). I fully know that is not everyone’s experience but it is mine. If you are set on a c-section then advocate for yourself! They are not always the worst case scenario they can be made out to be.
I found out I have a massive fibroid right above my cervix, within the uterine muscle. In fact, I was referred to MFM because of it. As soon as I found that out, I was advocating for a c-section. Emergency sections after laboring are common in my family and I knew from the jump I didn’t want to recover from both an emergency surgery and laboring.
My OB at one point made a crack at an appointment that was something to the effect of, “wouldn’t it be great if your fibroid moved so we could deliver vaginally?” I transferred care to the MFM the next week.
The plan was an elective c because of the fibroid. It wound up being medically necessary as my son was breech the entire time and was born early at 37 weeks due to gestational hypertension.
I am not mincing words when I say that my delivery and subsequent recovery have been a breeze. I did not have any complications and was walking around the neighborhood with the stroller by about 8 days postpartum. In fact, my first pp period started this week (I’m 6 weeks pp). I fully know that is not everyone’s experience but it is mine. If you are set on a c-section then advocate for yourself! They are not always the worst case scenario they can be made out to be.
@misha100 No they aren’t elective in the U.S. you’d think they would be though. I understand where you’re coming from as I felt the same fears when I was a FTM. Vaginal births can feel super scary because they’re so unpredictable. I delivered my daughter vaginally 8 years ago after 36 hours of labor, 12 hours of pitocin on a failed epidural. Had her out in 3 pushes! Was up and walking around immediately.
This baby’s been breech the entire pregnancy and was breech at my last ultrasound a few days ago yet they’re waiting until next week to schedule a c section. I’m high risk for preeclampsia (had it with my daughter) and I have insulin controlled gestational diabetes, my baby’s projected to be 11lbs and I’m being induced at 39w anyways so I’ll probably end up with a c section either way. Why they won’t just schedule it? Idk but it’s annoying. I would feel more comfortable knowing what we’re doing so I can cope accordingly, lol.
This baby’s been breech the entire pregnancy and was breech at my last ultrasound a few days ago yet they’re waiting until next week to schedule a c section. I’m high risk for preeclampsia (had it with my daughter) and I have insulin controlled gestational diabetes, my baby’s projected to be 11lbs and I’m being induced at 39w anyways so I’ll probably end up with a c section either way. Why they won’t just schedule it? Idk but it’s annoying. I would feel more comfortable knowing what we’re doing so I can cope accordingly, lol.