dOn'T sTrESs, iT's bAD fOR tHe BaBY

[nosferatu616]

@parnellj83 This falls under the same category of advice as "sleep when baby sleeps." Like sure fine idea, easier said than done!

 

[emmatcheau]

@parnellj83 Omg my doctor asked me if I was under any stress and I was like “well I have a 4 year old….” Impossible to maintain my composure 100% of time. Mommy is cranky AF

 

[parnellj83]

@emmatcheau Who isn't under any stress?

 

[emmatcheau]

@parnellj83 It’s literally a pandemic

 

[radamelluthfi]

@parnellj83 Im so sick of being told thissssssss whenever I try and express what is bothering me. Like as if holding it in is making it any better!!!! Just let me vent and validate me.... don't tell me to stop worrying cause now all I'm going to do is worry about the fact that I can't externalize my emotions.... and stress that if I stress I'm killing my child... makes me want to scream.

 

[yuqingeng2005]

@parnellj83 My answer to the stress line was always “Then why are you stressing me out?!”

 

[lardass]

@parnellj83 The most stressed I've felt since finding out I'm pregnant is when people have told me not to be stressed.

I am in a full time job, I have bills to pay, I've moved home during my pregnancy, and I have GAD. Of course I am going to be stressed DeBrAAAAA- like 99% of people who are in the same boat.

 

[parnellj83]

@lardass Same here. I have anxiety and my biggest epiphany in therapy was to not hold emotions in and "befriend" it. When people tell me to snap out of it it triggers the opposite effect on me.

 

[mackenzies_mommy]

@parnellj83 TW: death
My (19F) best friend (19M) lost his mom a few months ago, and honest to god it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever stood witness to. My husband and I had him move in with us, because he lost his mom and his home to a house fire. My heart broke for him and the night it happened I drove to the hospital at over 100 mph. I didn’t even know my car could do that. I threw up eight times that night between hugging him and trying to figure out what was going on. That was the most stressful night of my life. You know what didn’t change? The baby. I was 20 something weeks along and could still feel her wiggle and kick just as much. Her heartbeat was just as strong as always. Even though I was breaking down emotionally, she was doing just fine and I am so incredibly grateful. Our bodies and our babies are stronger than we sometimes give them credit for. After going through that, I haven’t had a second thought about normal every day stress affecting my pregnancy, because I know I have a kickass little girl who is determined to survive and that gives me more peace than any breathing technique ever will (although, I do support those for everybody, deep breathing is good for mom! Baby might be okay but you deserve to be okay too!)

 

[parnellj83]

@mackenzies_mommy You're so strong and such a good friend!

 

[lb11]

@parnellj83 I think that it's a case of broken telephone. So hear me out. My mom is old school Asian and she's very superstitious. She told me I can't eat bean sprouts during pregnancy because it's too "fresh" (the Vietnamese word doesn't translate well so this is the closest I can get). Naturally I didn't believe her. When I told my friend this story (while eating raw beansprout) she told me that I'm actually supposed to stay away from it because it harbours lots of bacteria. I looked it up and she's right. And so was my mom except that her reasoning is completely wacko. I think this is just what got passed along to her and somewhere down the line the translation or communication got twisted.

So when anyone tells me that stress affects the baby, I don't deny that there isn't a truth to it. Science has proven that our baby in the womb can hear and feel us. Even before they are born we are giving them an insight into how we live our lives and I have to believe that those first sensory feelings make some kind of impact. Big or small I don't know.

 

[parnellj83]

@lb11 You can easily stop eating sprouts and but you can't just flip a switch and stop being stressed and be happy. If you do that, you're repressing emotions.

Can you decrease stress by taking measures? Of course and you should do that! One of those measures isn't guilt tripping the mom by telling her she's harming her baby and any therapist will tell you that.

Plus, it's scientifically wrong that normal levels of stress affects the baby and what's unhealthy is to repress emotions.

 

[hcrider]

@parnellj83 I think it's a fair comment. Stress is bad for anyone. I can see how out of nowhere it might be patronising or if you were grieving or going through a huge crisis. And no one can just flick a switch and be happy and calm. But sometimes acknowledging your upset isn't useful can help. When someone tells me this I usually just think yeah you're right lol. It doesn't undo the problem but puts it in perspective.

 

[kdm]

@parnellj83 It’s my first year teaching, and to say it’s stressful is an understatement. I literally get filled with rage when people tell me it’s bad for the baby.

 

[fullofredgoo]

@parnellj83 Ugh I hate this. Hormones made me ten times more anxious and plus I’m anxious about my baby. So don’t tell me not to stress - it doesn’t help! I can’t help but worry and baby wjll be fine

 

[parnellj83]

@fullofredgoo But you should be worried about being worried /s

 

[fullofredgoo]

@parnellj83

 

[nycticebus]

@parnellj83 Thank you