@daxen Yes! It’s not just feed them some crap and do your own thing all day. There’s so much. And the emotional load is EXHAUSTINGGGG. Like did they get enough one on one time? Did they play outside or somewhere to get energy out today? Did they sleep well? Did they nap? Have we done anything new and educational this week? When is the last time they pooped? How am I going to fit potty training in? Etc etc and more never-ending etc’s
How do I tell my husband to have a little more empathy for me as a sahm?
- Thread starter cliffco
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@daxen Exactly!!! It’s easy to plop them in front of a tv and keep them chill while feeding them treats all day, because you’re the novel parent and they’re like “holy shit dad let’s us watch tv all day and eat cookies, I feel like I’m in a trance!!” But if anyone with half a conscience did that on a regular basis, they would be actively harming their children and letting them down by offering no enrichment or stimulation which they NEED. So men that do this are like “idk why you complain, we had an easy day
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”@annetteaa 100% this. A friend’s husband (very generous paternity leave) talked about his 6 months off after his wife went back. I know this man plopped the baby in a bouncer next to him playing video games all day.
masterbuilder1769
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coolman234567890
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snickeringfox
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@sander This really is the way to go. My jaw just about dropped to the floor when I read “not using your time wisely” in OPs post. If my husband ever said that to me I’d literally do nothing all day but take care of the kids (feed, change diapers, put down for naps, entertain/keep safe) to give him a taste of what else wouldn’t get done that I usually do during the day lol maybe I’m just petty 
@snickeringfox Ok so I stopped reading part way through because I was immediately like well, he needs to wash his own uniform because he's expecting way too much...
But now I read your comment and the quote and my brain quickly snapped to "oh hell no"... That's ridiculous. I'd be furious! I really feel for OP
It's clear her husband has no clue what is all involved with her caring for the kids and managing the house all day long. Like until he can let the little one suckle on his own damn nipples then he can wash his own fing laundry
But now I read your comment and the quote and my brain quickly snapped to "oh hell no"... That's ridiculous. I'd be furious! I really feel for OP
It's clear her husband has no clue what is all involved with her caring for the kids and managing the house all day long. Like until he can let the little one suckle on his own damn nipples then he can wash his own fing laundry
snickeringfox
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@cliffco This kind of attitude really, really upsets me. Like I’m angry on your behalf right now.
Does this man do anything besides show up to work? My god. Does he have any idea how grueling it is to be a parent? Any experience? Because from the sounds of this post, he’s sleeping, waking up, going to work, and then what? Like, how do you have eyes and not see how much work childcare is?
I don’t think you can tell him anything. I think your partner either does not have your best interests at heart and does not care for you as a person but as someone who gives him what he wants. There are no words that change someone like this. He either decides to change or he doesn’t. How much time you give him is up to you, but unless you’d like to add “educate husband on how to be a human being with empathy” to your current chore list, I’d basically act like he’s dead.
I am sorry for how you are suffering. I see your effort. Your children see your effort. You are doing your best and no one is saying thank you. So, from a fellow SAHP, thank you. Thank you for being with the children and giving it your all. You’re doing great and I hope you get a break soon.
Does this man do anything besides show up to work? My god. Does he have any idea how grueling it is to be a parent? Any experience? Because from the sounds of this post, he’s sleeping, waking up, going to work, and then what? Like, how do you have eyes and not see how much work childcare is?
I don’t think you can tell him anything. I think your partner either does not have your best interests at heart and does not care for you as a person but as someone who gives him what he wants. There are no words that change someone like this. He either decides to change or he doesn’t. How much time you give him is up to you, but unless you’d like to add “educate husband on how to be a human being with empathy” to your current chore list, I’d basically act like he’s dead.
I am sorry for how you are suffering. I see your effort. Your children see your effort. You are doing your best and no one is saying thank you. So, from a fellow SAHP, thank you. Thank you for being with the children and giving it your all. You’re doing great and I hope you get a break soon.
@antnf8900 Thank you so much. This actually made me tear up, it’s really nice to hear someone empathize and understand me. Thank you
@antnf8900 “Educate husband on how to be a human being with empathy” 
end thread. This is what it always comes down to. You can’t beg for your humanity from a person who already decided that you don’t actually matter.
end thread. This is what it always comes down to. You can’t beg for your humanity from a person who already decided that you don’t actually matter.