Anyone else following the Possums sleep approach?

[youcantsitwithus]

@rosyred It’s my pleasure! It was a game changer for me, and I couldn’t find any US groups or friends who had ever heard of it, so I’m happy to share.

My son is now 15 months and I guess the only thing I would add is to continue to pay attention to their cues and natural rhythms because they will continue to change. Don’t be afraid to experiment a bit (shorter naps, earlier vs later bedtimes etc.) we went from 2 1/2 hour total daytime sleep to 2 hours to 1 1/2 now. And yea, for naps, we have curtains open and no sound machine. Talking to my mom was helpful too! Because sometimes it really does feel like an infant sleep industry. So many things to buy

My son dropped to 1 nap fairly early (11 months I think?) but it was so easy because we’re constantly paying attention to how he was feeling. So if I was to listening to others, I would be nervous that it was too soon and fussing over getting him to nap more. Instead I realized he wasn’t sleepy/didn’t seem to need more than one nap, and that was the extent of the transition lol

There will be ups and downs (for us they coincided with leaps and teething) but otherwise just going with the flow has been such a relief. I love focusing more on nourishing activities and what we’re going to do/play that day rather than having massive anxiety about how he’s going to sleep.

Good luck!!

 

[philturner11]

@youcantsitwithus Lol! Infant sleep industry!! Couldn’t have thought of a better name!!!! So so so true...

 

[rosyred]

@youcantsitwithus Thank you! I actually discovered his first tooth today... which explains why nights have been horrible lately. This approach, it’s a breath of fresh air compared to everything else out there. Doesn’t make me feel like if I do any one thing wrong, I’ll be doomed to a life of sleepless nights and days forever! And yes, sleep training is definitely an industry and the costs are insane. This might be worth it though, so again, thank you for sharing your knowledge!

 

[totinen]

@rosyred Hi, we are also in new England, my son is 7.5M, and this "approach" did nothing to help us. In fact it's what we were already doing, my mom cares for my baby and puts him down when he seems tired, he gets stimulation in the form of interacting with his 3 year old brother, and they go outside as much as possible. Guess what? He's still an incredibly shitty night sleeper. Up at least 4 times a night, every 2-3 hours. Sometimes it's every 30 minutes. A few days ago he got up at 2:30 am and never fell back asleep. The possums thing sounds great if your baby is a naturally good sleeper, but mine aren't.

 

[rosyred]

@totinen Unfortunately, not one thing is going to work for everyone. I am sorry to hear that your kiddos aren’t great sleepers. I’m not sure if mine is yet? Conventional sleep training and nap schedules definitely weren’t working for us though and so far listening to him instead of following some obligatory guide based on his age, his wake windows are much longer than I was having him do and his naps have consolidated into two good naps instead of three shitty ones. I think the biggest thing I have taken away from Possums is that our children aren’t problem sleepers, they are children and learning how to fall asleep on their own and connect sleep cycles without waking up is something that comes with time and development (like every other skill they are mastering), not something you can force on them by ignoring them until they give up.

 

[jenny30]

@totinen I know this is an old post, but did your kiddo ever figure it out? It's hard to reconcile just letting your kid nap whenever he/she wants versus using wake windows as a general guide. My 9.5 mo son was doing so well with certain wake windows and napping for 3+ hours each day and only waking once a night, but now he's struggling with the second nap and waking more frequently at night OR once for a long time. The dark(ish) room and sound machine are nice and never got in his way.

I just recently returned to work and my SIL is watching my son at my house and using the same schedule I use and things are just off. He's on the verge of walking so he loves to pull himself up in his crib these days which interrupts his ability to just roll over and return to sleep.

I know sleep needs change so rapidly during the first two years, but it's hard to keep up! I also don't have the privilege of staying home anymore nor am I still breastfeeding. Let me know!

 

[gigagoirle]

@youcantsitwithus Omg I know this is an old thread but I might honestly cry tears of joy. FTM and I've literally been obsessed with ww and nap schedules for the entirety of my 10 mo's existence. It's been just bananas. Every time she gets up early I spiral and am in a heap crying on the floor bc I've felt like such a complete failure. It's been horrible for our marriage and I know I e been a psycho about sleep but I have honestly just been so scared that I've been messing up her little brain but not having perfect naps. It's been SO dark and now there might actually be a light at the end of the tunnel. Whoever you are that posted this - bless you and thank you a million times over!!¡!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to do some more digging on this bc it might be the thing that makes me not hate the person I've become.

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@gigagoirle Awww babe!! I'm sorry it's been so tough, and I'm so happy you found the post. Dig dig dig! Possums is the best. Let me know if you want to talk any of it through. My son is now almost 4

 

[tom34]

@youcantsitwithus Thank you so much for this detailed post!!! Would you mind sharing how this went for you through the toddler years? My daughter is 2 (25 months) and naps and sleep have recently become v difficult and someone commented on my post in r/cosleeping to look into this bc it’s taking anywhere from 20-50 mins to get her to sleep for nap and longer for bedtime.

Would love to hear your experience if you have time!

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@tom34 Hi there! Glad to hear the post was helpful. My son dropped all naps at 18 months LOL and only naps infrequently in the car or if he's a little sick. The Possums approach would say that if it takes more than 15 minutes or so to get them down for a nap then you should just move on to something else and try again later. Maybe some quiet play, maybe some reading. I know it's not easy to lose those naps but I figure it's better than fighting them to sleep when they don't need it. Plus if they're napping when they don't need it, it naturally will make bedtime harder because they've gotten to much daytime sleep. Doing a slightly later bedtime might be helpful too. Something that always helped us was getting up at the same time every morning and getting some sunshine first thing (like breakfast by a big window or even outside if the weather permits). The sun is amazing at helping set circadian rhythm and it'll take less than a week to see the results of that. I remember they said to do incrememntal changes over a week or two. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good luck!

 

[rodgersbestgen]

@youcantsitwithus We've been trying to integrate this approach as well - would you mind my asking how your journey was/is?

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@rodgersbestgen Added to the original post! Happy to answer any additional questions

 

[faerychild]

@youcantsitwithus I think I must have seen your post at least a month and a half ago and I can't stop thinking about it. In fact, I have been changing up my approach based off of your extremely detailed share about Possums guidelines and it's been extremely impactful! Just changing my mental landscape was a huge help. Bub is happier too, I'm sure, not being heavily persuaded/softly coerced to nap/sleep when all he wants to do is switch things up and interact. I have dug around on Possums site and have come really close (several times) to purchasing the bundle just cuz I'm also interested in what they have to say about breastfeeding...but the fact that they're asking for money gives me pause every time.

I understand they're a charity and I want to support a voice like theirs in all of the parenting commotion of today's world, but I can't help but feel like it's a little exclusionary to charge for their DIY educational material. Esp when they have consultants and accredited health care providers giving NDC care. Like, I'm a low income mom, unemployed during a pandemic, even. I'm not asking for a handout--I've been willing to pay for it a few times and maybe after another week I'll actually go for it this time. But isn't it just following the same model as any other sleep training consultation business but under the label and good feels of a non profit charity?

I guess I'm just wondering what your thoughts are about their product and whole business model. Are they as genuine as they claim to be? To anyone who has purchased their materials.

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@faerychild DMing you!!

 

[ng4760]

@youcantsitwithus I’m a little late to the party but thanks for sharing your experience, OP! I’m just discovering this approach and this has been helpful and encouraging.

 

[honeybear418]

@youcantsitwithus Also would love to share sensory play activities and ideas along with favorite baby carriers/wraps/slings
I really should just buy the membership !

 

[youcantsitwithus]

@honeybear418 The ring sling is my favorite. So easy to take anywhere, looks cute (whether baby is in it or not) and you can use it in a bunch of different ways. There's a bit of a learning curve, but it's worth it. Sensory activities for us always revolve around water, dirt, and the outdoors lol We've also explored making our own playdough (just flower and water) and other kitchen sensory things!

 

[cityboy]

@youcantsitwithus Thank you so much for this! I had stumbled across the website myself and was looking for someone like you to give a firsthand experience!

 

[philturner11]

@cityboy Me too! I’ve wasted 9 months postpartum stressing over my son’s overtiredness/undertiredness/wake windows and all those things instead of relying on his cues and my instincts! Tried sleep training too.. only to realise it’s not for us, spent a few weeks afterwards feeling guilty. I’ll follow the tips you mentioned too. Browsing through their website now for some videos. Also, a general question, is it okay if my 9 mo son takes 2 or 3 naps depending on his need instead of transitioning to 2 naps completely? Some days he’ll nap for 1.15 hrs one nap and 20/30 min the other, and sometimes he’ll take 3 30 min naps. I want to let go of the stress around this nap transition too. Slowly accepting his sleep and letting go of my expectations. I know he’ll sleep when he wants to, not when I force him to.

 

[nickblack]

@philturner11 My baby is almost 5 months old and I was like you, stressed about how many naps she should be doing every day until a week ago, when we had a failed sleep training attempt that really opened my eyes. I was trying too hard to get to the perfect 3 naps schedule for her, that we were all so stressed. The last week she's been back to some days 3 naps, some days 4. But you know what, she seems happier, I am happier, my husband is happier. You know what's best, so follow your gut and forget about what he should be doing. This is what I keep telling myself every day. It's hard to move from one way of thinking to another, but it's worth it!