Freezer Stash & MIL

[bastarr]

UGH

MIL took care of LO for the first time today…
We were gone for 6ish hours

Came home and my freezer stash is at 0!!!!

There is absolutely no way she drank 30+ oz of milk in 6 hours.

She formula fed her kids so maybe she doesn’t know how much goes into producing BM? Idk. Just feel like maybe they were careless and a lot of milk went to waste today.

Don’t know what I’m looking for. Just need to vent.

My partner thinks I’m overreacting

UPDATE: wow, Thank you all SO much for your words of comfort and for making feel less crazy about the rage I felt. MIL was making high volume bottles and discarding what was left over. She also said that when she was thawing 2 of the bags, the bags ripped…

I don’t believe there was any malice behind the mishandling.

I’ve decided to “let it go” but not without taking it as a learning experience…

I don’t want any momma’s out there to go through this so here is what I took from the experience:

1. Expect that the person taking care of your LO knows NOTHING about handling BM. ( I failed to leave instructions on feeding guidelines and BM handling)
2. I will no longer be filling up the freezer bags to the full 6 oz capacity. Will limit it to 3-4 oz per bag.
3. Leaving MIL with prepared bottles.

Again, thank you all for your fierce protection and validating my feelings. It’s difficult when your partner doesn’t understand. We have had a bumpy PP road due to my hormone imbalance.

 

[bflem1986]

@bastarr Did you ask her where it all went? Were the bags in the trash? That's a weirdly large amount of milk to be gone in 6 hours

 

[peregrin]

@bastarr AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!

That is so, so frustrating. But even 30+ oz of formula in 6h seems like an insane amount to me, too. Like… how? I’m thinking the only way this happened was a lot of milk wasted.

 

[wicamper]

@bastarr I would be so pissed

 

[katrina2017]

@bastarr 30oz would have been 7 feeds for my son. I’d be furious. Where did it go? Your child had to be vomiting it up if she fed them all of that.

 

[ooconvert]

@katrina2017 If she is like my MIL, she put it all in bottles but threw it out when baby didnt finish the bottle.

OP, are you freezing the amount you want fed in one feeding in a single bag? Or are you filling the bag to full and then freezing? For me, I stopped putting more than 3.5 oz in a bag because my baby wasn't taking more than that at once EVER, so MIL knew to only warm one bag per feed when she babysat. Way less milk went to waste that way.

 

[gtcc]

@ooconvert Yup I’ve caught MIL and my own mother throwing out the leftover milk.

 

[wheels56]

@ooconvert Yep, this is great advice that I learned the hard way. I just do 3oz or 1-1.5oz per freezer bag. The 1oz ones are like little top offs that I don’t mind getting wasted.

 

[jonathan_gale]

@bastarr You are not overreacting. I wish there was a good metaphor to communicate to non nursing folks how devastating it is to waste/lose milk that your body created. Like… I don’t know… it’s the equivalent of planning the week’s groceries, shopping for them, then your car breaking down on the way back and everything spoils before you’re home. Except 10 times that!! Sending you good vibes OP. Don’t stress yourself out trying to recover all of that quickly or completely. Have faith it certainly won’t happen again either

 

[angelchurch]

@jonathan_gale I read something once likening it to being stranded in the desert with nothing but the tears you can cry to drink, that that’s how valuable and hard earned it is. They described it far more eloquently, but it always stuck with me.

 

[snickeringfox]

@angelchurch That’s actually a really good analogy.

 

[gtcc]

@jonathan_gale I always say, “that milk is worth an hour of my sleep.” I look very exhausted so it usually drives the point home.

 

[matthew555]

@gtcc This made me crack up

 

[rapujols]

@jonathan_gale I saw someone describe pumping at work like this, and I feel like it works here: “Imagine you like to drink coffee at work every day. Now imagine that in order to have coffee, you have to bring the machine with you from home - make sure you have the power cord, coffee pot, filters, coffee, and probably some backup filters and coffee just in case. Then you have to go a bathroom or supply closet and set everything up (don’t let any pieces touch anything else, ew germs), brew your coffee, break everything down, and go back to your desk. But before you settle in, make sure you find a sink where you can scrub all the pieces with soap and hot water, and make sure you have a safe place for them to dry so they won’t get knocked over or touched.

Now, do that two to three more times. Every day.”

 

[dtyzikab]

@bastarr Ask what happened, they need to explain where it all went. That’s not ok. And then their behavior needs to be corrected. They can’t be doing that ever

 

[k_ann]

@bastarr You need to ask what happened to that milk and give us an update. That is a lot of milk gone in a couple hours.

 

[edtheviking]

@k_ann ^ THIS!!! I NEED an update

 

[marlow7]

@bastarr Did they leave some in the fridge? Or, take some home with them?? Super weird it’s all gone just like that.

 

[llucasl]

@marlow7 I’m imagining this MIL running away with 20+oz of milk

 

[estpet]

@bastarr I want to fight your MIL in a Wal-Mart parking lot