Are there any other babies who never had a set schedule?

@benedix 7 months old. Attempted the whole schedule thing but it went out the window pretty quick because every day starts different (sometimes a 4:30am wake up, sometimes a 7pm wake up). It was impossible to have a strict schedule so I just follow cues and do my best 🥲
 
@benedix Ha! Mine! Naps are pretty anything goes, but she has always slept through the night so we're letting her have it her way.

I'm curious to see how she handles daycare when we eventually get to that, maybe the other kids will influence her. Maybe I'll get the hard word to go onto their schedule.
 
@benedix I have a generalised anxiety disorder and PPD. I need him to be on a schedule more than he does (although he feels great on a schedule as well).
 
@benedix I agree with you totally - in the end when my LO was on two naps, they typically fell at the ~same~ time… like 10am and 1pm (for eg) we’d alter it depending on the day etc but typically it didn’t move more than 30mins either side!
 
@benedix Me! My 8 month old is awake for about 2.5hrs and sleeps pretty much 30mins at a time. It’s not the norm but it works for us! There’s no schedule and i like it that way.

Tried to sleep train and it just didn’t suit her so we’re back to her routine of 30min naps whenever she feels like it.

Honestly, if what you’re doing works for you, why change it!
 
@g_galvan Mine is the same. Everyone says it’s wrong, not the norm and it’s something must be doing wrong (online and on Reddit.) But I know approx 20 women who have had babies in the last 3 years and more than half of them said their baby never napped for longer than 30 minutes. It also seemed more common with girls but not exclusive. The boys tended to do longer naps around 10 months.

I have a 7 month old so most of my sample size is new mothers with children aged 5 months to 18 months
 
@benedix Mine is 6 months and only now falling into a predictable daytime schedule of naps and feeding. We had a consistent bedtime since 3.5 months old.
Edit: I would like to say he is sleep trained and sttn. But I found wake windows and nap schedules don’t work for us. The only thing I kept in mind was a long enough wake window before bedtime (ending last naps 2.5-3h before bedtime). Otherwise we just went with sleepy cues, sometimes it meant 3 naps, sometimes 5. Sometimes one wake window was only 1 hour long. Had no impact on nighttime sleep.
 
@benedix We do this! The first few months we had with our little one at home went quite well with no schedule. Then all of a sudden we hit the 4 month mark and EVERYONE was telling us we needed to start getting our baby on a schedule. This is our first, so we figured if everyone is saying to do it then there must be a reason so we tried to do wake windows and that whole month we all ended up miserable. Finally we decided to scrap that and go back to just following little ones cues and life got so much better again. We are lucky though that they're able to sleep on the go no problem, so not having a schedule isn't really a problem for us. No one else I know does this though so any time I've been looking for advice I haven't really known where to go!
 
@benedix Mine is almost 16 months old and the schedule is very loose. Yes, she does have a regular bedtime, 95% of the time around 7/7:30pm, but she wakes when she wants to. Sometimes she wakes around 6am, sometimes 7am. She’s down to 1 nap now, and it’s anywhere between 11am and 1pm. The nap is anywhere between 45 min to 2.5 hours, depending on how she feels.

I am typically a very structured person, so all that i said above probably sounds very wishy-washy. The thing is, i work in the sleep field and i don’t particularly want to put my kid on a super strict schedule. Sleep is so important— if she’s growing, teething, ill, etc, she might need more sleep some days than others. We all know how we feel when we’re sick and can’t sleep in or when we’re woken up from REM with an alarm clock.

I’m not saying what i’m doing is how it should be done, it just works for us. We all do the best we can in our own personal situations.
 
@benedix We have a general schedule that our baby set for us. She told us clearly when she wanted bed time and we just went with it. We aren’t anal about it. Sometimes she skips her nap and we know that means she needs a longer second nap.
 
@benedix Yep, Ive always been told, researched and believed that it's all about routine. Routine routine routine. Until my almost 9 month old came a long. Every day is different, every night is different. He has barely had the same two days since he was born. Naps could be 20 mins or 90 mins, he could wake at 7am or 8am. I found months ago that trying to get him to sleep when he didn't want to sleep was consuming me, I thought wtf am I doing.

He's perfectly healthy and happy!!! So I just go with whatever now
 
@benedix Mine doesn't have a strict schedule either. Similar to you we have a set bed time and bed time routine but no exact times. I basically just "hack" his wake windows and predict when he will be tired based on when he last woke up so it helps me to plan around that. But it's been a slow process, we weren't even able to get a set bed time until around 6 months because his sleep was just all over the place before that.
 
@benedix My baby is only 4 mo. but I just posted about this today! Our son isn’t on a schedule and likes to do his own thing. I am a VERY structured person and love routine. This child does not care about my preferences at all 😂 I’ve let go of the schedule thing and just decided to follow him. It’s made our life a lot better.

What I have struggled with is that he kind of dicks around during his wake windows. He will get up, drink 2 oz., want to play for a bit, drink another ounce, get sleepy, sleep for 10 min, wake up to eat another 3 oz, get sleepy again, fall back asleep. It’s like …okay….??? Anyway, we’re just guessing literally all the time
 
@benedix Besides the 3/3/4 rule, my daughter has no set schedule. We usually wake up at between 8-10am and just go from there. It's honestly been pretty nice. I'm a disabled mother so not having to stress about her schedule and just go with the flow has been a blessing.
 
@benedix My baby never sleeps in the pram/carseat, anywhere else other than on my chest or when we rock him on a fitness ball since the day he was born.

Sleep training is the only thing that worked. With even sleep training, he would only do long naps at home in his bed. Other places it will be 30minutes waking up screaming.

We are first time parents and when we went out and looked at other parents with their babies sleeping in the pram etc, we felt like failures/unfortunate at times. Some friends would comment like «why dont you just put him the pram to go appointment with you so he can sleep?» or «just go for a walk, he will sleep».

So I think you just have a unicorn baby.
 
@benedix We are the same with our 8 month old we do the same as you and I thought am I doing something wrong/setting ourselves up for failure? But I'm realising all babies and families are different amd this is working for us so will keep going x x x :)
 
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