@christiangirl115 My best friend is the oldest of nine children, and also works with young children at an outpatient mental health company. She doesn’t have kids yet, but she’s definitely given me some wonderful advice about how to communicate with children.
@christiangirl115 The problem for me is the ability to empathize or understand my experience. Someone who has never been pregnant or birthed or raised a child just doesn’t get those experiences. It is like losing a family member or a child, how can you effectively relate if you have never experienced it? You can do the best you can to help, but someone who has been through it has better advice and can empathize in a way that you cannot.
My sister in law frequently calls her animals her children and compares them to my child and that feels very insulting. She has no idea what it is to have a child and her ideas about child rearing don’t reflect reality.
Unfortunately I have had bad experiences with people who don’t have children, comments about how messy or disgusting they are, why I don’t do XYZ etc. that I just don’t go out of my way to befriend them because I can’t relate and sometimes I feel like they treat my child as a burden. We just have different priorities and that is okay.
@christiangirl115 I don't really care about the source of advice, be they parents or not. If it's unsolicited I don't want to hear it.
I find I can usually find something useful out of things people say, even if they don't have experiences directly relating to what I need help with. Thatd just in general, though.
@christiangirl115 Most of my closest friends are childless and are sweet to my son and give me lots on non child centered stimulation. Thank goodness for childless friends!
@christiangirl115 I’ve gone to a few childfree friends for parenting advice because they genuinely have a background/education in early childhood development. Some know more about kids than I do. I should add that I always initiate these conversations, though. They’ve never just spouted advice to me.
