Childless friend keeps telling me I’ll regret not having two

roseforchrist

New member
My friend, who is childless, keeps telling me I will regret not having another baby.

My son is 9 months and is a happy, cheeky crazy little boy. But it’s been hard. We’ve had no help or support from family (my mum died, my dad refuses as he’s “done raising kids”, husbands mum lives 2 hours away and his dad vanished when he was 6 months old) so I’ve been dealing with a pandemic, a colicky infant with painful reflux as well as working from home 30 hours a week and having my gallbladder removed- practically alone.

My husband is as hands on as he can be when he’s not at work. His mum has watched him 4 times which I feel forever grateful for. But, considering how awful my pregnancy was (sick from 7-birth multiple times a day) and how stressed I’ve been trying to juggle it all, I just don’t want to have another baby. I’m happy with just having my son.

Despite this, my best friend (who’s husband won’t allow them to have children for another 2 years according to his plan) is insisting I’ll change my mind or that I’ll regret not having 2. I would honestly rather live in regret of not having two than have my son watch his mother fall apart in front him. He doesn’t deserve that. I don’t deserve that. I love my friend but I’m tired of being told I’ll regret something that I feel very strongly against. I love my son. But he comes first, as does my own mental health.

I just needed to vent to others who will understand as no one really gets how hard this is. I’ve been locked away for 2 years due to the pandemic and working/raising a baby from home and I can’t do that again. I don’t want to have another baby and I’m tired of people saying I’ll regret it.
 
@roseforchrist Honestly, she just doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a baby. She probably sees babies and motherhood through the same rose-colored lenses I did before having my only, which was like a slap in the face haha.

She probably won’t understand any amount of you explaining yourself, so all you can do is ask her to stop saying that to you and hope she respects you enough to do that.
 
@katrina2017 This!! Exactly this! I thought I’d have 2-3 and thought people who only had one were missing out and I didn’t get it... now I do. I get it. We are one and done because it’s HARD. When you don’t have kids I think that’s hard to grasp.
 
@molly78 Yup I always wanted 2 but since actually raising 1 my husband and I have drastically changed our minds. We know she will be totally happy and content with us doting on her, and I didn’t grow up with siblings so I know she will be just fine.
 
@molly78 Yes, same, I always secretly thought it was a little sad when someone was an only child before. I have a sibling, and used to want more than one kid. But I never voiced that I was a little sad at the thought of one and done, it wasn't any of my business! This friend is being so pushy!! That has to be so hard for OP too.
 
@calpastor My currently childless best friend wants four, meanwhile she can only handle my well behaved for her child in four hour increments lol we’ll see how it goes but my husband and I aren’t holding our breath that she’ll actually have 4
 
@calpastor Omg one of my friends wants 3-4 and she has worked in nicu and pediatrics so everybody is like oh she’ll be fine…I’m like bro she gets to leave her job this parenting shit is 24/7 and HARD
 
@hiplainsthrifter Oh seriously. I was an excellent babysitter growing up, super good with kids, could handle even a dozen kids at once (like a bunch of younger cousins all at my house under my care). Thought I could handle 4-6 of my own kids. Nope, realized babysitting is VERY different from parenting by about 3 hours into parenting haha
 
@hiplainsthrifter Some people are so wonderful with multiple children in their home! I’ve done lots of volunteer type things with preschoolers so I felt like, “totally I could do that!”.

Reader, she could not.
 
@leras My son loves all the same girly stuff as me so I’m entirely set. He’s getting a musical jewelry box for his birthday and I know he’s going to love it.
 
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