How can you afford it?

[suzannel]

@puddingtader I think what it comes down to is how much “support” you have outside of you and your partner to help raise any kids. This can be financial, if both parents make good money then daycare is an option. If one parent makes really good money then it can make more sense for the other to stay home with the kids. If this doesn’t apply to you, maybe you have one or two sets of grandparents that live close that help with childcare. Or maybe it’s even a close knit group of friends that does a nanny share.

But that’s for one kid. People who are paying for childcare will be more limited than those who have a STAP or grandparents involved in childcare as far as adding more kids.

It seems to me a totally understandable point of view for many young and middle adults to not be having kids. If you have two partners working “ok” jobs and aren’t close with family for relationship or geographical reasons, it would sound insane.

I don’t have close family, but my partner has a job that meant we were able to afford a house a couple years ago with a great interest rate. He makes enough that I can stay home with the kids, and we can afford a car that can carry all of us. But even with one kid most jobs that were options to me would barely cover daycare. Even when we had access to daycare on the military base (less expensive) I didn’t want to be apart from my child while working to make net $200/month. And some families might need that difference.

 

[folkie]

@puddingtader We honestly can’t really afford it. We scrimp and save and borrow and once the kids are in school we will be able to both work and hopefully pay off the debt quickly.

 

[forgiven_ent]

@puddingtader We make it work. Most of the estimates for raising children are laughably high. I bought nearly all of my children’s clothes used and had hand me downs.

Also we live in a low cost of living area. I stay home so there’s no issues around child care.

My argument is that they don’t want to have to have kids for whatever reason and this justifies their decision or solidifies it even more.

 

[missh84]

@forgiven_ent I have to agree. We have the same setup here and really try hard to provide experiences around our home and family rather than brand new items, twice yearly big vacations, year round sports, etc. We also do some one off things, like a big summer camp for one year, or a trip to a water park one year, or new rain boots one year.

We also really prioritize closely monitoring the kids and their interactions when they’re young so they learn good social manners with each other other and their varying ages. It helps so much to do things at home when the family all enjoys time together with each other!

We personally have had help along the way some years with shoes, a quarter cow, a family vacation, etc from grandparents as random gifts. And that can be really huge! But ultimately we added one kid at a time until we decided to stop for financial, emotional, time limitations.