We are doing no electronics during the school week for the month of May. It's changed the whole family dynamic. Maybe you should try it, too

[bennish]

@sf111 We have "no screen days" on Tuesday and Thursday. I get what you mean about changing the whole dynamic- almost immediately they stopped sprinting off the bus to get on Minecraft, even on "screen days." It's like removing the assumption of screens reactivated their desire to do other things, even on days they would have been allowed.

Plus, making a concrete rule makes it so much easier to say no without having to have an argument about it

 

[aloysicus]

@sf111 Ours is so young and I'm pretty anti screen so it amazes me the pressure you get from people about it. Like, why do you care?

 

[randytheoldguy]

@sf111 My kids have had to do their workout before getting into their electronics.

They hated it. It still bothers them. They also get their electronics taken away if they can't pull themselves away to answer their mother.

We still have problems, but self regulation is a big part of our lives.

 

[mrdann]

@sf111 People eliminating screens or only giving 1-2 30-minute windows a week is akin to extreme diets that call for eliminating entire food groups or calorie types. Like another commenter mentioned, this seems more like an issue with routines and boundaries instead of an issue due to screens. Removing screens entirely is just a crutch instead of having an opportunity to teach them about moderation.

The 9 y.o. colored & drew with his sisters for a few hours. They all went out and played with neighborhood friends every afternoon. Everyone read books. And best of all, everyone sleeps better. More running around after school + no screens blasting blue light into eyes = lights out before 9pm for all 3.

The same things happen in our house without having to eliminate screens.

 

[kwaku]

@mrdann I disagree. Screens are an experiment and we are the guinea pigs. We do not know the actual effects they have on development, but initial data is very bad. We simply don't know if they're something that can be healthily regulated by the average person, but right now everything indicates that they cannot, and you're basically advocating for people having a "healthy black tar heroin" habit.

Edit: Adding that I am a massive hypocrite, and my children are on screens, but I know that I need to do better with it.

 

[mrdann]

@kwaku

Screens are an experiment and we are the guinea pigs.

I disagree on this. TVs have been widespread since the 50s. Many of us grew up with things like Atari, NES, and Gameboy. I had computer classes in school when I was a kid. Screens aren't an experiment anymore, they're an integral part of our lives.

We do not know the actual effects they have on development, but initial data is very bad.

This has been studied, so we do know the effects on development. Which is why experts recommend limited amounts of it for babies, and increasing it over time as they age while curating their experiences.

We simply don't know if they're something that can be healthily regulated by the average person, but right now everything indicates that they cannot, and you're basically advocating for people having a "healthy black tar heroin" habit.

This is extreme hyperbole. Comparing screens to a heroin habit is over the top.

my children are on screens, but I know that I need to do better with it.

My kids use screens too and they're fine. I also actively encourage them to do other things and get them out of the house for activities. And since we don't treat screens like drugs and enable them to have access to them, they're fine with putting them down or voluntarily choosing to do something else.

 

[uponone]

@mrdann

The same things happen in our house without having to eliminate screens

It's marvellous what can happen when you don't have the same dysregulation issues as someone else.
Trust me, ADHD and 'moderation' don't fit together very often.

 

[mrdann]

@uponone We have a kid that we suspect has it based on symptoms and are in the process of getting them evaluated. ADHD is one factor but it's another point to the argument that screens aren't the root issue here.

 

[mommyof31977]

@sf111 Yo! Your kids we’re outta control, bro! Up to 45 minutes of screen time a day?!?! I shocked they aren’t out raping and murdering, or selling their bodies for drugs.

 

[sf111]

@mommyof31977 I wasn't going to talk about it, but we've already run out of compost bins to store the bodies in out backyard.

I keep talking to them about "good knife skills" and "bad knife skills" but they just don't listen.

 

[mommyof31977]

@sf111 How can this listen when you are pumping them with almost an HOUR of tv a day?!? Their brains are mush

 

[jjlames]

@sf111 What if I've gone the other way and have TV on for my 2.5 year old all day long every day?

It's all stuff we put on, and it's like bluey or Daniel tiger or number blocks etc

But still

It's all the time

 

[sf111]

@jjlames I do feel like television is different than tablets / phone screens for two reaons:

1. The screen is actually way less of your field of view. A TV is maybe 10% of FOV because you sit further away. A phone may be >40% of FOV because you hold it so close even though the screen is tiny. Much more blue light.
   
2. TV programming is actually quite different--cognitively--than YT shorts / Tiktok / YouTube videos. I think the YouTube effect is worse for a brain than just "screen" in general. (but I also think screens aren't necessarily great)

I had a roommate in college who had to have a TV on all the time. Good for her, I guess. It didn't effect me 'cause I'm profoundly hard of hearing so I'd just sit with my back to the TV and couldn't hear it anyway.

But I did notice that she'd take 3x longer to do almost any sensible task because she'd stand and watch TV for 10 minutes in the middle of anything else she was doing.

 

[wareh]

@sf111 Similar experience with my 4.5 yo with ADHD. We did no screens for a long time. Then a bit of screens on the weekend. Then he had a rough patch so we let him have more screens, played on the Switch with me, etc. Then the addiction behaviours started and got worse so we went cold turkey. That was in January. We kept off screens until the baseball season started, though he can watch cartoons at his grandparents.

We’ll turn sports on (hockey or baseball) approaching bedtime, which keeps his attention while he has a bedtime snack. It doesn’t produce the same type of reaction when we turn it off that Paw Patrol or Fireman Sam or other cartoons have. We will occasionally do a very limited half hour of cartoons on the odd weekend, which has been successful.

With his intense hyperactivity, it’s pretty easy to find other activities, we just rotate through all of them.

 

[guest1564]

@sf111 We've don't do electronics for our kids who don't have a phone and my oldest who does have a phone knows she can't be glued to that thing all the time. And it's a fair rule and she honestly doesn't even use it that much compared to most kids.

We have a family computer that sometimes the kids will sit around together and watch a movie or video but it's rare and mainly on weekends. If they do, it is monitored by us considering it is in the kitchen.

I have noticed a lot of differences in my kids behaviour compared to kids who do have constant access to a device. Not telling people how to parent but it's just an observation. And when I have given into too much screen time, my kids are always different in a bad way

 

[aokiemom]

@sf111 This is phenomenal - well done to you guys!

Apologies if this has been asked and answered already: how do you guys manage screens and school work? Eg if they have assessment and need to research or digitally complete the work?

(Definitely keeping something like this in mind for when my LO is older)