dOn'T sTrESs, iT's bAD fOR tHe BaBY

[parnellj83]

@joy_bar Really makes you feel like an incubator, doesn't it? That's another layer to this.

 

[butterscoth]

@parnellj83 People are full of unsolicited advice around pregnancy. It’s the fucking worst.

 

[alice96]

@parnellj83 I had to go to the ER(I live in Canada) because my anxiety and depression was incredible during the 10-15wks period of my pregnancy. Not once did any doctor there tell me that “stress is not good for the baby”. They evaluated my mental health, did what they could to calm me down and then I had a psychiatric appt. within a week to prescribe me a medication to help with the situation. I was having horrible panic attacks and hyperventilating. According to every ultrasound I’ve had since, everything has been perfectly normal with baby.

 

[parnellj83]

@alice96 And I'm sure they'll be super healthy!

 

[jazznkev]

@parnellj83 I wholeheartedly understand as someone who planned a wedding, bought a house, moved cities, and hired a lawyer to keep said house all while pregnant. Stress is inevitable but can actually help your developing baby. Cortisol is the primary hormone released when stressed, but coincidentally cortisol also helps with baby lung development. My doctor advised that just so long as my stress isn’t leading to other negative behaviors/coping mechanisms, stress won’t hurt the baby. 36w5d and baby boy is meeting all his growth targets, I don’t have preeclampsia, and my labs are all fine.

 

[parnellj83]

@jazznkev This is cool

Cortisol is the primary hormone released when stressed, but coincidentally cortisol also helps with baby lung development.

 

[palabra]

@parnellj83 Yep.
My mom is like "stress is bad, you should leave your husband because he didn't do the dishes"

Well yes, he should have done the dishes. But this coming from a woman who had two kids, got divorced while pregnant with the 2nd (me) then continued to have two more kids with the same man while in custody court.

Uhm wut.

 

[bextermojica]

@palabra yes, leaving your spouse while pregnant is sure not to cause you any stress at all /s

 

[bextermojica]

@parnellj83 It means extreme stress. Like going through your pregnancy in a war zone. Or if you are having panic attacks, you should probably get treatment. It's not about normal work deadlines stress or raising your other kids who are basically healthy just a normal amount annoying.

 

[phoenixwell]

@parnellj83 I hate when people tell me this. What about me? What about my stress and how I'm feeling? Am I just some host body to you whose feelings and emotions aren't valid?

 

[parnellj83]

@phoenixwell Definitely makes you feel like an incubator. I'm sure having a robot mother that sweeps emotions under the carpet is healthy for the baby /s

 

[simplyhis]

@parnellj83 I was told by everyone but not my dr the whole first tri to stop stressing.. like excuse you I do what I need

 

[bextermojica]

@simplyhis My husband does it the right way. Instead of "don't stress" he just notices when I start to stress and interrupts it to tell me I'm doing great and he's there with me every step of the way, that I am not going to do any of it alone. That's how you reduce someone's stress, not by telling them to stop having an emotion they are experiencing.

 

[sonicblu]

@bextermojica Gold star to your hubby.

 

[parnellj83]

@bextermojica That's exactly right!

 

[mamabdog]

@parnellj83 I once read somewhere that it's actually good for your baby for you to experience a moderate amount of stress. I swear I did. Haha Couldn't tell you where but stopped googling after I read that.

 

[parnellj83]

@mamabdog That sounds accurate, especially because if you say that you have no stress, you're probably repressing emotions. I happen to believe that repressed emotion ends up in a mental breakdown or physical illness

 

[a_living_sacrifice]

@parnellj83 When I was pregnant (1st pregnancy) I got cheated on. My boyfriend of 3.5 years cheated on me and left me for another girl in a different state. I was stressed out to the max. Couldn’t eat or sleep. Cried for weeks. People kept telling me “don’t worry. It’s bad for the baby.” Which made me stress even more because I thought I was damaging my daughter. I ended up avoided literally everyone for a while. Took time to myself (plus my dog) and it helped a ton. Sometimes being alone is the best medicine.

 

[parnellj83]

@a_living_sacrifice F that! So what are you supposed to do, pretend nothing happened? That sounds healthy

 

[jtagtp]

@parnellj83 Just saying, I've been under a HUGE amount of stress during this pregnancy. Had a messy, 2 year court case against my eldest son's dad for custody end jut a few days ago (I'm nearly 38 weeks now), we were told a few months back we need to move out as our landlords need to sell our home and the end of our eviction notice is about a week after the baby will be born, so we've also had financial issues as all the money we had saved for having a new baby is having to go on deposits for houses, but there's no houses available due to covid and the ones that do come up on the market either get taken before we can even view them, or you're going up against 10 other people to get the place. So my partner and I have had quite a strained relationship due to all the stress, which is understandable. Our youngest is also currently going through referrals as he might be on the spectrum too.

So we've had stress on top of stress that's been really, really difficult at times, that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I am still carrying a happy, healthy baby who is always breakdancing, who's not had any problems or issues throughout, and I'm going to be having him a week on Wednesday (I have to have sections due to medical reasons but that's nothing to do with the stress lol).

So, yes, try relax as much as possible for your own sanity, but unless you're really in a position where your life is in danger or something like that, you don't need to stress that your stress will harm your baby. Sending love to all the other pregnant folks out there. Remember, whatever you're going through is temporary and you've already survived all the other stressful stuff in your life thus far.