Are there any other babies who never had a set schedule?

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benedix

New member
LO is now 11 months and we have never had a schedule. When she shows sleepy signs, we put her down for a nap. Most days now she naps twice, but sometimes naps 3 times (or even 4 the other day when she was really tired).

I am a pretty structured person and before I had her thought we would HAVE to get on a set schedule but it never happened because it just seemed so much easier to go off her queues so she was never over or under tired.

Has anyone else done this? I don’t understand why more people don’t do this? What am I missing about set schedules? It just looks like a lot of extra work for me now as we can go out / do things at any time and if she needs to sleep she sleeps in the car / pram etc. She has a fairly consistent bedtime around 6.30-7 so I won’t let her nap after 5pm but that’s pretty much the only restriction we have put in place.

Everyone I see on this thread talks about their x/x/x schedule though so I’m super curious if I’m missing something. Also for any new parents - no schedule has worked so well for us so don’t be afraid to try it to see if it works!
 
@benedix I wouldn’t say set schedule, rather set routine.. it helps us all out including baby from being over tired. My husband and I work, so she’s with the nanny and it helps the nanny instead of guessing and trying to figure if she’s tired, not tired enough, or over tired.
 
@benedix Mine didn't until about 8 months. We tried. Once he was down to one long nap around 10 months and he was sleep trained it was a game changer. Those 20 min naps are the worst.
 
@benedix Try the Napper app. It’s low key but it really helps me keep my baby on a schedule that I can manage. It is great at predicting when my daughter should go down for her nap and when her bedtime will be. It adjusts the timing depending on if she wakes up early or takes longer naps.
 
@benedix It seems like you are very in tune with her natural biological rhythm and that is fantastic! I wish I had that with mine. I think people go off of a schedule because they struggled being in tune with their kid’s rhythm like I did. Once we had a schedule, both my baby and I became much happier.
 
@benedix I think babies thrive off routine. Both of mine have but in slightly different ways. Our first thrived on routine but didn't need an exact schedule. Our second needs everything strict! He gets overtired very fast.

With all that said, if it ain't broke dont fix it!
 
@veni Ugh, I feel this. My husband is very lax with the schedule and a few days ago lulled our baby to sleep an hour and a half before her nap time because she was bored and fussy, and let her nap for half an hour! She refused to take her nap later on and was a monster until bedtime. He learned his lesson that day lmao
 
@benedix I’m a SAHM, so it’s a definitely a privilege that I can be more flexible. My 2yo (25mo) has a solid routine, but we don’t follow a schedule. He’s starting school next month 😭 and I’ll probably need to start implementing some sort of structure now that we have to get there at the same time every weekday morning.

He wakes up around 6:30-7am (sometimes as late as 7:30am) and I know that he’ll roughly be getting tired for his nap about 6ish hours after that, so we start to wind down a bit before that. We go to his room, read books, and he naps for about 2.5-3 hours.

We eat dinner as a family when my husband gets home (it varies daily), we spend some quality time together, he gets a bath, I brush his teeth, say goodnight to Dada and our dog, read books for 15-20 minutes, and it’s lights out. If it’s been a jam packed with lots of activities and stimulation, he’ll fall asleep in less than 20 minutes. If it’s been a slow day he might walk around his room, toss and turn for a bit, and it might take him longer.
 
@benedix We never had a SET schedule but each child is different and I feel like he kind of came into his own schedule. I feel like it’s fine if you’re a SAHM and with them all day but we had to create some sort of structure because both me and my husband work, so at the very least he had a set bedtime and nap time at daycare everyday. We’re a little more lenient on the weekends but usually try to stick to his same bedtime every night. But that’s what works for us.
 
@benedix I have a 4 month old and I don’t understand how people do schedules. Every wake up time is different so every sleep time is different so that means every feed time has to be different 😂

If I put her down for a nap but it’s 20 minutes when I “scheduled” for an hour, that throws off the whole day…

I just follow her cues. If it’s been a while since she’s eaten, I feed her. If she looks sleepy, I give her a nap.
 
@3eyeswideopen I had the same issue with mine, we didn’t come into a more predictable schedule when he turned 6.5 months and dropped to 2 naps and started sleeping longer during his naps too. Now he has 2 naps, morning usually around 2 hrs and afternoon 1 hr with 3/3/3 wake windows.
 
@secundus I was going insane around 5 months when he would sleep 30 minute naps. I had to train naps and it was awful and it took like 2 weeks of both of us crying, but once he got it, everyone was much happier. He’s 8 months now and a solid sleeper.
 
@dhtriplett That's amazing any tips? My 4.5 mo fall asleep independently for naps but they are 45 mins max and she is exhausted by the 3rd nap I have to usually extend by nursing back to sleep 😴
 
@secundus I sleep trained nights first around 5 months cause between 4-5 months we traveled overseas twice so I didn’t even bother. Once he was falling asleep independently for nights (started with 2 weeks of Ferber which helped a little but then went full extinction) then I started on naps. I used to rock to sleep and transfer or contact naps but it was becoming unsustainable.

So I started with leaving him 15 min to figure it out and then I would go in and try to soothe but ended up almost always holding him to sleep. So then I had to cut contact naps cold turkey and I hit him with doble whammy and also did crib hour. So first time he cried for a full hour and skipped the nap, it was awfuuuull, but for next nap he fell asleep right away cause he was so tired, and it just started progressing from there.

Like I said it was hard because training naps is not easy when they have a short period of time to learn this sleeping skill during the day. I don’t regret doing full extinction and although it’s terrible to hear them cry and it feels like forever, soon you forget all about the trauma of their crying once they start sleeping. He always wakes up happy and usually I have to go wake him up from naps because he’s so comfy in his crib and sleep sack.

Ps. Also even though it’s cliché to hear and you feel all the articles you read say the same and you don’t understand it at the time, IT IS INDEED developmentally normal at that age for them to take shorter naps. It does get better!! Hang on tight!
 
@benedix Yep this is how did it with all 3 kids. I will say it’s a luxury to have that kind of flexibility. Nap time became slightly more structured for my youngest once I had to start picking up my older kids from school by 3pm. But otherwise our kids would just have to sleep wherever. We never ran home for naps or any of that. They could sleep in the car or stroller or wherever. I have a great photo of my husband and I out for an incredible meal in San Diego and he’s eating a forkful of dessert while both our boys are asleep on his lap.
 
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