Am I doing something wrong?

[chase33]

Hello there

I am a SAHM to a beautiful baby boy.
As a SAHM, I am fortunate enough to be able to spend most of the time with my son, and we have become quite close.
However, recently I have noticed that, when we have family over or when I take him out for a play, he no longer interacts with me and seems quite happy within himself not to do so.

Although I am happy to see him enjoying himself and having fun around family members, I cannot help but feel slightly insecure.

I guess my question is : am I doing something wrong? Has he not bonded with me as well as he should or is this normal?

TIA x

 

[dustinthewind]

@chase33 You’ve actually got it a bit mixed around.

A securely attached child will happily interact with others and play away from their main caregiver as they know they will always be there in there if needed.

A child with attachment issues will often cling to their parent as they are terrified if they let go (physically and emotionally) their caregiver might disappear.

Obviously there is a lot of other factors that play into this including personality, but you should be happy your kid is secure and confident.

 

[eternitysdream]

@dustinthewind This.

 

[chase33]

@dustinthewind Thank you for the reply

 

[lxa93]

@chase33 My son completely does his own thing when we are out somewhere. He only comes back to me when he needs something or is upset. He’s turning 2 in May and I’ve been home with him his entire life. I think it’s completely normal, and if anything, it means we’ve raised strong, independent little boys.

 

[chase33]

@lxa93 Thank you for the reply. It's a relief

 

[twm]

@chase33 Totally normal!

 

[chase33]

@twm Have you experienced the same? X

 

[twm]

@chase33 Absolutely! How old is your baby?
My first only wanted me all the time. Once she hit 2 she’ll go off & play at the park & im following her around. Before I had to be involved in everything, but now she doesn’t care 50% of the time. But my second loves absolutely everyone. She’s only 8 months, but at this stage my first was in a huge stranger danger phase & didnt want anyone else. My second lets complete strangers (to her) hold her all the time & she’s totally fine with it. Same with playing on the floor. Caught me off guard & I am not so secretly enjoying the break that it gives me. I know she’s bonded with me just fine, it’s just a difference in personality.

 

[chase33]

@twm You're right, it's about personality as well!
He's 14m old

 

[austin6509]

@chase33 Hahaha!! I've noticed the same thing with my daughter (15 months). She doesn't care about me at all when her grandma or other interesting people are around .

I honestly think it means that they ARE securely attached to us. And that's why they feel secure to leave / play with others. They know they can count on you to still be there for them!

 

[chase33]

@austin6509 Thank you so much for the reply. First time mom here so I can get a bit insecure

 

[epitome]

@chase33 So normal!! My son is super attached to me but when his grandads around, I’m like the devil

 

[chase33]

@epitome

 

[greatpersonwhohasluck]

@chase33 As everyone says, it’s totally normal and shows you’ve done a great job of building such high levels of trust with your little one that he just knows you’ll be there when he needs you so he’s confident to move around and explore. No doubt he does do little check ins, glancing in your direction occasionally.

Lean into it, if he wants to play with people you trust in a safe environment (e.g his grandma while at her baby proofed house) take some time to have a little break, actually sit down and drink your cup of tea while it’s hot or go to the bathroom. He will perfectly fine but if he needs you, you aren’t far

 

[chase33]

@greatpersonwhohasluck Thanks so much for the reply
Yes, he does little check-ins

 

[bef]

@chase33 You’re doing an awesome job! Your son sounds like he is a confident and well adjusted little lad.

 

[chase33]

@bef Thank you for the reply and the reassurance!
He definitely is , and very affectionate towards other family members
A very proud mama

 

[nic227]

@chase33 You’re doing nothing wrong and I say enjoy this time when he’s having fun with others. I loved this time since I’d be able to get on with something else or just have half hour to myself. He’s still like this now but will make sure I’m about every so often

 

[chase33]

@nic227 Thank you for the reassurance first time mom here so I can overthink things sometimes