“Nobody Wants Your Kid!”

[katrina2017]

@trandraskell Had a somewhat similar experience with my first born. Partner and I (and our son who was maybe 2 at the time) were at H&R Block actually, having our taxes done. Met with our usual tax accountant and our little guy kept running off/wanted to walk around and explore. I had to keep getting up & leaving the cubicle and chase/wander after him. A bit stressful when trying to get your taxes sorted out haha but is what it is! Receptionist gets up and tries to interact with my son. She keeps trying to get him to come to her. I keep blocking him from doing so. She then actually tried to convince me to go back into the cubicle and insisted she’d take and watch him for me. I was instantly unnerved and like, “uh no, thanks though.” I had to literally put myself damn near between her and my son. As well intended as I’m sure she thought she was being, the whole situation was weird and uncomfortable. Even my partner was weirded out and kept shooting me “wtf is up with this lady?!” looks lmao. She didn’t snap at us but she did look at me at one point, almost like, “what’s the big deal??”

Very odd and strange. As nice as she was and was trying to be, she was a total stranger to me and for all I know, she could’ve fucking walked out with my son in her arms.

People need to learn boundaries.

 

[creationmakessense]

@trandraskell The one stranger who has held my child yanked her out of my arms without permission. I was taking her to an appointment at the hospital during the height of 2021 pandemic issues, proof of vax required for pretty much everywhere, including to visit the hospital. But not for necessary medical appointments, which is key to this situation.

I was at the screening desk, holding her as she was not yet a year, answering the questions. When the lady asked me for my proof of vax I hesitated a moment too long. I resisted making a scene, because I had her with me, but the lady could tell by my face that I wasn't impressed.

I showed my proof, then she gave me the new mask to change into. I couldn't set the kid on the wet, dirty floor and was struggling to one hand the mask on when she came around and was all "Here. Let me help." Her words were helpful. Her facial expression, tone and body language screamed not to make waves or she'd have my kid taken from me and there would be nothing I could do about it. (Yes, I reported her the next day the complaint line was open)

We've never gone into any building since, apart from my former place of employment and the few people we visit, without her either strapped to my chest or attached at the wrist by a fancy cord I found on Amazon. Try taking her from me without my permission now; that's stainless steel inside the pretty wrapper.

So no. I would not let a stranger hold my baby, let alone watch her. Not voluntarily, and not unless it was an extreme situation that is extraordinarily unlikely to ever happen. Even if it weren't a pandemic. I worked hard to make that miracle, and I work harder still to keep her safe, happy, healthy and whole. I will not risk her for some random who has no idea or appreciation for the effort I have and do put in, nor has any right to touch her.

 

[aaronellis]

@creationmakessense That sounds like a tough situation and I’m sorry it was so uncomfortable, but forgive me, I feel like I might be missing something here. What do you mean like “she’d have my kids taken from me and there would be nothing I could do about it?” Like for declining her help to hold your baby? I don’t really understand.

 

[creationmakessense]

@aaronellis I disapprove of the concept of proof of vaccination for admittance to places, so I was hesitating to show it in a situation that I was not legally required to. It was a very controversial move, and there were more than enough demonstrations about it to show this, even in our borderline rural area. If I had been there for something for myself, without an infant present, I would have refused to show it out of principle for the circumstances.

Her attitude, behaviour and mannerisms gave every impression that I was to shut my mouth, toe the line and not make waves or she'd involve CPS. I had intentionally already not said anything, through great effort, because I didn't want to make a scene with the baby present.

All this aside, hindsight is 20/20, and I was in the midst of some pretty heavy ppd/ppa at the time. There is every chance I misread her intentions, and she actually just wanted to help a stressed out mother. But it isn't okay to just take a baby from her parent without the parent's express permission (or in extremely rare circumstances which hardly ever happen).

Regardless of whether I was being paranoid or she actually was on a power trip and implying that she had more power than she really did, I learned my lesson. Until my child is much older, currently 22 months, we will not go anywhere without her being physically attached to me.

Between her new propensity to just start running without paying attention to her surroundings and the Amber Alerts that happen so often, it seems like the only responsible thing >for me< to do. (I do recognise that this would not necessarily work for all families or situations.)