I’m about two weeks out from having a C-section to have my twins, and I think I’m a little too delusional

[rrruff]

I need some nitty gritty of what it’s actually like to bring home babies after a C-section. I have this idea that things won’t be all that hard and we’ll be able to figure it out without a problem. I almost feel like I’m setting myself up for failure because I’m not preparing myself for how hard it will really be. These are our first babies, so I have no experience with what to expect.

What were some of the hardest parts for you coming home with twins?

Update: my C-section has been moved to this Thursday due to one of my babies being growth restricted. I’m freaking out a bit more now

Update: we’ve been home for a few days now, and I have had a ton of help. Sleep deprivation is real, but my babies are so perfect I don’t even care. Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to stay positive and to everyone who gave me a reality check. I think I got lucky with babies that don’t cry unless they need something, and a C-section with no complications. Things have been about what I thought they’d be like, and I absolutely love it!

 

[jtkyber]

@rrruff I was in your shoes not long ago! I was in such discomfort in my final weeks of pregnancy (gave birth at 37w) that I was overly excited to be done & thought things would be painless & easy. Well tbh it wasn't.

Things I did not anticipate: 1. waking up & realising you don't have a core anymore. Even rolling out of bed was hard. 2. Whole body discomfort post c-sec - swelling, numbness, pain, fatigue. I was hobbling like a granny for a week! Only felt some semblance of recovery in week 2-3. 3. Breastfeeding pain - EVERYTHING hurts in the first 2 weeks. 4. Body image issues with DR, floppy pooch etc. Cried about it almost daily for the first 2 weeks. Made worse by my naivety that things would "return to normal" fast.

So yeah. Definitely not as smooth sailing as I'd expected! There were a lot of physical, mental & emotional struggles I did not anticipate. & all that doesn't even take into account the stresses of learning to care for not just 1 newborn but 2. I wish someone had told me to temper my expectations, I would've felt more prepared. That said, things rapidly improved after week 3 onwards. I'm 6 weeks pp now & things are really starting to get a lot better.

 

[rrruff]

@jtkyber I’ll be delivering at 37 weeks too. I’m most worried about the C-section recovery and lack of sleep for my husband and myself. I haven’t even considered the hormone crash and body image issues (which are already raging). I’ve been so emotional already, and I keep thinking it’ll be better once the babies come

 

[lisavet]

@rrruff My twins are 5 weeks old so this is all fresh. They stayed in the NICU for 8 and 18 days so we didn’t have the typical first night experience but had that whole trauma instead. Our girl came home first and we slept about 30 minutes that first night because we just couldn’t figure out how to get her to sleep, but starting the second night we learned her cues a bit more and emergency ordered things like a premie size swaddle and things got so much better. Since then I think we get 4-6 hours of sleep on average, just very interrupted. I’ve not slept longer than 2.5hrs straight since they were born. The first couple weeks I cried a lot out of stress and sleep deprivation but I don’t think I’ve cried in at least a week or two now lol. Both our babies have lots of gas and reflux issues which is tough I hate to see them in pain and makes feedings long and stressful sometimes but they’re growing on track thankfully. We have great support and I have no idea how I’d function without the help. My husband had to go right back to work and my mom has come over for every one of his shifts because I still don’t feel confident taking care of them alone for more than an hour or two. I’m trying to get out and about more recently, we did manage to go out to lunch with them after their one month pediatrician appt and that went well, yesterday we went shopping for the first time with them in a Weego carrier. It’s definitely hard- I’m tired and days are repetitive and sometimes I can’t wait for them to be a little older, but also I am so in love with these babies and I try to savor every cuddle because it’s going by so fast. You can’t really prepare so just try to survive the end of your pregnancy (not an easy feat) and enjoy the ride!

 

[lisavet]

Realizing I didn’t really answer your question in that rambling essay. One thing that’s been really hard is when they’re just inconsolably upset and I can’t figure out how to help, makes me feel like a failure of a mother. It can also get tricky when my husband and I disagree on why their upset and want to try different things ie he thinks she’s hungry and wants to make a bottle and I think she has reflux and just want to cuddle her until it passes. Everyone talks about the lack of sleep so I knew it’d be tough but living it is different, it is just soso hard when you’re exhausted and think they’re finally asleep and you put them down and they start wailing again and you have to get back out of your cozy bed and pick them back up for who knows how long.

 

[rrruff]

@lisavet The lack of sleep is one thing I know I’m going to struggle with. My husband also has to go right back to work, but he’s able to take a week vacation the second week we’ll be home. We’ll also have some family help too. You’re right though, these last few weeks of pregnancy have been awful!

 

[anonymous18]

@rrruff Honestly it was much easier than I expected. Yes C section is hard on your body but you'll also feel a huge weight is lifted off your body (literally) and seeing twins for the first time is so special.
Yes you have to feed them often but newborns sleep like 18 hours a day so especially if you have someone to help you, it's not so hard to catch up on sleep.
My mom was supposed to stay with us for some time after delivery but honestly there wasn't much to help we asked her to go home much earlier than expected (I and my husband are both on parental leave).

I was anxious like you but I wish I didn't stress over so much on something I had no control over and spend energy on fun stuff! Good luck and take care

 

[rrruff]

@anonymous18 Thank you for that reminder! My mom is supposed to stay with us for about a month, so I hope that’ll be enough to help get through the worst of it.

 

[ponchsox]

@rrruff My C-section was on Aug 24 at 36+3. My twins were a great size so I assumed we would be fine but knew the NICU was a possibility. They're still there and tomorrow I'll have to go home without my boys which is pretty heartbreaking honestly. So I don't have advice on taking them home, but suggesting you are prepared not to take them home when you go. Knowing it's possible and experiencing it is so different. I just miss them so much every second I'm not with them.

 

[rrruff]

@ponchsox Oh my goodness that sounds so scary! I hope you get to take your babies home soon!

 

[ponchsox]

@rrruff Thanks! They're doing really well but there was one day that they just were not improving and it was really terrifying for us. But the NICU staff are amazing and they're in good hands there. It's just really hard mentally and emotionally to go through pregnancy and the c section only to have them pulled away from you instantly.

I'm sure you're also wondering about the healing from the surgery and for me it's not that bad. The gas pains are serious but getting up and moving helps a lot so being motivated to go see them got me up right quick! I almost didn't bring a heating pad to to the hospital but I highly recommend it!

 

[zachariah89]

@ponchsox I am in the thick of this at almost three weeks and I hate it. I’m pumping every three hours, doing their washing and busting when I can. We call it baby boot camp without the babies. Everyone says how wonderful it is to have the break to recover but it’s not really any kind of break.

 

[fab01]

@rrruff I healed from both vaginal and c section because each twin had a different entrance into my arms it hurt to get up, couldn’t sleep on my stomach. Get yourself to a pelvic floor specialist

 

[rrruff]

@fab01 Oh my goodness!! That’s so scary. My doctor told me that was a possibility if I chose a vaginal birth, and I immediately asked for a C-section

 

[fab01]

@rrruff Mine warned me too. I have didi boys and B was transverse. They tried to flip him twice but his hr fell so that is why we switched to c section. His brother was born at 1151pm but it took another 34 minutes for him to be born at 1225am which also resulted in a different birthday for each

 

[eil]

@rrruff Are you having moDi? C section is safest bet with identical twins

 

[rrruff]

@eil I still don’t fully understand what those terms mean, but I think I’m having di/di twins. I know they’re fraternal for sure.

 

[eil]

@rrruff Then Di di! Just basically means you have two placentas and two amniotic sacs. And they are the least high risk of the twin pregnancies

 

[nirajrana]

@rrruff The first 12 weeks were unbelievably hard………but NOTHING as bad as the last 12 weeks of pregnancy.

I had c section complications and was on a LOT of pain. My core was like jello and I couldn’t sit up without rolling to the side for honestly probably 5 months. STILL soooo much easier than pregnancy.

Newborns are rough but it’s really just about endless feedings and sleep deprivation. If you can, do shifts so everyone gets at least one 6 hr chunk of sleep. Let anyone who is willing to help out in anything they are willing to do (yes even hold the babies or feed them). Other than that just remember it’s only a short while. Before you know it, they will be these wonderful little personalities and hopefully sleeping angels (ok….this might take longer ).

 

[rrruff]

@nirajrana Thank you! That’s so reassuring to hear that the recovery from the C-section was easier than pregnancy. I’ve been so miserable between being in pain constantly, morning sickness coming back and insomnia, I can’t imagine anything being worse than this. Even still, I’ve been so anxious about the C-section and the recovery.

The sleep deprivation is something I know we’re going to struggle with, but taking shifts is a great idea!