Concerns about extreme 'cry it out' for a 10 week old

[izraeli3]

@gladaonkth Oh i see

 

[pearlin]

@gladaonkth I have a 10 week old daughter. This is horrifying. That poor baby. Please say something to anyone who will listen.

 

[gladaonkth]

@pearlin I'm now convinced I have to. Thank you for replying!

 

[w3bd3v]

@gladaonkth Nope that's horrible neglect. My baby is 9 weeks and generally has to cry a little to fall asleep while we snuggle and calm him, and even that hurts. I could not finish reading this post. 10 weeks is far too young to ever be unattended. They need to be keeping an eye on the baby on the monitor at all times (volume high enough to wake them up if they sleep). If that baby is crying, she needs something. They are messing up in the extreme.

Excuse me while I try not to run home to snuggle my son, who is with his dad right now.

 

[amanda_forjesus]

@w3bd3v I know. My eyes filled with tears too.

 

[kryslyne]

@w3bd3v My baby is 9 weeks also, snoozing safely in my arms, and I just can't imagine making him feel scared and alone on purpose.

 

[gladaonkth]

@w3bd3v Hey, sorry, didn't mean to upset you! Thanks for your answer, you're confirming my worries.

 

[w3bd3v]

@gladaonkth Not your fault! Just very painful to think about now that I have a baby of my own, ya know? I cannot imagine leaving him alone like that

 

[kebliss]

@gladaonkth This is soooo wrong and terrible. Baby is WAY too little to understand why nobody is coming for her when she absolutely needs something and this is neglect. Do they know what the fourth trimester is? I don’t understand how a mother can just ignore her baby.

Can another friend or family member volunteer to take the baby from them if they are clearly not interested in caring for her? I would report them to every single person you can. The pediatrician would probably be a great place to start and honestly even child protective services. The baby could aspirate on her vomit laying flat and unattended like that.

It sounds like they aren’t interested in being educated in how wrong they are so I wouldn’t hesitate to keep pressing until they either realize how terrible they’re being and change their ways or someone else can take her into their care so she can be treated how she deserves

 

[gladaonkth]

@kebliss I didn't mention this in my post, but the parents are mentally challenged, yet functioning, adults. It appears the new mom does want to get her baby, but new dad says she shouldn't, since he religiously believes in what his mom has told them. It's so sad, they don't even mean to be neglectful, he really believes that's what's best for their child. I will alert some professionals who are in touch with them.

 

[kebliss]

@gladaonkth In this case I would definitely get child protective services involved. It isn’t to be malicious to towards the parents, but because they would likely really benefit from some long term check ins and assistance from a third party. Perhaps cps will also help them get into some parenting classes or even help identify other people that can help them care for baby girl if dad is overwhelmed and not willing to tend to her.

It may take CPS a while to visit them, but I would make a report based off concerns about mom and dad’s judgment and why, the fact that dad is prohibiting mom from caring for the baby, and the fact that baby vomited and was left in it. This is absolutely CPS worthy and that little babe needs help ASAP. It’s imperative when making a report that you give as much detailed information as possible so that CPS knows they need to intervene and why. If you aren’t detailed enough, the report can be rejected. Their websites can be confusing sometimes so you need help figuring out how to make a report let me know or DM me what state you live in and I’ll be happy to assist!

Healthcare providers are mandated reporters so it wouldn’t hurt to follow up with the pediatrician too. They may also be helpful in reaching out to the parents to help sooner, but I am not sure on this one

 

[gladaonkth]

@kebliss I'm in Europe, so I'm looking for the right instance to report to. I'm gonna start with the center that does standard medical follow up of new borns. Maybe they can already do something, or point me in the right direction.

 

[kebliss]

@gladaonkth Oh, sorry for making an assumption. Thank you for advocating for this sweet baby. Good luck, OP!

 

[porcelainchild]

@gladaonkth Just adding another comment to the pile that this is 100% neglect. Even when doing CIO at a developmentally appropriate age (4+mo) you should not be letting a baby cry so much they vomit--that's a sign that CIO is not the sleep training method for them.

Honestly boomers should never be listened to for parenting advice. This was the generation that plopped their babies in the crib at night and didn't attend to them until the morning.

 

[kaym1]

@gladaonkth WHY DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN?? I genuinely don't understand??

 

[pwdzlms13]

@gladaonkth This is so sad. I have an almost 10 month old baby and it doesn't matter how old she gets, she's still tiny to me and I'll comfort her no matter what. CIO is anyway a concept i struggle to understand (i just don't have the heart to do it) but what you're describing is straight up neglect. Made me cry. Please please rescue that baby before something worse happens.

 

[gladaonkth]

@pwdzlms13 I'm gonna report this indeed. I know there's much discussion about techniques like CIO, but I felt this has crossed the line really far.

 

[overwatch]

@gladaonkth

who says babies need to learn structure and discipline (needs to get tough)

As a child psychologist, please tell this person that under absolutely no circumstances should they ever offer advice about raising children again.

If they're thinking about "disciplining" a baby a only weeks old, they haven't the foggiest of clues about how to handle children.

 

[amanda_forjesus]

@gladaonkth Omg. This is appalling.

 

[speckodust]

@gladaonkth Wow reading this seriously upset me. I don’t understand how anyone could think it is okay to leave their 10 week old baby like that. Reading the part of the baby covered in vomit nearly made me cry. This is seriously neglect and they need to be educated. I’m not even joking, I would be contacting anyone and everyone in their life to knock some sense into them, even child services in the area. This is neglect of a helpless baby’s basic needs.