Can anyone share a happy story of formula feeding from Day 1?

[tabbycat11]

@baberean It’s weird bc it is a baby friendly hospital but the doctors and nurses I’ve mentioned it to have been supportive. The actual literature they give is appallingly coercive and shamey. There’s kind of a disconnect there. I think bc I have an autoimmune issue and prone to mental health things and on medications it will be an easier sell but I think any pushback in that vulnerable state would feel devestating so at my last appointment I think I’ll ask how to get out in front of it to avoid any shame, I know it would hit me really hard.

 

[baberean]

@tabbycat11 Good idea!!! You will have so much other stuff going on that the last thing you need is unwanted pressure. I am all for people feeding as they want, but I find it terrible that there is so much pressure put on moms when they are most hormonal and vulnerable.

 

[aliemikeyj]

@tabbycat11 Never wanted to BF, had no desire to do it. I knew my mental health and knew it wasn’t for me. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t had been able to due to hemorrhaging and broke my tail bone during birth (sound traumatic, but the whole thing really didn’t feel traumatic to me) I was so exhausted after that my son spent the night with the nurses at the nurses station.

He was formula fed first few days, it should have stayed that way. I regret that it didn’t. But then had a couple bad nights of fussiness and decided to try BF and it calmed him instantly. Though it still BF only lasted a week maybe a week and a half, because I hated every moment of it. It was mentally draining. I also hated feeling being the soul food source. I felt trapped and my day was dictated by breastfeeding or pumping. I also got way to overstimulated and overwhelmed. So being able to pass him to my husband to feed helps so much.

Made the decision to completely formula feed and if we decide to have a 2nd kid in a few years I will choose Formula right away. My son is 6weeks old and as happy and chubby as ever. Also my husband loves that he gets to feed and hang out with our little dude. Leaving the house is easier because I can feed him anywhere, and not have to worry about finding a place to nurse (I’m not the type to whip it out in public)

As for guilt, try not to worry about it. Your baby Having a mentally healthy mother. Is more important than breastfeeding.

 

[crownfair]

@tabbycat11 With my first, I had a really long tough battle of my daughter not gaining weight. She showed all the signs that she was eating enough by breastfeeding, but in reality she wasn’t transferring nearly enough. I made it until month 4, when I went crazy and did every feed for a weighted feed for 2 weeks, while also triple feeding. It was hell. My supply never went up to where it needed, and dropped even more due to stress. After we started formula feeding, her weight skyrocketed and she started flourishing. I became a lot happier.

With my twins, I told my husband that while I wanted to try and Bf again, I didn’t want to do it if it was a battle. Baby B latched ok but had a tongue tie making it painful, A was in NICU and tube fed and couldn’t figure out latching when he got out. But right away I also started having crazy pp complications, and it was clear, based on my pain and everything else, I needed to focus on myself. We switched to donor milk in the hospital, and formula as soon as we were home and it was the best decision for both my health, and my family. At 8d pp, I was re-hospitalized for pp pre-eclampsia. I was able to stay by myself and not bring my boys back so my husband and MIL could watch them, and take meds that are questionably safe for breastfeeding. Since then, formula has allowed me to sleep and share the workload of feeding the boys. They are chunky and growing well. I’m fully happy with my decision.

But I also get the guilt and regret. It’s hard to not feel the stigma of formula, even if you know you are doing what’s right for you and your family.

 

[amenradio]

@tabbycat11 I really wanted to focus on recovering after my c-section (physically and mentally), so I really didn’t want to overwhelm myself with breastfeeding. I also wanted my husband to be able to help immediately, and I’m planning on going back to a job that would be hard to incorporate pumping time into. I remember being asked several different times if I was breastfeeding or doing formula in the hospital, but once I said formula, nobody made a big deal of it and they proceeded to support me. My husband actually was the first one to feed baby (I have zero recollection of this for some reason), and she was a great eater from the start and the formula we chose mostly agreed with her (she was gassy, but her digestive system was still figuring itself out). She gained weight after delivery, and now she’s almost two months and is still a great eater and formula is working super well for us. I actually had to go get a blood transfusion 6 days post partum which was super stressful, but I have no idea how I would’ve managed if I was also breastfeeding.

 

[gthan]

@tabbycat11 My baby was born 5 weeks early. I had an emergency c-section and the drugs knocked me out for DAYS. Thank God I had already decided to do formula only! I cannot imagine having to mf’ing breastfeed on top of all that. My baby is almost 7 months and T H R I V I N G. 10,10 ZERO regrets.

 

[katrina2017]

@tabbycat11 We went to the hospital with every intention of my wife breastfeeding. We tried but physically it just wasn't in the cards for us. We gave it a good shot but at the end of the day, our son needed to eat. So we asked for formula and we were given zero attitude or judgement (at least in front of us haha).

Been formula feeding ever since for 9 months now and he's growing like a weed.

 

[macwilliam]

@tabbycat11 Motherhood is hard enough when they are this young. The time you would have spent breastfeeding or pumping you now get to share with a bottle with your partner and any other family, who will also love feeding them and bonding in that way. Without hours of pumping, you get to spend cuddling and playing and talking. And they already took so much of our bodies with pregnancy and delivery/surgery, at least your boobies get to be only yours again.

 

[melanie66]

@tabbycat11 Couldn't breatfeed and my daughter was given formula right from the hospital..we attempted to breastfeed for a couple months, but she never latched. I suffered a lot with guilt in the beginning, but my daughter is 20 months and thriving. She is perfectly healthy and well developed. I look back now and think of all the unnecessary negative feelings towards myself I could've avoided if I knew better.

 

[kyicy]

@tabbycat11 I tried breastfeeding in the hospital. She didn't latch well and wasn't getting enough milk so we just started formula right there, intending to do a mix of formula and breastfeeding.

When we got home, I tried pumping and was able to do it for 2 weeks, but it was very mentally taxing and exacerbated my mental illness so I stopped. We've been exclusively formula feeding since then and she's a very happy healthy baby, hitting all her milestones! I know that's in part because her mom can be happy and healthy too, so I don't feel guilty at all. The alternative wouldn't have been good for either of us.

 

[nursefc]

@tabbycat11 The majority of my family is formula fed. My sister, my mom, myself, my son, our soon to be baby, most of my cousins, even my husband was and we all good decent people. With my son I tried to pump too and it didn’t work and he already had formula at the hospital for other issues and it was the best things ever. He hit all of his milestone, never had a concern, his immune system is just fine and no better or worse then other kids that were breastfed. Truly there is not that much of a difference between the two.

 

[escaudill]

@tabbycat11 7 months old - formula from day one while in the NICU (she wouldn’t latch at all in the hospital and only once when we got home, I pumped a little but she was still topped up on formula)

My mental health would have suffered greatly had we continued trying anything but formula - my brain couldn’t cope not knowing how much she was getting with drinking from the breast, and good god the amount of respect I have for those who pump - I swear I would try and get a schedule and I’d have only managed to pump twice and it was already 3pm! And that was when I was in the NICU with her and not even at home trying to figure out how to do everything else while keeping her in one piece!

Plus, my husband was able to take night feeds and allow me to rest up when I needed to.

Every baby is different but she is absolutely thriving, hitting all milestones, she’s been a relatively good sleeper from pretty early on, and this is just anecdotally from my group of mum friends but those of us who formula feed (again, just reiterating this has been our experience, it is not universal at all!) seemed to get longer stretches of sleep earlier than those who breastfed.

Will also say that ALL of the nurses, midwives and health visitors we have seen have been fully supportive of all our decision! We got the help we needed when I tried other options but no judgement or anything but support when we decided to go EFF.

 

[tabbycat11]

@escaudill That’s great. I do fear a sense of shame from the nurses in the hospital which I know is silly and my actual OB has been supportive but for some reason some guilt has just gotten to me in the last week and made me feel really bad. I know I need to do what’s best for me, my baby, and my family without caring what some nurse or lactation consultant thinks though…

 

[escaudill]

@tabbycat11 That’s easier said than done though sometimes!

I too felt guilt and was so nervous to tell them when we decided to go EFF (especially because in my head I had decided that my reasons were ‘selfish’) but we got really lucky and I hope you do too - it’s a good start that your OB is supportive!

 

[johnsanai]

@tabbycat11 With my second baby, we started formula at 3 days old. BF is NOT for me. I have such negative feelings of dread and anxiety when breastfeeding. Thought those feelings might just be because my first was a terrible latch but no! Second baby was great latch and still felt so much dread. And after the switch, everything is great! She eats well (now 3 months old) and I am happy to feed her!

 

[rlpridgen]

@tabbycat11 For our first, we tried bfing. No latch. Pumped. Pumping didn’t allow me to bond and caused me to get really depressed. I would cry every time my milk let down. Not to mention almost being hospitalized for mastitis 3x. Weaned off the pump at 4 months and started formula. My girl is 3 years and is smart and healthy.

For our second, we tried bfing at the hospital. No latch (again). So after 3 days, the baby was hungry and so the dr told us to give formula. My plan all along had been to give formula anyway but I thought I’d give bfing another shot. I have been a happy, mentally well mama. The baby and I have bonded beautifully. He’s a happy chunk that’s hitting all his milestones. I’m able to be there for my older child bc I’m not being a milk machine.

You have to do what’s best for you! Especially since formula is a wonderful alternative (and arguably just as good as breastmilk). In this case especially, it is unselfish to prioritize your mental health and happiness.

 

[elb]

@tabbycat11 Formula fed my daughter from day 1. She is almost 10 months now, happy and healthy! I loved that I didn’t have to stress about breastfeeding and my low supply like I did with my first. I was able to just start enjoying her without the added stress of feeding worries. My husband could help feed her from day 1, allowing me to get more sleep. Absolutely the best decision for our family.

 

[tbuychn]

@tabbycat11 I am 2 weeks pp and EFF from day 1 is already such a good decision for my family! It’s for sure different for everyone, and I fully support everyone making the decision that’s right for them, but here are some of the benefits to my family and reasons it’s been so great:

First, hopefully this doesn’t happen to you, but I ended up back in the hospital for a few nights after initial release with complications and not having to worry about BF-ing while feeling terrible in the hospital was such a relief.

Second, formula feeding means my husband can take nights and I can actually sleep- my healing from c section is so much smoother than many stories I’ve heard, and I feel like partially it’s because I actually got to rest after birth.

Third, in the same vein, I was/am a high risk for PPD and PPA, but getting good quality sleep is really great for preventing those, and so far has been working.

Fourth, I had a really hard time with loss of body autonomy during pregnancy and it’s AMAZING to feel like my body belongs to only me right now. This is definitely a personal one- but is huge for my mental health.

Fifth, research shows that in families who EFF the labor split between the birthing partner and non-birthing partner is much more even! (Source: All the Rage, by Darcy Lockman)

Good luck with your birth/feeding journey!!

 

[tbuychn]

Plus, my baby is a total chonk who is already past birth weight and continuing to gain weight like a champ! It’s nice to not have to stress about how much food he’s getting, etc

 

[recoverywfaith]

@tabbycat11 I was really not wanting to breastfeed due to mental health and some trauma I went through. Lots of people really pushed for breastfeeding. Lots gave me the “do what’s best for your kid” speech. And you know what, I have in. I tried. Right after he was born I breast fed. It worked at first until it didn’t and I couldn’t handle it. He had jaundice and they said him eating would help him get better faster. I was pressured to feed him and I broke. Then I kinda stood up for my choice and asked for the formula. And you know what??????? It worked! He ate like a champ. And I was feeding my son happily with zero guilt or discomfort. And my husband was able to feed him too. And his jaundice cleared up fast and we went home happily. I did pump privately for a little to give what I could until dried up. Even then I stopped that after a month. My son did wonderful on formula. And I absolutely don’t regret formula feeding. I do regret not standing up for myself. I knew what was best for us but I fought against it and it back fired. Follow your gut.