How do I tell my husband to have a little more empathy for me as a sahm?

[cliffco]

Recently he was upset that I forgot to wash his uniform for work. I’ve been exhausted because my 1 year old is teething and suckling all night and my 2 year old is hyper af.

So I forgot to wash his clothes the night before. I woke up at 5 am and the pants he did have clean had a hole in them. So sewed them up, washed his under shirt by hand and made him lunch while he got ready.

Later that day he said he was annoyed because I almost made him late because I don’t use my time wisely at home. This made me upset because he thinks I’m relaxing at home all day. Not realizing I’m on the clock 24/7 and hardly sleeping. And somehow he claims he sleeps less than I do.

This really upsets me because this is like the 100th time I’ve had to explain to him that I’m doing my best and I can’t always get things done like a stepford wife.

 

[lostandinsecure]

@cliffco Sounds like he is ready to wash his own work clothes.

 

[solomon97]

@lostandinsecure Also, buy a second uniform? I’m not condoning the behavior but just offering a solution that might diffuse the immediate situation…

 

[kikizmommy]

@lostandinsecure Bingo. Time to share the load. His work clothes are his responsibility, just like his job is his responsibility.

 

[meown1]

@lostandinsecure Absolutely! My partner does a lot of the wash and all the folding. He knows I can’t get anything folded with a toddler around. He usually does it after the kids and I go to sleep. Have him try to so a few loads of laundry with your toddlers and see how it goes.

 

[msmistk0]

@meown1 Lol he can’t even do it without the toddlers

 

[mollyg]

@lostandinsecure I can already hear him belittle her over him working hard for the money and it being her duty to

 

[coolman234567890]

@lostandinsecure Yeah, wtf?! Your job is way more work than his!

 

[katrina2017]

@lostandinsecure Came to the comments to recommend the same.

 

[matthewvag]

@lostandinsecure Yep, mine washes his own work clothes

 

[rachane]

@cliffco Response: I’ll take care of the kids and house, the least you can do is keep yourself and clothes cleaned and also feed yourself. If he wants a mother, tell him to live with her.

 

[josie129]

@rachane AND THE CHOIR SAID AMEN

 

[msmistk0]

@josie129 Amen

 

[ej99]

@rachane He wants a mother who he can verbally and emotionally abuse, have sex with, and then ignore when he’s doing his own thing, I’m sure. I’ve read this story 10000 times sadly.

 

[scribbler546]

@rachane This is the way

 

[katrina2017]

@rachane Seriously some of these men have less responsibility than if they were living alone.

 

[sander]

@cliffco Pick a day he's home from work and leave for the whole day and let him see what it's really like to be home all day with two small children. Repeat as often as necessary for him to understand that being home is not a vacation.

He's a grown man, he is perfectly capable of washing his own work clothes and packing his own lunch, he needs to be a partner not another child.

 

[asing]

@sander The problem is men like this will either ignore the kids or ignore the housework… they won’t really get it.

 

[annetteaa]

@asing I remember that unpopular opinion posts where the man said staying home with kids and getting everything done was easy and I just scratched my head like, I know he just plopped those kids infront of a screen for 10 hours and fed them fish crackers for breakfast lunch and dinner.

 

[daxen]

@annetteaa You forgot to add the part where they also somehow get to feel zero guilt about this behavior???? Like they do not sit up at night after babe is asleep thinking… man I really should have fed them pretzels and some berries that third time around instead of just goldfish.