Does your toddler play independently when they wake up in the morning?

[carrie1973]

I’ve heard of toddlers and babies that play on their own for upwards of 30 minutes or more when they wake up in the morning, allowing parental units to continue snoozing peacefully. If you have one of those kids, how’d you get there? Like…both what coaching or modeling steps did you take and also what’s the room setup (e.g. crib or floor bed? Blackout or no or night light? etc…). I have a 2.5 yo and a 4 month old. The 2.5 yo will frequently play independently during daytime hours but never when he wakes up in the morning. The 4 month old can already entertain himself a bit so I’m hoping we can mold that into a useful morning skill eventually. And someday I hope they’ll entertain each other in the morning too. But grateful for any tips and insight in the meantime!

 

[grace4nan]

@carrie1973 My son will lay quietly for a maximum of 1 minute before calling out to us. Maybe it would be better if he was in a bed but right now, that's the situation.

 

[roseofsharon38]

@grace4nan my 5.5 year old who has an okay to wake light will not get out of bed without us.

I've tried he just won't get out on his own

 

[carrie1973]

@roseofsharon38 Oh wow. Like he just waits until one of you comes to get him out of bed?

 

[roseofsharon38]

@carrie1973 Yeah. At this point it’s a blessing/curse. No 4am in my room but like dude. Chill in your room for 20 would be great at 6:30am while I exercise

 

[carrie1973]

@grace4nan For more context, our kid is on a floor bed. So that doesn’t guarantee a peaceful morning either!

 

[wrm11]

@carrie1973 Our youngest just started playing in his room quietly when he wakes up. He’s 4. But our oldest loved to play by himself and would never wake me up unless he had to. I think it just depends on the kid. Our youngest thinks if he’s awake, everyone should be awake.

 

[carrie1973]

@wrm11 Lol that’s our 2.5 year old to a T. Thanks for the perspective!

 

[sexyme1]

@carrie1973 My daughter started doing this around the age of 4. It was when we introduced the hatch light & sound machine into her room. The light set to be off during the night and we let her choose which color would signify that it’s ok to get out of bed in the morning and play quietly in her room (she chose blue). Then she chose pink to signify when it’s ok to leave her room. If she wakes up during the night and the light is off, she knows she needs to go back to bed (unless she needs to go potty, is sick/hurt, etc.)

Some kids may be able to grasp this concept earlier, but 4 felt like the right age for us. She took to it right away and now loves her special quiet time she gets each morning before everyone else wakes up.

 

[carrie1973]

@sexyme1 Oooh I like the kid participation for the win here! Nicely done! Part of me thinks I went way too hard way too early in trying to give my kid independence. He’s been in a floor bed since about age 1 and we’ve been using his hatch as an okay-to-wake clock for the better part of a year now, with red for overnight (he doesn’t like it to be totally dark in his room) and green for when it’s “morning” and “ok” to get up. He either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care (I suspect the latter, he’s a smart cookie), and comes to our room whenever he wakes. Actually I know he doesn’t care, because he’s told me before “it’s morning!” when the green light comes on. We always walk him back to his room, but one of us has to stay there with him to keep him there until the green light comes on. Maybe we'll start talking more with him about how our mornings as a family should go and have him weigh in on how his light should be involved as you did with your daughter. And also - maybe I can be patient until he's a bit older/more mature too.

 

[tozer]

@sexyme1 This is exactly what we do for our almost 3 year old. It works great.

 

[andre5555]

@carrie1973 My almost 2.5 year old plays quietly/independently when she wakes up and until she falls asleep. She's still in a crib and we use a Hatch light and she understands that red means sleep/quiet time and green means mommy/daddy are coming to get her. But honestly I don't think any of that (beyond the concept of the light) has anything to do with it. I think she's just always been a unicorn sleeper and it was the luck of the draw.

 

[carrie1973]

@andre5555 Aaahh sweet luck! Genuinely happy for y’all!

 

[emekrus]

@carrie1973 Yes, my son began really enjoying his independent play around the time he turned 3 years old. He now wakes up and quietly plays with his toys for about 30-60 min in the morning. I also have an 18 month old who absolutely does not play independently lol. So I think it’s more about the age and phase that they’re in. My 3 year old will play lots of make-believe games and narrate or sing to himself while he plays. It’s so fun to watch!

 

[carrie1973]

@emekrus Aw that does sound like fun! We're starting to see some of that kind of play in our guy so maybe there's hope in our relatively near future. Thanks for sharing!

 

[lanam]

@carrie1973 My 20 month old has always done this. He never cried when he woke up even as a baby. He’s speech delayed so maybe he just doesn’t get it (calling for attention). When I go in his room to get him he is happy to see me but just keeps playing. He has a floor bed and Montessori room. I am very attentive if he ever does cry (probably because he doesn’t do it very much), so I think he’s really confident and knows me or dad will be there.
Before the floor bed, we’d wake up and put him in his play pen for independent play every morning while we fed the dogs and got dressed. So he’s used to waking up and doing his own thing. He doesn’t have blackout curtains so he can see his toys in the morning. I think it’s just a personality thing honestly.

 

[carrie1973]

@lanam Thanks, this is helpful perspective. I agree personality likely has a lot to do with it. And it also sounds like you and his dad have done a great job setting up a great morning routine for him!

 

[mikeydb]

@carrie1973 Our 2.5-year-old has started to recently, because every night when I say goodnight, I remind him not to leave his room and play until someone comes to get him. Maybe a week since the last time he's shown up upstairs at the foot of our bed yelling "IT'S LIGHT OUTSIDE!". (We live in Northern Yerp, it's barely light outside...ever.)

If we ever get around to it, we'll program his Hatch to change colors on the weekends to signal he can leave.

 

[carrie1973]

@mikeydb Lol nice! And you're right, maybe we need to give some simple, direct expectation setting a go. Thanks!

 

[katrina2017]

@carrie1973 We dropped the nap this week and implemented quiet time instead. Now that he has had more practice enjoying his own company, he is more inclined to go play now. I do have to go in there and say good morning, turn the lamps on, and tell him the game plan (play mama is going back to bed) lol

So I’d say the trick is mastering independent play.