Am I overreacting to my non-mom friends saying “just pump!” ?

[heelo]

@bigred009 If her dog does that better train it or get rid of it that's gross lol

 

[bigred009]

@heelo It would happen if she left it alone too long no matter how well trained it is. That’s literally how dogs work and why she’s asking that the group meet at her house.

 

[alabamaprogressive]

@ckatiejo My girl, I would do the same. You do you. If you need to skip hanging out with them beforehand, fine. I would explain to them again and then let it be what it is, but your baby is way more important than a dog and you can tell them that your mom friends on Reddit agree, lol

 

[amazinggrace94]

@ckatiejo As both a dog mom and a mom who breastfeeds… the way you minimize her needs by saying ‘it’s “just” a dog’, is not cool. Dogs don’t like to be alone, and mind you, the dog is your friends baby.

Before I had my human baby I was afraid I wouldn’t love her as much as I love my dog baby. I was so very wrong, but this is generally how much people love their dogs.

In my opinion both of you are inflexible and could take a stap towards the other. But for you to say ‘it’s just a dog’ is insensitive. Plus, like others pointed out, pregaming at your place won’t be as much fun.

 

[baherring1s]

@ckatiejo My (now) SIL was breastfeeding when I got married. I told her to pick a dress in navy that would make her feel comfortable. If she needed to fit it for feeding, no problem. My husband and I asked her to be in the wedding, but also told her it was no problem if she needed to miss it entirely for her baby.

I told her to tell me what she needed (bc I had no idea) and that I would try to make it happen.

I cannot imagine telling a breastfeeding mom that my dog (even though I love her) was more important than her feeding schedule.

Why can't your friend just run home to let the dog out a couple times?

Or, just curious, what does her dog do when she goes to work? Can't she just leave it behind like she does for work?

 

[ckatiejo]

Hello all! Thank you so much for all of your responses. I am so appreciative of everyone’s POV. You have humbled me Like I said in the original post, there’s so many other factors I didn’t feel worth mentioning. However, everyone’s responses have made me feel so seen and normal about the whole situation

 

[mygodisawesome]

@ckatiejo Maybe my dogs are just easy going but I would be pissed if someone thought their dog was more important than my child. A dog walker is cheaper than childcare.

 

[believer117]

@ckatiejo My friend compares her puppy to my baby constantly and it drives me nuts. As a dog and baby mom, there’s a major difference! You have every right to be annoyed.

 

[katrina2017]

@ckatiejo I would throw all of those relationships in the trash. So no, I don't think you're being petty.

 

[michael77]

@ckatiejo Wait till she has one

 

[robdc22]

@ckatiejo I totally get your feelings about the situation. Maybe just explain it is easier to feed the baby live from the boob, and it’s also better for your production to feed live compared with pumping.

What I’m asking myself, wth is your pregnant friend going to the concert. Don’t know how far along she is and if the baby’s hearing is completely developed, but research has found that prolonged exposure to loud noises may contribute to hearing loss in the baby.

It’s definitely advised against going to concerts pregnant where I’m from (the Netherlands)

 

[jmendez1240]

@ckatiejo It’s Taylor Swift, isn’t it.

 

[destinedtorein]

@ckatiejo Pumping is the worst, but I don’t think anyone knows how bad it really is until they have to do it themselves

 

[firebrand4him]

@ckatiejo I would skip hanging out beforehand. It sucks that they don’t see the irony in their statement and I would directly point it out. Pumping is a chore and adds on additional duties. They can’t possibly understand that but I wouldn’t cave. I hope you have a great night out with your friends and enjoy the concert. You are doing amazing.

 

[kernowtris]

@ckatiejo I totally understand. When my oldest was like 4 months old, my sister in law invited me to come to a pool thing with her and her daughter, and I replied I didn’t think out in the sun all day like that would be good for my baby so we’d have to pass. She was like “just leave her at home and come without her” knowing that I was breastfeeding, I told her that meant I would need to bring a pump, figure out a way to pump while there, and a way to store my milk, and at that time my daughter refused bottles, so my husband wouldn’t even be able to feed her while I was gone. She was so mad I didn’t come, I still don’t even get why she was so insistent on it, it’s not like we hang out a ton.

It happened again, when my second was around the same age, they were going out of state for her bachelorette party to hang out in a river in 100+ degree heat and drink. She told me to just leave the kids with my husband for the weekend, and I’m like yeah drinking in the heat and trying to figure out pumping sounds like literal hell. She was so pissed off I wouldn’t go.

 

[johnclark023]

@ckatiejo If it’s most important for you to BF, then just don’t pregame. I know it sucks and you want your friends to accommodate you but if they don’t get it then they don’t get it and they won’t until they’re in the same situation. I would say, “hey all the variables are making me a little anxious. I think I’ll be able to better enjoy the concert with y’all if i just skip the pregame. l’ll meet you guys at the door to concert.”

 

[katrina2017]

@ckatiejo I get that it’s frustrating. I hate pumping. But I also feel like, if you’re going to do something different like attend a concert, your day might have to be a little different. Maybe because my child has refused to stick to a consistent routine I usually am just like whatever and we do what we want and baby will usually adjust too. You seem annoyed about her dog but she could be annoyed about your baby. Especially knowing that you do pump normally and things work out.

I also get wanting to get the nap schedule right. And some babies don’t do so well on different nap schedules. But thinking to when my sister had her baby and we traveled 12+hours sometimes to see them. And then saying “well we have to leave baby has to nap” it was reeeeally frustrating.

I’m sure you’ll work something out, it’s tough having kids and doing normal things

 

[aliceb]

@ckatiejo Easier in the long run to find the humor in these situations but it definitely isn't easy. I went to various events for a family wedding this weekend and the some of the comments from my SIL who really wanted to breastfeed her two kids but who things didn't work out for after a few weeks just tickled me.

Eg: She apologized for not bringing me alcohol test strips so I could test my milk when I got home (I hardly drank prepregnancy and drink even less now) and asking how nightweaning was going (my son is only 5 months old and only wakes once overnight to feed anyway).

She always told me she had a lot of supply issues and was mainlining body armors/covertly obtained Domperidone/trying power pumping now I'm just wondering how often she was putting baby to boob lol.

 

[lmr]

@ckatiejo Good lord. This friend needs to get a freaking Rover or not give you any grief when you just go at 4 and skip the hangout.

 

[fezzer]

@ckatiejo Meh, you’re not over reacting. I agree with what others are saying: these women do not understand how much goes into pumping and therefore think it’s no big deal. You’re simply altering YOUR plans, not the group at large, so I don’t understand why they have an issue at all.