We are doing no electronics during the school week for the month of May. It's changed the whole family dynamic. Maybe you should try it, too

[amirah129]

@sf111 Even then, speaking as a dad with ADHD, I have to put several checks and balances in place to not waste my time on screens or hyperfocus on other activities. After a long workday when my meds are wearing off I don't have enough energy left, and I literally cannot just sit on the phone for 10 minutes and then make myself go about my day. If I'm unmedicated I can do that only when I'm not stressed, when I've gotten a good nights sleep, when I've been exercising regularly and I haven't been thrown off my routine. If one of those things fall by the wayside I'm dependant on having my environment adjusted to still be able to function as I want.

I have to do things like leave my phone on the hallway counter when I get home to be present with my son, not sit down on the sofa before having done the dishes for the evening, tell my family that if they see me sitting on my phone they have permission to take it from me and remind me to do something else.

 

[whiteisfamily]

@sf111 I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD. ADHD is an impediment, but that just makes it harder.

My parents punished me for not moderating it myself. If I wanted ANY screen time I had to learn how to moderate it myself. Taught me creativity.

I remember I would hide during commercials with a stop watch so I could get an extra TV show on Saturdays or I would record things on vhs so I could fast forward.

 

[strangekeys]

@whiteisfamily Screens can easily become addictive, especially when exposed early. You don't give someone all the heroin they want and tell them not to take too much. You just give them a little heroin on the weekend.

I joke, but people, let alone kids, often need help making good choices. It isn't a crutch. It's love.

 

[gosd]

@sf111 Does anyone else find it ironic the person lecturing everyone on screentime for kids has himself made 21 comments (large thought out ones too) over the last 2 hours on this thread?

 

[mrdann]

@gosd It's not ironic, it's called being hypocritical.

 

[sf111]

@gosd Yes.

 

[jonathanat]

@sf111 Wow! Kudos!

 

[asquirrel]

@sf111 We did the same a few years ago. It was really hard for a while, especially the stop times. Years later they are better able to self-regulate and prioritize their time. They still get the occasional attitude, but that passes quicker than before.

We have expanded the time allowed as they got older. Almost 11 & 13 now. It gets harder as the socialization becomes more online with their school peers.

I see the issues unrestricted phone and electronics have caused with my nieces. No thank you.

We still stick to the no screens on school nights. Sundays it all gets shut off at dinner time and doesn’t come back until Friday after school.

The youngest has entered negotiations with the wife and I to allow mid-week gaming with his friends. He didn’t want to play Spring baseball this year, so if he adds an after school activity then we may allow a scheduled mid-week gaming session with friends or a Zoom Dungeons and Dragons session.

 

[sdw3]

@sf111 Good on you. Kids will find ways to entertain themselves even if they don't have screens. We give our kids very limited screen time (just some TV) so we've managed to avoid a lot of this drama. The kids find plenty of stuff to do anyway.

 

[hisagent]

@sf111 It’s crazy that the thing I found the most out of this world here is the idea that they would go out and play with neighborhood friends, especially at 9. It’s something we always did when I was a kid in the 80s, but it’s something my children don’t have here. I live in a residential area with houses and it’s always a whole process to get kids to meet on weekends (we have to invite the parents too), forget about after school. Anyway, congrats!

 

[thecostofthecross]

@sf111 So, my wife and I are still about six months away from having our first, but ... do you guys just not watch nightly TV/sports anymore? We usually watch Jeopardy with dinner at 7:30 and then a couple episodes of a show we're watching or a basketball game. I guess with a baby/toddler they're still going to bed early enough?

 

[arcforever]

@thecostofthecross They won’t give two shits about the tv being on if it’s not what they want. Lol.

5 and 2 year olds here. We do the same. 5:30-6:30 is nightly news or football or whatever and the kids ignore the tv like it’s not even on.

 

[thecostofthecross]

@arcforever Haha ok, that’s a relief!

 

[sf111]

@thecostofthecross Once kids got over about 3 years old, yeah.

No TV for us grown-ups because if we have TV on after bed they're just gonna come out and demand to watch

 

[godstweetybird]

@sf111 Not a critique but a question I've been encountering from my kids. How do you answer the question, "Well why do you get to have screens?" When they see me on my phone. 90% of the time I'm on it in their presence, it's for work (WFH). I tend to do more leisure screens after they go to bed

 

[sf111]

@godstweetybird When they're home and not in bed, I am only really on screen to read them kindle books.

My son did point out today that it's not fair I use screens all day and I replied I earn my living on screens because I'm a knowledge worker.

He replied that he's a knowledge worker too, but his pay is crap and he is going to go "en grève" (on strike) for better working conditions.

 

[rusty_boi]

@sf111 We don’t use electronics during the school week, ever. It’s glorious.

 

[sf111]

Yeah, it's really "no screens for the kids + no parent phones when the kids are home.

I work on the internet all day during the week.

 

[searching00]

@sf111 Kudos to you! We’ve done the same on weekdays and agree, love the results. Still hoping to cut down the screen time on weekends, too, but it’s a good start. They definitely have learned to entertain themselves better.

 

[hockey_fan]

@sf111 We have had this for going on 17 years. There's a box by the front door anyone that comes over there phone goes in the box. Got three kids two teenagers and one grade schooler. Bothers me when we go to visit family and everyone is just sitting there on there phones.