@ohiobeekeeper i got sent home with contractions about a minute apart
A FTM birth plan thrown to the wind
- Thread starter snowtrekker
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maximus1215
New member
@maximus1215 So to give you the story I went to the hospital around midnight on a Thursday and got sent home when my contractions were about a minute apart because I was only 1cm dilated. So I went home and curled up next to my toilet throwing up & crying in pain until about 10am when I caved and couldn’t do it anymore & went back to the hospital. When I got there I was 5cm dilated and contractions were constant and weren’t stopping at all. I was in tears begging for an epidural and they kept beating around the bush saying they don’t think I’ll even get admitted & will probably be sent back home. By 11am I was admitted (still 5cm), got the epidural & about 20 mins later they gave me pitocin (which I declined btw) because I “wasn’t progressing fast enough” and they broke my water. After being put on pitocin my pain went from a 5 or a 6 to a 50. Every time I got a contraction it felt like every bone in my body was breaking and it got to the point where I was so exhausted I couldn’t push anymore because the pain really was that bad. Around 1am on Friday (so day after), a new OB finally came in (never saw an OB that I knew & never had the same one twice at appointments) and asked how I was doing and I told her I couldn’t do it anymore and was begging for a c-section. Within 5 mins I was being prepped for surgery. By 1:58am, my daughter was born. My back and neck hurt constantly from pushing and that pain is worse than the pain from the incision, honestly. Best part is, they put the reason for my c section was “poor maternal effort” in their notes. HUH????
@maximus1215 sorry for the length but just wanted to give context bc I know so many people go unheard during labor and it needs to be talked about more!
okieangel31
New member
@david292 This makes me so mad for you that they wrote that in your chart. I had a similar experience with labor but I was induced so I was in the hospital the whole time. I begged for a c section too but they actually ignored me. 4 hours of pushing and a horrible full perineum tear later I had my son. His head was in the 99th percentile and was so stuck in my birth canal for so long that his jaw was clenched so tight and couldn’t open his mouth wide enough to nurse effectively, causing severe nipple damage.
They wrote in my chart that I was pushing with mild effort. Fuck that. If his head was in the 99th percentile, literally it was bigger than 99% of all babies. That doesn’t seem like a mild effort to me. Still salty about it lol
They wrote in my chart that I was pushing with mild effort. Fuck that. If his head was in the 99th percentile, literally it was bigger than 99% of all babies. That doesn’t seem like a mild effort to me. Still salty about it lol
@okieangel31 I was begging for a c-section from 5cm at 11am until 1am the next day and they didn’t listen until her heart rate and mine started dropping with every contraction after I got pitocin. I can’t imagine what you went through, that sounds horrible and I’m so sorry they ignored you. Did you get an epidural? I did and mine failed, I could still move my legs and I felt absolutely everything.
okieangel31
New member
@david292 I had two epidurals because the first one failed, the second one worked for a bit so I was lucky to get 3 hours of sleep. But I felt so much “pressure” for like 7 hours while dilating, to me it hurt but they said it was just pressure 
it was like he was headbutting my cervix.
That’s so annoying they waited until she was in distress. Like you were in distress but that didn’t matter I guess. I was seriously struggling and developed a fever and shaking violently but because our heart rates were fine it didn’t matter.
it was like he was headbutting my cervix.That’s so annoying they waited until she was in distress. Like you were in distress but that didn’t matter I guess. I was seriously struggling and developed a fever and shaking violently but because our heart rates were fine it didn’t matter.
@okieangel31 Ugh it really is the doctors and nurses who ruin the entire experience… I am so sorry
I could’ve just given birth at home by myself and had a better time, honestly. I was shaking, throwing up, fever- the whole 9 yards. They just kept screaming at me to push and telling me I wasn’t doing a good enough job and needed to push harder but she was still too far up into my birth canal, I didn’t feel like I needed to push, and I was in too much pain to even move. She was upside down too & they shoved their entire arm in me to turn her (didn’t work) so I tore anyway from the OB :’))
I could’ve just given birth at home by myself and had a better time, honestly. I was shaking, throwing up, fever- the whole 9 yards. They just kept screaming at me to push and telling me I wasn’t doing a good enough job and needed to push harder but she was still too far up into my birth canal, I didn’t feel like I needed to push, and I was in too much pain to even move. She was upside down too & they shoved their entire arm in me to turn her (didn’t work) so I tore anyway from the OB :’))okieangel31
New member
@david292 Ughh that sounds like a nightmare! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m still dealing with the trauma of my birth and have started seeing a therapist. I hope you have someone to talk to about it if you choose! It can be so hard when other people around us seem to have no issues. My friend called me to tell me about her birth and how she pushed for ten minutes, when I hung up the phone I just started hysterically crying and I knew I needed to talk to someone and was still processing 18 months later. It has helped tremendously!
danielmullangi
New member
@david292 Thank you so much for sharing. I'm a FTM due in 2 months. I may have to be induced (at 39wks) or baby may decide to come earlier (hopefully not). My baby girl has been diagnosed with CDH (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia). She will have to be taken to the NICU as soon as she's born. I was already worried about giving birth and her diagnosis just made everything scarier. I don't even feel like I deserve a baby shower.
@danielmullangi you absolutely deserve a baby shower!! You are doing everything right and it’s not your fault. Do what you think is best for you and the baby and make sure you have someone with you during your daughter’s birth who can help advocate for you and back you up! That was where I went wrong and I think would’ve helped my situation a lot. YOU are the mother, not the doctors, not the nurses or any of the staff. Remember you can say no to anything at all and if/when you do, it should absolutely be respected unless there is a medical emergency. Even if she’s going to the NICU. You have a voice, mine just wasn’t listened to. If you scroll through this sub and the other parent ones, there’s SO many positive birth stories. Mine just happened to be one of the few that weren’t. You and your baby girl got this and you’re a good momma!! Are you going medicated or unmedicated? Or going with the flow?
danielmullangi
New member
@david292 Thank you 
so much for everything you said! I was hoping to labor unmedicated. At this point I'm going with the flow just because all of this is new to me. Also so much has changed since her diagnosis. From the hospital (I have to give birth near the Children’s Hospital) to my labor plan and my thoughts about how I feel about myself as a new mom. So many things going through my head. 
You have no idea how much I truly do appreciate your reply to me.
️
so much for everything you said! I was hoping to labor unmedicated. At this point I'm going with the flow just because all of this is new to me. Also so much has changed since her diagnosis. From the hospital (I have to give birth near the Children’s Hospital) to my labor plan and my thoughts about how I feel about myself as a new mom. So many things going through my head. You have no idea how much I truly do appreciate your reply to me.️@snowtrekker I fully plan to tub medicated but when my doula kept mentioning home birth or birth center I kept repeating hospital. Because if the pain is unbearable I want the drugs.
mike4glory
New member
@snowtrekker I fully believe that my epidural allowed me to progress my labour. I was induced and was stuck at 4cm for a super long time and in intense pain, I got the epidural and was at 9cm within an hour
veritas777
New member
@snowtrekker You had nothing to prove to anybody. You did what was best for you and baby, and anyone else who has an opinion on that can go kick rocks. Out of their own vaginas.
Having an epidural saved me and my daughter from serious complications. I mean, we had them anyway from sepsis, but if I hadn’t had the epidural when I did and got her out, she could have been a lot worse. It meant we could both be treated with antibiotics faster.
Having an epidural saved me and my daughter from serious complications. I mean, we had them anyway from sepsis, but if I hadn’t had the epidural when I did and got her out, she could have been a lot worse. It meant we could both be treated with antibiotics faster.
elyonathan85
New member
@snowtrekker I also had been planning for an intervention free birth, practically for most of my adult life.
I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in triage for delivery and was put on magnesium, which eventually lead to Pitocin and hour and a half of Pitocin contractions had me absolutely screaming in pain and asking for an epidural. The epidural absolutely changed my labor and was wonderful. I don’t regret it for a second. I also had 3 second degree tears, and the nurse had to hold me open while the doctor dug around finding and repairing all of them, and I shiver to think about what that would have felt like without the epidural, because even with it it hurt.
I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in triage for delivery and was put on magnesium, which eventually lead to Pitocin and hour and a half of Pitocin contractions had me absolutely screaming in pain and asking for an epidural. The epidural absolutely changed my labor and was wonderful. I don’t regret it for a second. I also had 3 second degree tears, and the nurse had to hold me open while the doctor dug around finding and repairing all of them, and I shiver to think about what that would have felt like without the epidural, because even with it it hurt.
memlyrebecca
New member
@snowtrekker I also laboured in my back, it’s hell on earth, I’d love to know what labour feels like not in your back!
@snowtrekker Thank you for sharing!! I’m overdue with my second and really want the epidural this time - especially as apparently this baby is back to back and I do notttt like the sound of back labour one bit! You champion!
@snowtrekker Tried a VBAC last Saturday with back labor with almost no pause between contractions. I didn't dilate any further. Took an epidural and still was crying because of back contractions. Never again. Went from 3 cm till 8 cm in less then half an hour with medicines for contractions, which the baby's heart couldn't take. We stopped the medicines and my dilation stocked. Ended with a c-section.
Back labor is terrible, I was able to manage the normal contractions with breathing technics, but that didn't work for the back. I wish those only to my biggest enemies.
Back labor is terrible, I was able to manage the normal contractions with breathing technics, but that didn't work for the back. I wish those only to my biggest enemies.