How much are you playing with your baby?

@coachlittlez23 Each wake window I usually do: 15-20 minutes of entertainment: books, singing, tummy time, stepping onto the balcony etc. and 10-20 minutes of independent play which is putting her on her Lovevery mat or in her crib with her kick and play piano. If she wants to play independently for longer than that, she can have at it lol but 20 minutes is basically her max right now.

Other than that, i carry her around or lay her next to me and just do what I need to do. I still talk to her and stuff, but im not entertaining during that time.

She only takes like 20 minute naps right now, so i feel like i still entertain her for a good amount of the day, but it’s not constant. By 5 or 6pm I’m basically off the clock and she just hangs with me until her bedtime.
 
@coachlittlez23 I’m in the same situation as you with the same age baby! Happy to know I’m not the only one. I take her to baby group 3x a week now cos I just dunno what to do with her at home except her play mat and talking to her etc
 
@coachlittlez23 Think of it this way, self playing boosts confidence and independence. They learn problem solving, fine motor skills etc. You don't have to leave the room!

Also, remember that you're human too! It's okah to leave them so you can decompress!
 
@coachlittlez23 I had this same issue. I was feeling so exhausted with playing so much and I felt like a bad parent if I didn’t engage with her constantly! I’d usually follow my girls lead. She recently turned 3 months today but for the past few weeks, she’d sleep-play-eat or eat-play-sleep depending on the day.

As of recently I’m not sure what’s changed but she’s been getting sleepier and cannot stay awake for the whole hour/hour and a half so I let her sleep when she’s showing signs but this means less play time. Sometimes when she wasn’t crying and didn’t seem sleepy I’d just lay down with her and we’d watch the ceiling fan spin.

I think as long as you’re next to them quietly watching them “play” it’s okay and you don’t always have to be playing with them, let them play or chill out on their own. We also like to let our baby play in the crib with her piano she can kick for music and we put high contrast images on one side of here so she has them to look at.
 
@coachlittlez23 We usually rotate through. Walks. Talking with LO. Contrast cards. Books. Listening to lullaby. Taking a tour of our house for the umpteth time. His kick and play. Tummy time.

Each play time, I guess he is too young to get I, but we tell him we love him and he smiles each time.
 
@coachlittlez23 My kids are going to be 4 and 2 in June. I just never unsubbed from here. Just want to assure you from the other side- I PROMISE it is okay if you're not constantly engaging with your potato baby. You're still in a pretty boring stage for interacting with the baby. The way you're feeling is totally normal. Your husband is absolutely correct that it's fine to let her chill in her play gym or bouncer for a little bit while you do whatever, even if it's scroll your phone for a few minutes. It's okay! You're obviously aware of child development and want your baby to be properly stimulated. At this age, just looking around at everything is plenty of stimulation for them. My son was a pandemic baby so we were at home unless we were out doing stroller walks. I remember feeling this same guilt. It helped to go through a mini checklist during the "play" part of the wake window- a few minutes of tummy time? Read a board book or two aloud? Maybe sing a quick nursery rhyme, try patty cake, or just blather on in baby talk about absolutely nothing? Great. You did it! Now scroll your phone or look up at the tv guilt free while the baby chills until the next nap. And I promise it gets so much easier as your baby gets older and more interactive/able to do more with toys.
 
@coachlittlez23 I play “the laundry game” lay them down and just jiggle some laundry over their head while you fold it. Narrate what it is; let them touch the fabric, name the color. Idk my kid laughs and laughs and I get to do something productive. Also have used the bouncer and play gym plenty with the baby there for a bit on their own. It’s good for them to have independent time.
 
@coachlittlez23 Mine is also 3 months. I pop mine in a bouncer or on her play mat while I’m doing things like tidying up, doing the washing or loading the dishwasher. Even showering. I just put some baby music in the background and sing along or talk to her and tell her what I’m doing. I don’t do that every wake hour sometimes we play. Sometimes I’ll just leave her on her playmat to look at toys by herself. I think it’s also important that they have some independent play too. As long as she’s calm and happy
 
@coachlittlez23 Read about "blue sky thinking" in babies. It basically means that it is GOOD to let your baby alone (but supervised) thinking in their stuff. It is good for their brain. When I am bored of my baby, I say "it is time for blue sky thinking!".
 
@coachlittlez23 I'm reasonably far out of this stage, but I remember reading part of Janet Lansbury's book when my daughter was about the age of yours that was so freeing to me.

I found it gave me permission to give myself a break to avoid burnout.

For babies, the world is new and everything is interesting, and there is benefit in letting them do self-directed "play" even if it's not what we think play looks like. An excerpt from the book:

“Truthfully, babies don't need us to expend our energy occupying their time. In fact, keeping a baby busy undermines her natural desire to be an initiator of her own activities and absorb the world on her terms.

“Babies are self-learners, and what they truly need (and pays enormous developmental benefits) is the time, freedom and trust to just ‘be.’

“We forget as adults that every mundane detail of the world is new and stimulating ot an infant – every shape, contrast, and sound, even the slightest movement is fascinating. Life is a playground. So infants are ‘playing’ when they look round, listen, feel and smell the air when they have the freedom to reach, grasp, twist their bodies, and think... think... think.”

...

“Respecting these important personal moments when our infant is engaged in thought -- *not interrupting* -- encourages longer periods of play that can extend to hours as a baby grows, through toddlerhood and beyond. Babies tend to be more deeply engaged when they are trusted with their own play agendas rather than responding to ours.... they develop strong cognitive learning skills and nurture their natural abilities to explore, imagine and create.”

Basically, you're good. Don't feel guilty about not doing absolutely everything. You will have lots of opportunities to do things that will help her development without you stressing over it.
 
@coachlittlez23 At 9 weeks my kids were more interested in the ceiling fan than me. I let them sit in the bouncer or lay on the playard and just chatted to them while I did household chores. Sometimes I moved them around to different rooms (bedroom, living room, kitchen) for a change of scenery. The days can get boring at that age, but it’s so nice too. Soak up the relaxing monotony of it all, once they’re mobile all bets are off 😅
 
@coachlittlez23 Dear new parents:

Your parents did none of this with you. The term “tummy time” didn’t exist before 1994. It was due to the “Back to Sleep” APA campaign saying babies should sleep on their backs not tummies. Then tummy time was recommended, but it still took a while to become “the norm” since it took time to see the benefits of tummy time. Same with high contrast cards and everything else that is deemed “necessary” now.

Give yourself a break, you are doing just fine! As long as you are doing it and your baby continues to thrive and meet milestones (which aren’t set in stone like the word implies), you are doing great! Your baby might be early in some and late in others, that’s all normal. You might not do cards one week, that’s also fine. A child’s brain is always growing and making new connections, just interact with your baby, tell them what you are doing and why. Show them different things, it all counts in helping make those neural connections.

A friends kid didn’t learn to walk for the longest time, well beyond the age a kid should be walking. He just scooted himself around on his butt. Then after test and they found nothing wrong. Doctor finally said from the start as long as he’s meeting other milestones, don’t worry and that he will walk when he has reasons to walk. Then a few months after his second birthday, he got up and walked to get a toy.. Yes he was that late and he almost completely bypassed crawling (that only lasted a month before he learned to scoot. He’s 9 now and the third fasted runner in the class. He had some fine motor issues due to not crawling (that helps strengthen the fingers, hand, and arms), but occupational therapy got him caught up quick. Now his parents laugh that the not walking was just the first real sign of his “when I’m ready” personality.
 
@coachlittlez23 I have a 6-month-old, but all babies are different, so take my advice as a hypothetical. I didn't realize entertaining the baby constantly would be a problem until it became one. My husband and I entertained him so much through the first 3 months. Now that we try to get him to play independently, he fusses and wants us to entertain him. He's not even a velcro baby, he just wants our attention constantly. If we look away from him, he'll cry. It's okay to let them play or stare at the fan while you do something else. I wish we had done so a little more.
 
@coachlittlez23 Really at any age, if baby is willing to have some independent time I would go for it. Absolutely nothing wrong with (supervised) independent play time and it’s great for their imagination and development!
 
@coachlittlez23 Mine is 11 weeks. What we do is independent play after we get out of bed and she’s eaten. I brush my teeth, eat breakfast, zone out and try to wake up. She’ll do that for 30 min to 1hr then nap. Next play time I’ll sing, read a book, do tummy time with her. The next one is when we’ll go do errands or go for a walk. After that her Dad’s home and we start over again. He plays with her, reads, does more tummy time, go for another walk, etc.

We’ll also wear her while we cook or clean dishes, and we try new things every few days to see if she’s reached new milestones or started new skills.
 
@coachlittlez23 I had the same feelings with my first baby. It's hard. I think it's universal that we all feel we could do more. But now that I have my second baby. I can tell you that it's all fine. I too was an entertainer all the time. But baby will be fine. Give them some entertainment when you can and otherwise let them see things on their own.
We hung up tinfoil on strings in the ceiling, ordered some helium balloons and tied it to babies hands for them to enjoy bouncing. Letting baby Going on walks and seeing flowers and trees also helps. Even my chores. Baby lives watching me fold laundry.
The world is filled with entertainment, we just sometimes forget it can be done. I know I did.
 
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