What am I doing wrong ?

[jks777]

@heavensvoice I know

 

[heavensvoice]

@jks777 Then why suggest it or bring it up?

 

[jks777]

@heavensvoice I said it’s not ideal and I type how I speak so it doesn’t always translate

 

[damonfriend]

@ricksmith How has he not already received a summons to court for this? You’re not doing anything wrong, he should have CS services up his ass about this.

 

[ricksmith]

@damonfriend Couldn’t agree more he changes address& probably lies about where he lives now

 

[heavensvoice]

@ricksmith That doesn’t matter. Just serve him papers. If you have to do it at a pickup or drop off because you don’t know where he lives (also probably a violation of your order) then so be it. You need to get tough and start standing up for yourself.

 

[ricksmith]

@heavensvoice He has tried to give me money under the table do you know why he would do that ?

 

[heavensvoice]

@ricksmith Because he’s stupid. Tell him you want it through whatever agency is in charge. He probably doesn’t want them knowing he’s working and is lying to them.

 

[ricksmith]

@heavensvoice You are so right I knew it was to sketchy to accept

 

[heavensvoice]

@ricksmith It’s fine. he’s the one that would end up screwed over if you said he never gave it to you or that it was a gift and not CP. only the money going through the agency is counted unless one of you reports the payment to them with proof.

 

[discoinferno1978]

@ricksmith I have two exes. Two kids from each marriage the first ex taught the second ex how to beat paying much or at all. It adds up they will be paying me for years after the kids are grown. Each child is supposed to receive 150 each. Both exes owe 3k each. They both switch jobs frequently to avoid paying from their checks. Then when I ask for a check on how much should be paid or adjusted they both switch jobs for the lowest paying job until it’s over then they return to their medical jobs.

So the kids and I just learn to deal with what we have on what I make. Dads are stingy and suck in my world. Good luck and keep your head up.

 

[heavensvoice]

@ricksmith You aren’t doing anything wrong. His faults are not yours.

This is the way I look at child support:

Should my child’s father contribute to his necessities and quality of life? Obviously. Can I make him? No. What he does only reflects on him and our child isn’t stupid. He will see this for himself one day and my ex is shooting himself in the foot. Fine.

So all of that in mind, I NEVER rely on that money. I make sure we will always be comfortable without it. I am the sole provider. IF I get anything from his dad it’s a bonus and increases my emergency savings/our present quality of life. It gets split equally into my savings account and our recreational money.

My ex is more than $25k in arrears. Another 4K with extracurricular expenses and health expenses. I don’t know the actual amount because I don’t bother checking. I don’t expect to get it unless he wins the lottery.