@marialavender Whoa... can you offload most of this? You're literally describing 3 full time jobs. Oof, someone needs to step in and help you.
I’m scared of my husband going back to work on Monday
- Thread starter marialavender
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marialavender
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@anneqa My husband will be doing most of the packing and taking over smaller items that fit in our car.
We are hiring painters, a landscaping company, and movers to prepare our house to sell.
My uncle will be helping move my grandparents too.
So I do have some help with it, and my clients will just have to wait lol. I am being honest with them so they understand why I won’t be back soon.
We are hiring painters, a landscaping company, and movers to prepare our house to sell.
My uncle will be helping move my grandparents too.
So I do have some help with it, and my clients will just have to wait lol. I am being honest with them so they understand why I won’t be back soon.
@marialavender Have you read anything about PURPLE crying? It's a good Google search when you're withering away as the parent of a two month old. The official peak of crying is supposed to be right around two months.
marialavender
New member
@goose0612 That sounds exactly like what we are dealing with. It is so hard.
@marialavender Yup! I literally wore hearing protection.
@goose0612 Wow thank you for this info! I literally went to the doctor because my 6 week old baby was very distressed (and still is) and she said it was nothing but as a first time mom I was very scared! It’s not as bad now that she’s almost 3 months old, but it still gets me when I see her cry like that in the evenings.
@marialavender Wow that really takes me back. I had such a similar experience. I stopped breastfeeding when my husband went back to work but forced myself to keep pumping for months and months out of guilt. I don’t recommend that. It made me miserable.
It sounds like it might be good to talk to your doctor about PPA. Also loop earplugs were a life saver for me.
Seriously the fourth trimester is the worst, just know you aren’t alone.
It sounds like it might be good to talk to your doctor about PPA. Also loop earplugs were a life saver for me.
Seriously the fourth trimester is the worst, just know you aren’t alone.
marialavender
New member
@jcarolina Thank you. I feel so bad when she cries, like I can’t make her feel better. I am looking forward to outgrowing this phase.
@marialavender I hear you. With PPD and PTSD the cries were very triggering for me. She’s just over 2 now and though the tantrums suck, I way prefer this stage.
It sounds cliche but it really does get better. And know that you don’t have to feel bad for hating parts of a stage. You’re in a really rough bit. Just gotta survive.
It sounds cliche but it really does get better. And know that you don’t have to feel bad for hating parts of a stage. You’re in a really rough bit. Just gotta survive.
michael0830
New member
@marialavender I was the same way. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life and thought I was the worst mom in the world. I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't breastfeed and I thought I was going to ruin the rest of her lift by making mistakes. I didn't even think she was cute for the first few months which just made me feel more guilty.
She is now almost 5 and going to kindergarten in September. She is the most wondeful thing that has ever happened to me. Its still hard but the joy she adds to my life could never be measured.
I promise you it will get better and you will look back on this and remember the good things. You will sleep again. You will feel normal again. Give yourself a break. You're not going to mess up your baby. If talking stresses you both out, be quiet there's nothing wrong with that. Play a fairy tale pod cast or something. Play music.
Most of all don't be scared to get help. I saw a therapist and my OBGYN. When I told them I thought I had postpartum they got me in the next day. They take it seriously and they know how to help you.
You got this, it will be ok!
She is now almost 5 and going to kindergarten in September. She is the most wondeful thing that has ever happened to me. Its still hard but the joy she adds to my life could never be measured.
I promise you it will get better and you will look back on this and remember the good things. You will sleep again. You will feel normal again. Give yourself a break. You're not going to mess up your baby. If talking stresses you both out, be quiet there's nothing wrong with that. Play a fairy tale pod cast or something. Play music.
Most of all don't be scared to get help. I saw a therapist and my OBGYN. When I told them I thought I had postpartum they got me in the next day. They take it seriously and they know how to help you.
You got this, it will be ok!
marialavender
New member
@michael0830 Thank you. I think I do need to get a therapist. I’ve thought about getting one for years, but I’m just barely hanging on now, and I need help. I can’t wait for this phase to be over!
kalebsanders007
New member
@marialavender People have already said what I wanted to say, and probably better than I could. So I will just add this. The way you feel is NORMAL and so many parents, especially moms, feel like this. They just don’t say it. I had PPD and PPA (I also have an anxiety disorder so motherhood just exploded what was already there). I could have written this post 14 months ago. Now my son is 15 months old and it has gotten so much better.
Lastly, your job on Monday is to keep you and your baby alive. If you don’t do one chore, good. If you don’t do tummy time, fine. You are in the fourth trimester and it SUCKS. But it doesn’t last, even if it feels like it will never end. This is a head down and just survive situation. And you will. And you’ll get yourself back.
If you ever want to chat I am just a DM away. Good for you for taking the time to write this. Good for you for saying the quiet part out loud.
Lastly, your job on Monday is to keep you and your baby alive. If you don’t do one chore, good. If you don’t do tummy time, fine. You are in the fourth trimester and it SUCKS. But it doesn’t last, even if it feels like it will never end. This is a head down and just survive situation. And you will. And you’ll get yourself back.
If you ever want to chat I am just a DM away. Good for you for taking the time to write this. Good for you for saying the quiet part out loud.
marialavender
New member
@kalebsanders007 Thank you. I will just focus on keeping myself going, hour by hour. I appreciate your invitation, if I ever need to chat I will message you.
@marialavender You are experiencing what so many other moms experience! Myself included. I feel like I could’ve written this post a year ago. You’re in the worst of the worst part, newborns are HARD! Talk to people around you and be honest when you’re asked how you’re doing. When people asked how I was, I would said “I’m not okay”. And that lead to a lot of helping hands and encouraging phone conversations with people who had the same experiences. If it’s possible can you get a friend or family member to come hang out during the day so you can get a snooze in? The sleep deprivation is what makes handling all this even worse. You’re not a bad mom, you’re just new and trying to keep your head above water. You’re doing amazing! There are better days ahead, this isn’t forever!
marialavender
New member
@marialavender It only feels hard because you’re going through what I genuinely believe to be the absolute fucking worst nightmare stage of having a baby. That, right there, is why I’m one and done.
BUT!
It will get better, and it will feel like forever, but really it’s around the corner. You got this. (Also, did you check babe for reflux and/or lactose intolerance?)
BUT!
It will get better, and it will feel like forever, but really it’s around the corner. You got this. (Also, did you check babe for reflux and/or lactose intolerance?)
marialavender
New member
@marialavender Sounds like you have a fussy/high-needs baby like I did. If you’re on Facebook, you can join the Fussy Baby support group to find more people who “get it” and maybe some tips that will help you figure out what (if anything) is bothering your daughter. I’d also strongly recommend searching Postpartum Support International for a support group for PPD. Once my husband went back to work is when I really started struggling, and I wish I had a support system in place before everything fell apart. It will get better! But it is going to be a struggle for a while.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/fussybabysite/about/
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/locations/
https://m.facebook.com/groups/fussybabysite/about/
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/locations/