Daddy sleeping in
- Thread starter nessofonett05
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@marvelloustime That doesn’t help bro
@nessofonett05 my husband also has apnea and is high sleep needs. i’m the 24/7 caretaker. it sucks. husband went back to bed this morning at his parents house.
nessofonett05
New member
@godgirl13 Glad I’m not alone, and sorry we got the short end
velveteenlo
New member
@nessofonett05 I can’t believe you had another child with him!
@nessofonett05 He's not getting up that late. I honestly expected to read noon or something.
He's fine with that schedule.
He's fine with that schedule.
@nessofonett05 It sounds like he needs sleep due to his medical condition. Who cares what strangers think?
solomonsol
New member
@nessofonett05 I wish I had this scenario. My high needs partner sleeps in till noon whenever he’s not working.
@nessofonett05 My husband doesn't have sleep apnea but still sleeps in until about 9am every weekend day with me waking at a similar time as you with both kids. Other than that he is great tho! No advice, just here to commiserate lol
@nessofonett05 Has he been seen for his sleep apnea? My husband also has that, prior to baby #1 we agreed he needed to get it handled. He now uses a CPAP
and we both LOVE IT. Totally changed everything. Without treatment my husband was taking an afternoon nap almost daily. He now does wonderfully on a “normal” nights sleep (aka the sleep we’ve managed to get for the last 2 years with baby #1)
Honestly, for arrangements like these it’s only about if both people are okay with it. It sounds like you aren’t, so it’s no longer working and you guys need to discuss what will work.
and we both LOVE IT. Totally changed everything. Without treatment my husband was taking an afternoon nap almost daily. He now does wonderfully on a “normal” nights sleep (aka the sleep we’ve managed to get for the last 2 years with baby #1)
Honestly, for arrangements like these it’s only about if both people are okay with it. It sounds like you aren’t, so it’s no longer working and you guys need to discuss what will work.
nessofonett05
New member
@mjacobb He has been seen and uses the cpap. I don’t know if it really makes his sleep “better”. But he has always been a “high needs sleeper”. I’m a super light sleeper and can’t fall back asleep easily. I wake up for work earlier than he does so I’m “used” to the early wake. I don’t even think I could sleep in if I tried
@nessofonett05 My husband swears he sleeps so much better, but he’s also lower sleep needs (feels silly to use this to describe my adult husband 
)
Is there another area he could pick up some time that you could relax? To give you some time to step away. My husband and I agree that things aren’t always 50/50 but we want them to be as close to fair as possible. So, we both try to give each other time away. That’s different for everyone, for me I highly enjoy eating dinner away from my house without my toddler. It’s a real vacation. So I get to do that at least once a week.
) Is there another area he could pick up some time that you could relax? To give you some time to step away. My husband and I agree that things aren’t always 50/50 but we want them to be as close to fair as possible. So, we both try to give each other time away. That’s different for everyone, for me I highly enjoy eating dinner away from my house without my toddler. It’s a real vacation. So I get to do that at least once a week.
travelor65
New member
@nessofonett05 My husband leaves for work at 3:45am M-Th so I always let him sleep in 2 days on the weekends. He lets me sleep in 1 day. It works well for us!
@nessofonett05 get him a sleeping test, they have them “at home” and then get a cpap. they are so quiet and it’s changed my marriage. my husbands sleep quality is so much better and through the app it tells him how many disruptions he’s had through the night. insurance covered most of his.
nessofonett05
New member
@nessofonett05 does he have one that you can add distilled water too? or the nose attachments that are different sizes?
@nessofonett05 My husband is an extreme night owl while I am an early bird. I wake up at 5-5:30 naturally everyday after going to bed around 11. He goes to bed around 2am and sleeps for AGES and it kills me. It’s something we’ve been trying to fix for literally years and nothing really ever changes long term unfortunately.
@nessofonett05 I’m a night owl and work from home. My husband is a morning person and wakes up early for work. So I’ll stay up with our toddler or get up if she wakes up in the middle of the night. But he wakes up with her over the weekends to let me sleep in. And I definitely sleep in much later than 7:30 lol. Pretty much everyday he’ll bring her in the game room to keep her occupied so I can have some down time to myself
Every now and then if he’s particularly run down and exhausted I’ll wake up with her over the weekend. But for the most part the above are our roles and it works for us
Statistically speaking, women do require more sleep than men. Especially pregnant women. He’s going to have to understand that there are pretty much no meals that will go uninterrupted by children and he’s gonna have to step up a bit more. You can’t be the only one sacrificing
Every now and then if he’s particularly run down and exhausted I’ll wake up with her over the weekend. But for the most part the above are our roles and it works for us
Statistically speaking, women do require more sleep than men. Especially pregnant women. He’s going to have to understand that there are pretty much no meals that will go uninterrupted by children and he’s gonna have to step up a bit more. You can’t be the only one sacrificing
airmanjones18
New member
@nessofonett05 My husband sleeps in later than me & our toddler every day, but here are our circumstances that make it okay:
My husband has always struggled with going to bed early and waking up early. So his compromise is be as helpful as he can be at night, and in exchange he gets to sleep in a bit longer and I do a bit more of the childrearing activities during the day.
- I cosleep with our son, me and him get the king sized bed upstairs
- My husband sleeps on the couch in the living room, so when we wake up, he's right there (visually) as soon as we go downstairs
- I go to bed at the same time as our toddler, and I've ALWAYS been a morning person. The second I wake up, I'm up. There's no going back to sleep for me.
- My husband helps with any and all night wakings for the toddler while I sleep. I just get up and yell his name and he comes and retrieves the toddler to put him back to sleep, then brings him to me sleeping.
- My husband cleans/tidies the living room every night after we go to bed, so when I wake up it's fresh for a new day
- If I need him at any point, he'll spring into action (even if a little bit groggy)
My husband has always struggled with going to bed early and waking up early. So his compromise is be as helpful as he can be at night, and in exchange he gets to sleep in a bit longer and I do a bit more of the childrearing activities during the day.
katrina2017
New member
@nessofonett05 We have a set arrangement now that we have a toddler and a 4 month old. I take care of the baby during the night feeding her, (she’s exclusively breastfed), changing diapers, getting her back down is she wakes up. On the rare occasion our son wakes up, my fiancé will help him settle back down. My fiancé wakes up around 5am every morning for alone time. When our toddler wakes up he is the parent on duty. I sleep in almost every morning unless I work (part time). It works for us!
If your arrangement doesn’t work for you, say something! It isn’t a good one if both parties aren’t in agreement.
If your arrangement doesn’t work for you, say something! It isn’t a good one if both parties aren’t in agreement.