@benedix " if she needs to sleep she sleeps in the car / pram etc"
This is the reason you're able to get away with not having a schedule. Some babies (like mine) needed A LOT of help to take a nap and would get over tired (ie exteremely irritable) if I didn't keep to a schedule and help him to nap. Missing naps also led to my son waking up at night more often which was another reason for me to stick to a schedule.
@benedix We have a loose schedule. It changes a bit every day so it’s more of a general guideline we follow. We tried to go without a schedule but it was a disaster that carried over into bad nights, mornings, repeat for days. She’s definitely the kind of baby it helps. Plus she won’t sleep on the go (ugh) so you’re lucky, enjoy it!
@benedix I think it has a LOT to do with the baby.
My youngest was 6 months when the pandemic hit. We had nowhere to be, no one to see, nothing to do soooo wow did we not have a schedule. We had some basic guidelines to keep a rhythm and routine but not hard and fast rules.
It was nice after the world opened up more bc we could go out and do whatever without a hard and fast schedule, but still, had no deadlines or obligations so when it broke down, it didnt matter.
My son, specifically, is also a laid back kid who sleeps anywhere, anytime. If he hadn't been, we would have needed a more specific schedule.
@benedix This is a new concept that according to my mom and MIL is a “sleep industry” that preys on desperate parents, which is true to some extent. As long as you use common sense and follow your LOs cues, you don’t need to change anything if it works for you. The wake windows are suggested amounts in which a baby can stay up before their next nap, but you don’t need wake windows to know that, they’ll let you know themselves
@benedix Honestly same. I have a 10 month old and we have no set schedule. It’s amazing because she can nap on the go and I don’t feel like I have to be home at a certain time. My best friend had a baby two weeks before me and she has to be home for her babies naps and they are so structured. I know different things work for different people but I much prefer my way.
@benedix 13 months here and we don’t have a schedule, even though I’d love one. We loosely follow wake windows, but I can’t say that he naps the same time every day. He goes to daycare so at least one nap there is fairly consistent, but we have varied work schedules so sometimes my son naps 3 times a day, sometimes once… goes to bed at 6/7 pm some times, and some times 930/10. It’s not because I’m a super lax mom who is go with the flow, it’s cause our schedules are crazy with two other big kids and extra curricular activities, work schedules changing, appointments, etc.
@benedix I could have written this myself, my daughter is 8mo and we’re on the same non-schedule-schedule. 2-3 naps a day all based on sleepy cues, consistent bedtime of 6:30/7, no naps past 5, and I try for at least one solid nap at home then the rest can be on the go naps (car, stroller, baby carrier). It’s worked really well for us too!! Reading through other comments though, I think we may have just been gifted chill sleepers.
@benedix We did this early on (only used wake windows and sleepy cues) but by like 6 months our sons sleepy cues were getting pretty subtle, or else by the time he showed cues he was already super overtired. Then switched to a schedule (but we are still somewhat flexible with it) and it helped. My MIL said later that she never used a schedule for any of her kids as babies and didn’t think it would work that young but she could see that it was really working for him.
Nothing is universal when it comes to babies. What works for one may not work for another, etc.
@benedix Do you go out much with set plans? Appointments? Or social plans where you need to be there at a certain time? For these I find the routine helpful with picking times so I know she’ll be awake, fed, and have some time before she gets hungry or tired again.
@benedix I think a lot of people don't have a choice. We're super flexible but some days you need to be certain places and the baby has to get up. A lot of moms have jobs and the kids are in daycare. When that's the case you don't have a choice.
@benedix We try to keep an eye on wake windows in terms of how long she has been awake and when she should nap again (because we put her down awake) and dont want her to be overtired. But we dont follow a strict schedule and also there are lots of times when she has to nap on the go. If she doesnt have a good nap day we try to get her to bed a little earlier. The only thing I would stress about is if we were out way past her bed time and I couldn't put her to sleep because I would worry about night wakes.
I’m pretty sure the vast majority of parents start out with no sleep schedule. They create one when regular sleep breaks down due to baby needing more consistency. If your baby has more flexible sleep needs, that’s great. Love that for you. Didn’t work out that way for me for either of my kids.
@oreotragus not a weird flex. it helps to see different perspectives. for example, new parents checking out the sub for information because they're new to sleep training. this post offers another route: flexibility is also an option. it can be a relief to discover you don't have to be monitoring everything all the time. it didn't work for you, but you found your own way. don't be bitter that OP found hers.
@4chaii Lol no one is bitter, I’m genuinely happy she has a flexible sleeper—lucky for her! But let’s be real, it’s a little weird to seek out a sleep training sub when your kid naturally sleeps well just to say “why are you all doing too much?”
@oreotragus That makes sense. I’ve only got the one so it’s hard to know what’s normal and where babies differ so just genuinely curious about why no schedule never seems to be discussed.
@benedix Well, this is a sub for sleep training. I suppose the parents of flexible sleepers never need to look up sleep training to begin with because their kids just sleep.
@oreotragus Yep I agree, it’s just a biased perspective. This sub is fairly focused on schedules so you’re going to see more about wws/schedules then you will about people who are able to go with the flow.
Also, most active users here who comment with advice almost always respond to relative advice requests (ie “should we ST”) with “if it works for you then keep going with what works for you”.
So, if the non-schedule style works for your family, awesome! Enjoy it!
