Annoying comments about my son being small
- Thread starter pentie2003
- Start date
@browneyedgirl1010 It's not bad for any child to be huge really, unless it's effecting their health. Kiddo is 4 now and still really tall and beefy. I never said it was bad, only that people's unsolicited comments about his size were annoying and sometimes rude. Lol
browneyedgirl1010
New member
@browneyedgirl1010 First, I was just trying to relate to OP with a similar problem. I don't really know a lot of parents who want to hear how "massive, fat, huge" their toddler is, or to only hear comments about them going into athletics because BIG KID ATHLETE RAAAH. It's dumb. The whole post was asking for advice on letting the comments roll off and I was just offering solidarity because the unsolicited comments bother me. This is a bit of a reach on your part.
And second, dude this post and my comment, are over two years old. My kid was two when I wrote that? He'll be 5 soon. Kinda weird for you to bring up an old ass comment just to be contrarian, don't ya think?
And second, dude this post and my comment, are over two years old. My kid was two when I wrote that? He'll be 5 soon. Kinda weird for you to bring up an old ass comment just to be contrarian, don't ya think?
browneyedgirl1010
New member
@thyatira Yeah I don't know, it's all about the intention behind the comments isn't it. Not sure if you really don't get it or are just gaslighting but I'll bite...
These comments are not on par. Being big and well built conveys advantage, being an athlete is not exactly a bad thing, I'd be happy if these were comments my kid received. People were just giving you compliments that you are bragging about. On the other hand what is the possible intention behind people saying thay your kid, especially boy, is so small. Yeah because that is fantastic for him. This is either straight up said in bad faith or by someone insensitive.
I don't see the relevance of how old the comment is lol. I responded to it when I came across it.
These comments are not on par. Being big and well built conveys advantage, being an athlete is not exactly a bad thing, I'd be happy if these were comments my kid received. People were just giving you compliments that you are bragging about. On the other hand what is the possible intention behind people saying thay your kid, especially boy, is so small. Yeah because that is fantastic for him. This is either straight up said in bad faith or by someone insensitive.
I don't see the relevance of how old the comment is lol. I responded to it when I came across it.
@browneyedgirl1010 Do make sure you go say the same thing to the other commenters who mentioned having the opposite problem as well, I can't be the only one to hear the good word! We all need to know how insensitive we are and how the damaging effects of size comments/expectations magically don't exist for bigger kids. I feel so educated and empowered, how could I ever worry about my child being overweight or abnormal? How silly of me to feel bad every time someone called him a mini sumo wrestler, or a linebacker instead of seeing literally anything else about him. Silly me. I'll spread the good word that only small babies and their parents can be hurt by size comments.
It doesn't matter what size the damn kid is. And i really hate that you keep saying "especially boy", it's weirdly misogynistic and kind of gross. "Big" is not magically a compliment because the kid has a penis? Imagine hearing nothing but comments about how massive you are your whole childhood. Imagine how ostracizing it is to be way above or below the average and have your size be the only thing people notice about you.
It doesn't matter what size the damn kid is. And i really hate that you keep saying "especially boy", it's weirdly misogynistic and kind of gross. "Big" is not magically a compliment because the kid has a penis? Imagine hearing nothing but comments about how massive you are your whole childhood. Imagine how ostracizing it is to be way above or below the average and have your size be the only thing people notice about you.
browneyedgirl1010
New member
@thyatira Yeah sorry your getting triggered is not really going to get a raise out of me. I stand by what I said, you know you were bragging and just feel bad because someone pointed it out.
I do feel the same way about everyone else here humble bragging/fake whinging their kid was called a 'future athlete'. Oh no. Poor you... You have a healthy, robust child. You can pass on the message yourself if you want.
I do feel the same way about everyone else here humble bragging/fake whinging their kid was called a 'future athlete'. Oh no. Poor you... You have a healthy, robust child. You can pass on the message yourself if you want.
@browneyedgirl1010 It wasn't a brag. Because I don't feel like "lumberjack" is a compliment to a parent when they're sitting in an endocrinologist office to make sure their "huge toddler" doesn't have a disease. He wasn't healthy. He was big. He didn't LOOK healthy, he looked big. He looked tall, he looked fat, and no one saw anything else about him. I'm sorry you got triggered by specifically my comment when there are at least 6 other people saying exactly the same thing I did.
I'm also sorry you're really insecure and feel the need to be mad at someone else for having a different problem. Have a day.
I'm also sorry you're really insecure and feel the need to be mad at someone else for having a different problem. Have a day.
browneyedgirl1010
New member
@thyatira Okay I think it's pretty obvious from this exchange who is triggered... You know people have the right to express their opinion, they may not agree with you. Also lol all these new detail suddenly coming out, I don't recall your mentioning initially "sumo" and "lumberjack" comments. It all starts to sound a bit made up...
gladicame7
New member
@pentie2003 My now 7yo is still very petite and has a super cute voice- people treat him like he’s a toddler and he looks minuscule when lined up with his class. People comment on it all the time. Sometimes people will see him walking or riding his bike 20 feet in front of me and say ‘is he with you?’ like I’ve allowed a toddler too much freedom.
pentie2003
New member
@gladicame7 I went to school with all of the same people from elementary to Highschool and boys who were always “shorter” ended up being super tall in Highschool. That’s why I never judge a child who seems “shorter than average.” Because you never know when they’ll go through that growth spurt.
@pentie2003 My son is exactly the same way! Born at 39+2 and he was just over 6lbs, he’s a little over 2 now and not quite 24lbs. The comments get old after a while, but I just remember that he’s happy and healthy and that’s what matters most. You could always say something like.. “Sure he looks small, but he’s got a big personality!” to shift the comments away from his physical appearance.
pentie2003
New member
dallasthomas
New member
@sabu935 This is like the size of my son. He always gets that comment, too, about how small he is. I think the worst is when they say “so is he 1?” implying like he just turned 1 even though he just turned 2. And people compare him to a kid born close to his due date (my son born 3 months early) but that kid was already at 7 pounds at 38 weeks. Not to mention that kid is husky and eats a lot.
@pentie2003 Wow! I can completely relate. My daughter is 6 now and is finally 42” tall! That’s a huge milestone for us. She’s finally able to ride on the big kid rides (with an adult) lol my husband is 6ft tall my older daughter (11) is 5’3! And I’m 5’5
dixieriderxx
New member
@avoiceof1 And I get it on the other side.
My 3 year old is a bit over 42” tall and has hypotonia. She “looks” normal so I get all kinds of comments about how skinny she is, how inappropriate it is for me to be carrying her, why is she in a stroller, etc.
Trust me people. It would be much easier if my low tone child wasn’t so long. It would help her balance a lot!!!
My 3 year old is a bit over 42” tall and has hypotonia. She “looks” normal so I get all kinds of comments about how skinny she is, how inappropriate it is for me to be carrying her, why is she in a stroller, etc.
Trust me people. It would be much easier if my low tone child wasn’t so long. It would help her balance a lot!!!
evangbessawa
New member
@pentie2003 My two kids are fairly wildly different in size. My first is the big one (both were small at birth, 6lb13oz and 6lb, but climbed the charts after that). If he was my second, no doubt he would be catching his sister quickly. He’s been ~ the same height as his cousin (who is almost 2 years older) since he was like 18 months. My second is more middle of the charts.
Both are perfectly healthy. As, I’m sure, are both of your boys. It’s annoying that people don’t realize one kid can just be smaller than another.
No real advice other than ‘his doctor says he’s healthy’ ‘we think he’s perfect’ etc
Both are perfectly healthy. As, I’m sure, are both of your boys. It’s annoying that people don’t realize one kid can just be smaller than another.
No real advice other than ‘his doctor says he’s healthy’ ‘we think he’s perfect’ etc
@pentie2003 I have the opposite issue but still feel the frustration with this none the less. My daughter is the size of a 2 year old at only being 13 months old, then when the "omg shes so big for her age!" And "what are you feeding her?" Comments start rolling out I always give a visible eye roll and shoot back with "everyone is different and that's all there is to it." usually keeping my response cold, blunt and short gets the comments to stop pretty quickly. I've done this with family members as well as strangers, some people just dont get it!
jollybriston
New member
@pentie2003 Both of my kids are in the 90+% for height and I got both comments "oh she's small for her age" "oh she's tall for her age". I've come to the conclusion people just have no idea what the average range is for kids. 
dallasthomas
New member
@jollybriston This helps me affirm that people have no clue about children sizes. Although it is annoying when clothing for kids is basically no better than women’s sizes.