@ckatiejo It's not very sensitive of them to ask you but maybe they really want to spend time with you, having your undivided attention, and it is easy to be distracted when you also need to care for your baby? And I guess at the concert you won't chat, just sing and dance! So it could be coming from a good place....
@ckatiejo Yep, friend thinks we can leave our small breastfed baby all day and overnight to come to a child free wedding that’s four hours away. I stay home with my kids. I do have a pump, but do you have any idea how many weeks of regularly pumping around feeds for a few ounces each time it would take to get enough to leave her for 36 hours. Not to mention she doesn’t usually take bottles, might not eat at all, like no lol. Congrats, enjoy the wedding you want, but I won’t be coming to it.
@ckatiejo What does the friend with the dog do when she’s at work? Can she not do that? If it’s ok to suggest it to you then it must be ok to suggest the same to her.
But both situations are complicated. They don’t understand how pumping sucks and nursing is better and easier. But dogs are also demanding and not all dogs cope well being left, and need regular toileting outside and depending on where and when, dog walkers are either expensive or hard to find. Unless she has other pet care (like childcare) near by it’s not easy to go out when you have a dog.
@ckatiejo I don't blame you a bit, I avoid pumping like the plague. Maybe just try to explain to them why you don't like pumping and maybe they'll try to understand. But honestly they won't really get it until they're in those shoes
@ckatiejo Yeah baby above dog any day IMO. Even if they haven’t been through it if they are good friends they should know what you go through as a working breastfeeding mom and how you value the chances you do get to feed your baby yourself and how difficult it is to plan around a child’s schedule.
@ckatiejo Ok so there are two things - 1) your choice to pump/feed is yours alone. Sure someone can make a suggestion but the same way that your friend doesn’t want to let her dog home alone you don’t want to leave your kid. Both valid points.
2) there may be more going on than just what you shared about friend #2. If she is not so kind you may want to distance yourself if her comments make you feel uncomfortable or dissed…
Separately you can say no to the get together in her terms the same way your friend did.
@ckatiejo I 100% percent feel you!
But I have to admit I was so incredibly ignorant and blank of knowledge concerning theses issues before having or planning to have a kid. I kind of understand your friends‘ ignorance too. She probauhas no idea how annoying and even insulting her comment was.
