Hi friends. My son is currently living with my parents. It’s a long story but I visit every weekend or he comes to my place every weekend. I call him every night and talk to him. I try to be as involved as possible with the current situation. I love 2 hrs away.
I understand that he has a lot of big feelings rn and it’s difficult for him, as a 6 year old, to make sense of them or manage them appropriately.
My parents have never been very emotionally supportive and they’re really big on discipline but I try to reason with them and advocate for my son. Personally, growing up under their roof, the constant discipline I.e. grounding, taking things away, taking everything out of my room including ym door and making me earn them back, taking away events…it stressed me out too much and my behavior didn’t get better it made me less likely to do what they asked of me. Granted, I got in trouble for the littlest things. I really was not a bad kid but they thought I was.
They do they same thing to my son and I try to explain to them that that doesn’t help. He struggles with his behavior in school like not paying attention or being goofy in class. So for example, he had 2 “bad” days in a row this week. Monday and Tuesday. He got home yesterday and had to go to bed early…6pm. AND they tried to take away gymnastics on Thursday. I spoke to my dad over the phone with my so listening because I need him to know someone is on his side and he’s not alone in this. I explained to my dad that I’m paying $80 a month for gymnastics and it’s not only meant for fun. It helps teach discipline, listening skills, and social skills as well as getting his wiggles out. My dad insisted he doesn’t go and I continued to argue back reiterating my point. Eventually he said they’ll “try it”. I need help finding constructive ways to “discipline” him without killing his motivation to do better that will also work with my parents’ viewpoint. I know that punishment should be directly correlated to the behavior and immediate like in the same day. Taking away something that’s meant for days later doesn’t help. It makes him less motivated to do better because he’s already lost it.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this??
I understand that he has a lot of big feelings rn and it’s difficult for him, as a 6 year old, to make sense of them or manage them appropriately.
My parents have never been very emotionally supportive and they’re really big on discipline but I try to reason with them and advocate for my son. Personally, growing up under their roof, the constant discipline I.e. grounding, taking things away, taking everything out of my room including ym door and making me earn them back, taking away events…it stressed me out too much and my behavior didn’t get better it made me less likely to do what they asked of me. Granted, I got in trouble for the littlest things. I really was not a bad kid but they thought I was.
They do they same thing to my son and I try to explain to them that that doesn’t help. He struggles with his behavior in school like not paying attention or being goofy in class. So for example, he had 2 “bad” days in a row this week. Monday and Tuesday. He got home yesterday and had to go to bed early…6pm. AND they tried to take away gymnastics on Thursday. I spoke to my dad over the phone with my so listening because I need him to know someone is on his side and he’s not alone in this. I explained to my dad that I’m paying $80 a month for gymnastics and it’s not only meant for fun. It helps teach discipline, listening skills, and social skills as well as getting his wiggles out. My dad insisted he doesn’t go and I continued to argue back reiterating my point. Eventually he said they’ll “try it”. I need help finding constructive ways to “discipline” him without killing his motivation to do better that will also work with my parents’ viewpoint. I know that punishment should be directly correlated to the behavior and immediate like in the same day. Taking away something that’s meant for days later doesn’t help. It makes him less motivated to do better because he’s already lost it.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this??
so then I pulled out my calculator and was like wtf?! You’re right! Dude is 6. Last year we were driving and he randomly started adding and subtracting negatives I was like huh??! Did they teach you that in school?? He said no 